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  Oct 12 noelle
i am so tired
everything that
exhausts me
keeps me
at night
having a hard time sleeping
noelle Jan 12
overanalyze every single word you hear
was this a sign that things were going wrong?
no, no,
you were the one who cared too hard,
not them.

stay up every single night on your phone,
either attempting to gather the courage
to turn these demons,
these constant reminders of your loneliness
into nothing more than a bad dream,
or praying just for one second
that you could feel the warmth
of equally returned love

talk down on yourself whenever possible
my life is **** because i deserve it,
you must’ve done something really bad
its nearly impossible for you to cry now

become a secondary character in your own motion picture
but most importantly,
drown every single one of your feelings
in old, stolen ***
learn to love the taste of it dripping down your throat
find comfort in the warmth coming from your stomach
you’re drinking bottled love now.
my favorite sad song
noelle Jan 12
“open up” they said,
and my heart listened

my mouth opened,
and words flooded out

but just as fast as i spoke,
the regret crept in
noelle Jan 12
society is a prison
it traps you
and steals your individuality.
makes you conform
until you are “normal”

so why don’t we escape?
break the rules?

because we are afraid
afraid of being alone
loneliness rots the mind.
it numbs your heart.

i think we all decided
being trapped together
is better than to be free
and alone.
noelle Sep 2022
sometimes i forget
that truly forgiving them
doesn't depend on their apology

forgiving them means
that their actions
don't control you anymore

it means you see them as humans
who have treated you
from their level of maturity
and your awareness of that
takes away the power
they hold
noelle Aug 2022
i'm not happy
and im not sad,
not enough to tell anyone at least,
but enough to keep my mind
awake at night.

nights are the hardest:
when you finally throw away
all your distractions,
so it's just you and your thoughts,
awake until the sun rises once again.
noelle Aug 2022
everything looks better
through rose colored glasses,
but in those moments i take them off,
everything goes quiet,
but it's almost excruciatingly loud.

my thoughts overwhelm my mind,
so i put on my glasses
and distract myself
from the ongoing misery in my heart
because nothing else seems to work.
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