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1.9k · Oct 2015
Life's Struggles
Nathan Wilson Oct 2015
One by one the days pass me by.
The struggles of life burying me alive.
Lacking air my vision grows dark.
My heart beat slows and the Reaper comes to mark.
The time of my death and collect my soul.
I give in, lacking the strength to free myself from this hole.
With my last breath I beg forgiveness.
I cry for God to heal my sickness.
Then the Reaper’s cold breath envelops me.
And my wish is granted, my soul is free.
1.7k · Jan 2016
Mirrors Don't Lie
Nathan Wilson Jan 2016
Look in the mirror and all I see,
Is darkness looking back at me.
Corrupted, crushed, and black.
No way to get back on track.
Lost in the shadow of my reflection.
Dying slowly from infection.
1.4k · Oct 2015
Just a Man in a Mask
Nathan Wilson Oct 2015
For everyday I have a mask.
A mask for each and every task.
One for joy, one for loss.
But for each one I use there is a cost.
When to my face a mask I bind.
I leave a part of my soul behind.
In ******* to this disguise I wear.
I know not how well I will fare.
I hide myself from them all.
My masks they keep me as a thrall.
No one here knows my name.
They all think that we are all the same.
They don't know any different because I hide.
My true nature inside.
A mask of happiness covers my sorrow.
A smiling mask picked out for tomorrow.
No truth, only lies.
The beautiful deception that my masks provide.
1.3k · Oct 2016
The Voices in my Head
Nathan Wilson Oct 2016
Is there something wrong with me?
People say I'm crazy.
I hear voices in my head,
They tell me what to do,
They tell me what to say.
They tell me just how to make it through the day.
Sometimes I wish them gone.
But without them it's kind of lonely.
People say it's unholy.
But I just talk to the voices.
A conversation in my head,
is better than the tears I'd shed.
If I listened to the world outside the confines of my mind.
Nathan Wilson Dec 2015
I miss my home.
As I walk along this long and lonely road.
Exiled for **** I didn't do.
No one cared but you.
Although now it seems like you didn't care too.
You just let me leave.
And pretended to grieve.
But I came back to ask you something.
That's when I saw you in his arms.
He was seduced by your charms.
I walked away vowing to be somebody.
To bring the world to its knees.
And when I return with my new fame and wealth.
You'll beg me to take you back.
But I'll throw your heart in the dirt
Like a worthless flirt deserves.
1.3k · Dec 2015
Pay the Price for Paradise
Nathan Wilson Dec 2015
A pound of flesh for paradise.
That is what they say.
My body bleeds to pay the price
I'd pay it any day.
Till nothing but my bones remain.
Because paradise is my high.
With ecstasy my body sighs.
But all to soon my mind returns.
Desperate, I put knife to flesh.
For paradise my soul yearns.
Price paid my journey begins fresh.
I sit back and leave the world.
For just a little longer.
But as always I'm cursed to return.
But my desire for my paradise just grows stronger...
1.2k · Oct 2015
Blind
Nathan Wilson Oct 2015
Something is wrong with me.
I'm blind, I can't see.
The blockades in my way.
I stumble but feel no pain.
My tears fall like pouring rain.
Where am I now?
Sweat drips down my brow.
My vision is forever grey.
I just can't live this way.
1.1k · Dec 2015
Watching From Afar
Nathan Wilson Dec 2015
She just runs around all day.
At night she can't sleep.
I watch her as she stops to weep.
She's feeling overwhelmed but keeps to herself.
Bottling it all up on the top shelf.
So I just watch her unravel.
As she travels.
Through this grey, ugly life.
I wish that I could help with the strife.
But she just passes me by.
893 · Oct 2015
Abandoned
Nathan Wilson Oct 2015
I could see it as you turn away.
Still clearly you could hear me say.
Don't leave, don't give up on me.
This isn't who I'm meant to be.
And yet onward you go.
A heart made of stone.
Ears deaf to my tone.
My pleading, my crying.
My bleeding, my dying.
Life wasn't supposed to be this way.
With me broken and you far away.
What hope is there for me?
I fall down on my knees.
Crying for the light.
Consumed by the night.
The future looks bleak.
As you forget about me.
The promises you made.
Like shadows they fade.
White and black become gray.
As I struggle to find my way.
Don't leave, don't give up on me.
This wasn't how it was meant to be.
819 · Jan 2016
Death's Sweet Kiss
Nathan Wilson Jan 2016
Oh, Pale man who's name is death.
Come and kiss me, steal my breath.
Come and take me by the hand.
And lead me into your pale land.
