I guess it wasnt meant to happen
I should have known all along..
What my ears thought was harmony..
Was two very different songs..

I was lost inside the harmony
By the spell in tune you sing..
I was soaring through the heavens..
When you ripped off my wings.

.

He doesn't realise...
The weight of his actions and words that pummel her to the ground.
Beating her down for every time she rises up to undo his ropes with which she's bound.

He doesn't see...
Past the darkened lenses that she dons.
She wears them,
not to shield her pride that was wrongfully taken,
but to protect him from the repercussions that would come with accusatory speculations.

He doesn't know...
Of the soaked pillow that accompanied her.
The rivulets of tears...
She had quietly shed without a whimper.

He doesn't hear...
The silent altercation between the treasure that beats in her chest and the thing that thinks in her head.
The struggle that ensues when the mind tries to rescind what the heart had wholly given and carelessly said.

He doesn't care...
To think of the devastating waves that come.
Only to erode the last bastion of hope she nurtures...
This frail wall that she prays for nightly.
Just so that it would hold up through another day's endeavour.

He doesn't feel...
The need for empathy.
For he thinks that he's god with one devout follower.
He commands her loyalty with his deluded testaments
and his fists as sceptre.

She doesn't live...
To see future suns.
For her day finally set when it all came down.
The wall she had feebly held together with her life...
Easily gave way when he came at her armed with a knife.

.

You're a one night stand
But we spent too many nights
I lost count of it.

You're that unexpected kiss
On a drunken wasted night
Of vomits and *****.

You're that awkward hi
Exchanged by strangers who
Thought they both knew each other
But were clearly mistaken for another.

You're the bruise that turns blue
When I accidentally bump my leg
On the corner of the bed.

You're the scar that I never
Knew I had.

You're the bittersweet taste in
My mouth every morning.

You're the last thought lingering
In my head before slumber takes me
And you're the vagueness that
Haunts me in my dreams.

You're the scalding hot shower
In a cold freezing morning.

You're the boiling tea that numbs
My tongue for the rest of the day.

You're the obsession
I will never learn to let go of.

You're that person I will
Never get to call mine.

You're the one that got away.

-

I am trying to find an
easy way to describe
how I am feeling right now

I could say it is like tides going out
never again returning to shore

or

as if the sun has set permanently
leaving the world in darkness

or

it feels every minute seems
twice as long than the last

or

I am more empty than a
bank lobby on a holiday

or

I could just say
I miss you…so very much

That would be the easiet thing to say

His scaly skin slides across my tender flesh.
I never wanted this, but I asked for it.
His boney hands pull my hair
as his skeleton fingers slide across my delicate lips
and force their way inside my mouth.
"Hold your tongue, girl. Protestation will do you no good."

I close my eyes in desperation, waiting for the end.
Above me, below me, in me, I feel him.
Bruises blossom, dark beneath my ivory skin,
He feels no need to be gentle with a girl like me,
A girl who would sell her soul and body to survive.
The demon takes his pleasure and leaves his mark, ensuring his swift return, for his prey can no longer hide.

My mother told me
Stay away
She'd make sure of it
I had to bootleg you
For my personal alcoholism
I couldn't imagine a life
Without you rushing
Spiking my blood
But you took that bottle
And smashed it on the counter
You didn't have to stick it
Through my lungs
For me to stop breathing
I sweat at night
Screaming your name
My hands shaking
The withdrawals kicking in
I chugged down the
Medication they gave me
To stop it from hurting
But it never did
And it became a cycle
Pill
Whiskey
Pill
Whiskey  
Pill
Until the pain was

Gone.