Sometimes I think about
All of the words
That never escaped my lips

Where are they now?

Are they waiting restlessly to be spoken?
For the sweet release from the darkness of my mind.

Or have they long since decomposed?
To be forgotten, until only whispers remain.

What was so amazing about you

Pondering over quirks I’ve grown
To love
The more I see
The more I understand
The more it unravels —
My answer:

Maybe it was
The way you held your head high
As if the gods couldn’t make you bow

Maybe it was
The way you went barefoot
When everyone stood comfortably on their shoes

Maybe it was
The way you studied the universe like
It owed you all its knowledge

Or maybe it was
The way you took all our impossibilities and
Shrugged them all off in a few seconds
Just by being you

Being you.

So if you asked me what was so amazing about you —
Tell me, what was not?

after all these times,
i finally came to a realization
all the while i was given the signs
that loving you isn't my position.

but no, i still love you,
i still think of you;
but maybe, just maybe—
this time it has to be me.

maybe if i finally let go,
it'd be a chance for me to grow.

In the dead of the night
When there's no one around
Nothing clanking
Or making a sound

That's when the night pains
Begin to creep in
Tortured bones
Aching in skin

Diazepam and codeine
Bring no relief
My sleep is stolen
By the pain giver theif

These are the things
That others don't see
I just want my life back
I just want to be me

one who courts
gallons of imagination
and woos
litres upon litres of sensitivity
in the company of
bouquets of expressions.

i'm not afraid
of becoming older
i don't care
about my hair greying
or my skin getting looser

i'm afraid of sitting
at the kitchen table
staring at the same backyard
the same trees
the same flowers
every single day
while thinking

i wish i had done it

If I go,
without saying goodbye.
I want you to know,
that I really tried.
To live and love,
to endure and smile.
To find the truth,
in this realm of lies.

It's those moments when I see you in bed,
with messy hair and sleepy eyes,
covered in sheets, cosying up in your soft pillows.

It's those mirror selfies,
seeing you so smile so shyly,
goofing off adorably.

It's the random photos of you that you send,
letting me know if you're bored, stressed,
brightening my day up

It's those moments when you just dress up
asking me which looks better,
urging me to dress up too

It's those time that we post couple outfits in IG
Getting creative with our stories
teasing each other with who did better

It's those moments when we FaceTime
while we work
while we cook and
simply when we do random stuff like art.

Are the times and moments I love sharing with you.