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Nathan Wilson Oct 2015
You can't wake up, this is not a dream.
This is Hell, as pretty as it seems.
The pain it cuts, I can see it in your eyes.
Slowly torn apart by a multitude of lies.
Your life just fell away, it seemed like yesterday.
When I promised to show you the way.
Back home and I know that I failed you.
I could see it as you withdrew.
From the world and turned away from me.
But I'll let you run wild and free.
In the hopes that maybe you'll come back to me.
Nathan Wilson Oct 2015
Something is wrong with me.
I'm blind, I can't see.
The blockades in my way.
I stumble but feel no pain.
My tears fall like pouring rain.
Where am I now?
Sweat drips down my brow.
My vision is forever grey.
I just can't live this way.
Nathan Wilson Oct 2015
For everyday I have a mask.
A mask for each and every task.
One for joy, one for loss.
But for each one I use there is a cost.
When to my face a mask I bind.
I leave a part of my soul behind.
In ******* to this disguise I wear.
I know not how well I will fare.
I hide myself from them all.
My masks they keep me as a thrall.
No one here knows my name.
They all think that we are all the same.
They don't know any different because I hide.
My true nature inside.
A mask of happiness covers my sorrow.
A smiling mask picked out for tomorrow.
No truth, only lies.
The beautiful deception that my masks provide.
Nathan Wilson Oct 2015
Why can't I find someone to love me?
Am I cursed? Is there something more that I can't see?
I walk the path of life alone.
I sadly ponder but it remains unknown.
I don't think that I'm ugly.
I don't think that I have a bad personality.
Yet still they all remain at a distance.
As if unaware of my existence.
I begged the shadows to keep me company.
And they were happy to oblige.
They showed me a new path to walk along.
A path of hatred, a path of wrath.
The shadows made me strong.
And I lashed out against those who had ignored me.
Now finally they would see.
If I can't have love, well, fear is fine with me.
Nathan Wilson Oct 2015
Heaven feels far away.
With exhaustion I sway.
Trying to run the good race.
But it seems evil is more of my pace.
With every sin I still want to be holy.
Born into darkness it swallows my heart.
A soul full of sin rips me apart.
I can hear it's voice in my head.
A shiver down my spine, full of dread.
I collapse to the ground, in sin I'm bound.
My actions make me sick.
My body aches, my hands shake.
I look to Heaven and know God is ashamed.
Of the things I've done, and this monster I've become.
Isolated from His grace I lie down.
But I still reject Satan's offer of a crown.
Despite my actions I don't want to live in darkness.
Living like a husk, heartless.
Maybe God will see my plight.
And resurrect me with his light.
He'll put me back on His holy path.
We'll walk together and won't look back.
Nathan Wilson Oct 2015
I could see it as you turn away.
Still clearly you could hear me say.
Don't leave, don't give up on me.
This isn't who I'm meant to be.
And yet onward you go.
A heart made of stone.
Ears deaf to my tone.
My pleading, my crying.
My bleeding, my dying.
Life wasn't supposed to be this way.
With me broken and you far away.
What hope is there for me?
I fall down on my knees.
Crying for the light.
Consumed by the night.
The future looks bleak.
As you forget about me.
The promises you made.
Like shadows they fade.
White and black become gray.
As I struggle to find my way.
Don't leave, don't give up on me.
This wasn't how it was meant to be.
Nathan Wilson Oct 2015
One by one the days pass me by.
The struggles of life burying me alive.
Lacking air my vision grows dark.
My heart beat slows and the Reaper comes to mark.
The time of my death and collect my soul.
I give in, lacking the strength to free myself from this hole.
With my last breath I beg forgiveness.
I cry for God to heal my sickness.
Then the Reaper’s cold breath envelops me.
And my wish is granted, my soul is free.
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