Nikita

Nikita Aug 8

You are loved
You are kind
That's what they say to say

You are strong
You are driven
That's what they preach

Affirmations only go so far
When your beliefs have left a scar.

Less energy means more work to do

#poetry #affirmation #poet

Nikita Aug 5

Trapped

Fences built from deadlines
Purpose made from sacrifices

The illusion of freedom is just that

A silhouette of the our souls bleeding

Tired and empty

#poem #poetry #society #trapped #cage #tired #empty #sacrifices #soul

Nikita Aug 4

Softness

In a world full of daggers
I want to be a flower
I know I will get cut
I know I will be torn out
But how can I live life as a dagger
Without a chance to grow again

Softness is often mistaken as weakness. There's real strength in remaining gentle in a world that favours the brutal.

#peace #poem #softness #vulnerability #strength #hopeful #growth

Nikita Aug 3

Expiration

Like water flowing down a drain
I stand by and watch as
My time spins round and round again

Chest heavy and eyes weary
I reach for it only to slip
I sigh, this doesn't happen rarely

Aimlessly staring at nothing and everything at once
I only wish I wasn't viewed as one of the runts

Dating is a game and love is a fabricated connection in hopes of stability

#love #dating #romance #hopeless

Nikita Feb 2022

Trust

I hoped that you’d protect me from myself

I never thought I’d have to protect myself from you

Just woke up from another nightmare and it still breaks my heart thinking of you

Nikita Jan 2022

I Am Whole

People notice.
Their eyes and minds,
Focused on you.
Like a street lamp,
Judgment flickers,
Off and on.
You have a reason
That I understand?
No judgement.
You have an excuse
That I can't relate to?
Fix yourself.
Work on yourself.
Blame yourself.
Shape yourself.
Wait.

You are not broken.
There is nothing to fix.
You are whole as you are.
Like Kintsugi
You put yourself back together.
More beautiful than you
Ever were.

I have been taking care of myself for the past 23 years. I am no longer accepting life advice from anyone who believes I'm a project to fix.

#poem #poetry #fix #whole #blame #life #advice #judgement

Nikita Jan 2022

Paranoia

Seeping through the walls,
Slamming open doors,
Her past haunts her.

Her mouth is taped shut,
With a growling gut,
Shadows taunt her.

She knows that she's here,
With nothing to fear,
Her heart ignores her.

Her lungs force air,
Trying not to stare,
She's in control now.

Scuttering away,
The shadows decay,
Back into memory.

Battling psychosis with PTSD is terrifying but not impossible.

#ptsd #hurt #negative #lonely #fight #brave #psychosis