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It still hurts..
How do you forget
the thing that crushed your heart?
The pain is still there,
haunting me.
It goes away,
but it always come back.

and it still hurts the same way it hurt before
I told her I'd never fallen in love
with an alien before

She gave me an odd glance

And then I told her she was out of this world

She chuckled and smiled

And at that moment
it became evident

*Her lips don't even have to touch mine for me to get lost in them
You say
"You're gorgeous"
As if I should be thankful
That you find me so

But honey
Don't you know?
A woman like me
Will never be charmed with words that simple
She always said
"I love you"
first.
It's not the fact that you are gone,
It's that the world
didn't stop
turning,

When mine did.
They say that practice makes perfect
but i have practiced self-love for
some time now.
I am still stuck on the hope
that one day things will just click into place
so i am not fighting a war on how to love myself.
Perhaps i need to learn that self-love
doesn't need to be practiced but to be left
alone, for it is rooted inside of us,
waiting to blossom.
Nothing can compare
To a soul as beautiful
as yours.

Not all of the stars
in the endless universes
towering above our reach.

Not every flower bursting
with a life so pure
beneath our feet.

Not a single golden ring
or a diamond or jewel
buried in the dirt.

Not even all of the love
gathered in every friend I've known
combined as one.

Not a single word
read in any book
taken from every library on this earth.

Not a song, nor a bird
A story, a kiss
A place, a jump
A lover, or a home.

Not one magnificence
I have ever laid eyes upon
Will ever compare to you.
For anyone who's ever felt like they're nothing
when you read this, let this not be a bitter reminder, but a glimpse on who I will be.
This will not be the last you hear from me,
for I'll always be there for you.

I changed and aged into someone better,
not because I chose to, but because I had you in my corner. My life differs than that it was a year ago, and you're to thanks.
Even though we have drifted apart, and the situation we are in will always destroy me in the inside. But I'll still be kicking and screaming, for I am alive.

So when you read this, let this not be a bitter reminder of our times spent together, but a glimpse on who I am, Who I was, and who I will be. And hopefully down the road, this will not be a bitter reminder to me on who we where, what we had, but, hopefully, as I pray everyday, *what we will be..
First loves will always tear us apart.. and the distance destroys the inner workings of my heart.
There she was.
Her parents found her lying on the floor,
not moving,
not breathing.
Her mother screams in terror,
But her father can't say a word.
Something catches his eye,
A note,
Lying on her bed.
He walks over,
Picks it up,
And begins to read.
It says,
"I apologize.
I love you both dearly,
But,
I could not stay.
I couldn't bear it any longer.
I was already gone,
Dead inside.
I'm sorry.
You shouldn't have to see me like this.
But,
Know one thing,
I'm happier now.
I'm in a better place,
I'm at peace.
Resting in peace.
Please don't cry,
Don't be sad.
I just went away,
Its not like I wont see you again.
I look forward to that day,
The day in which I see your smiling faces,
And you see mine.
I'll see you up in paradise.
I love you."
Her father fell,
On his knees,
His body filled with horror,
And shock.
He cried,
And cried,
And cried.
He wanted to know where...
Where he had went wrong.
And when...
When he had lost his little girl.
She was his world.
And now,
His world was gone.
It was physically there,
On the floor,
Pale,
Gray,
Marks all over its arms,
And legs.
But,
His world was gone.
It was destroyed,
Shattered into a million pieces.
He could never get her back,
And now,
There was nothing he could do.
He felt helpless.
He sat there with his wife,
And they both cried.
They cried a billion tears,
Tears that seemed to never stop.

Her little brother walked into the room,
And saw his sister laying there,
Motionless,
And dead.
That night was the night he first cut his wrists...
And then the cycle begins again.

Seven years ago,
To the day,
His sister took her own life.
Suicide.
He was only a boy,
11 years old.
He didn't understand.
He didn't know why,
Or how she did what she did,
Only that she was gone.
He looked up to her,
After all,
She was his older sister.
She was beautiful,
And strong,
But apparently not as strong as everyone thought.
One day,
He noticed something curious.
She had six tiny red marks on her arm.
The next day,
She had even more.
After that,
She always wore sleeves,
So he never saw her arms again.
He asked her what the marks were.
After a very long silence she responded with,
A simple sentence of,
"They are there to show that the pain can go away,
At least for a little while."
And then she walked away.
That sentence had always stuck with him.
The pain could go away.
He had never felt enough pain,
So much pain,
To turn to what she did,
Until that night.
The night he lost his sister.
That little boy,
Hes now a man.
Hes 18 years old,
And he hasn't went more than a week,
More than a week since that night,
Without cutting.
He goes to school,
And its hell.
He gets bashed for anything,
And everything.
They call him ***,
Emo,
Gay,
Loser,
Pathetic,
So many things...
He can ignore all those things,
But there's one thing he cant.
The one thing that hurt him the most is what some ******* had said.
"Why don't you go **** yourself?
Just like your sister.
Nobody would care."
He ran out of the school,
Crying.
He felt that everything,
Every single word they had said,'
That it was all true.
Nobody would care.
They wouldn't care if he was gone.
His mom,
She's now a drunk.
His dad,
He hasn't seen him in six years,
After his parents divorce.
His sister was gone,
And all his friends are too ****** to even remember him.
Nobody cares.
After he got home,
That same day,
He wrote a letter.
It wasn't addressed to anyone,
Just anyone who would listen.
He wrote as he cried.
When he was finished he slit his wrists,
For one last time.
He went to his closet,
And put on his Sunday best.
He climbed on a chair,
And slipped the rope around his neck,
And...
Stop.
Something caught his eye.
He saw a girl.
A girl of about 16,
Walk past his door,
And down the hall,
Towards his sisters old room.
He got down,
And he followed her.
She went through the door,
And into his sisters room.
He followed her.
When he walked in,
He was overcome by total shock.
He saw his sister,
Sitting there on the floor,
Where they had found her body.
She beckoned him over.
He sat down beside her,
And laid his head on her cool lap.
She talked,
And talked,
And talked.
She convinced him to hold out,
And stay strong.
She saved his life.
She was his guardian angel.
Everyone has a guardian angel.
Some are on Earth,
Others are in Heaven.
A guardian angel is someone who looks out for you,
And someone who cares about you,
And loves you.
In this case,
He was saved by his guardian angel,
His sister.
If you cant find yours,
Then you're not looking hard enough.
Be strong,
And carry on.
Life is worth living.
It may **** now,
But life wont give you more than you can handle.
It gets better.
Just have faith.
I apologize for it being so long. Just always remember to stay strong, and hold on.
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