Forever there to dwell.
With the souls of the ******.
789 · Jan 2016
Feeding Shadows
Nathan Wilson Jan 2016
Well I know.
That you don't want to stay.
And I know.
You won't listen when I say.
There's too many shadows.
And even though,
My love for you glows.
It's not enough to face the dark.
But you go anyway.
And I watch as they consume.
Every part of you.
753 · Oct 2016
Drifter
Nathan Wilson Oct 2016
I can't seem to find my way home.
Through this world I roam.
Rejected and alone.
I miss the times when I was happy.
But now my clothes are tattered.
My boots are worn and battered.
But I still walk these lonely roads.
580 · Nov 2015
Death's Soldiers
Nathan Wilson Nov 2015
We walk to the rhythym of the war drums.
Our blood pounds, hearts beating faster.
We offer sacrifices to death, our cruel master.
The souls of our enemies, the blood from their veins.
We deal out his judgement, rejoice in the pain.
We blaze a trail through the land, leaving naught in our wake.
The frail see us coming, their hearts quake.
Overcome by fear from the tales told of us.
Death's soldiers, his slaves, here we stand thus.
562 · Jan 2016
Wishes for the New Year
Nathan Wilson Jan 2016
A new year, if only I could just sleep through all 365 days.
Dream beautiful dreams because I hate this reality.
Clouds gather, rain pours, and the sky is gray.
I pull the covers back over my head and close my eyes.
Because what my mind conjurs is better than real life.
Dreams give unlimited options, you see.
I can fly in the sky or swim deep in the sea.
Talk to bird, crack jokes with a fish.
Ah to live in a dream who would not wish?
If only, if only I could spend the year asleep.
For my dreams are like vacations, only cheap.
473 · Mar 2016
A Riddle from the Riddler
Nathan Wilson Mar 2016
Give me a riddle, riddler.
Something to puzzle my mind.
Give me something to consider.
To keep me occupied.
A way to pass the time.
Give me a riddle, riddler.
So I don’t go mad before dinner...
insanity
Nathan Wilson Jan 2016
What the **** am I doing here.
They tried to tell me but I didn't hear.
I pushed foward too hard, lost in my dreams.
Now my life is coming apart at the seams.
Depression sets in and I hate myself.
Emotions escape, no longer caged on the top shelf.
I want to be saved but I don't want to be.
I pull away but cry for someone to save me.
But maybe they should do nothing.
It's comforting to wallow in self-loathing.
425 · Oct 2015
My Suicide
Nathan Wilson Oct 2015
I need someone to save me from myself.
Inside my soul there is nothing left.
Left all alone inside my head.
The voices whisper, they want me dead.
They tell me of the peace that comes in the end.
They say that I'll be with my friends.
The ones who passed on and crossed the divide.
Dragged away by death's unrelenting tide.
At first the voices sound like angels.
But Hell, it seems, always works that angle.
In truth, it's demons whispering in my ear.
Into my mind their words sear.
They tell me, take up your blade.
And fall upon it, let your life fade.
But another voice calls out.
Through the fog in my mind I hear it shout.
Life is like a precious stone.
It's hard, true, but beautiful too.
Your end will come in due time.
Do not rush to end your life.
At this I rise and begin to climb.
Out of the dark and towards the light.
After all I'm not one to submit.
And to just lie down and quit.
Is the coward's way out.
And I am no coward.
419 · Nov 2015
Army of Two
Nathan Wilson Nov 2015
People say that deep down in my soul.
There's peace but I don't know.
Hate consumes me from deep inside.
My feelings make me want to hide.
Instead I stand and scream at the world.
I rage and fight.
Against the light.
I draw my sword and grab my shield.
Alone I walk across the fields.
Geared for war I stand resolute.
Not caring for what I stand to lose.
Anger gives me strength.
Death is my embrace.
Fear is a lie.
That festers inside.
Shake it off and take my hand.
Stand with me against the land.
Brothers we are, comrades in arms.
An army of two, is all we are.
Lend me strength to rise again.
Pull me up, take my hand.
Together we can make a stand.
Against this world that we so hate.
War and death, this is our fate.
383 · Oct 2015
No One to Love Me
Nathan Wilson Oct 2015
Why can't I find someone to love me?
Am I cursed? Is there something more that I can't see?
I walk the path of life alone.
I sadly ponder but it remains unknown.
I don't think that I'm ugly.
I don't think that I have a bad personality.
Yet still they all remain at a distance.
As if unaware of my existence.
I begged the shadows to keep me company.
And they were happy to oblige.
They showed me a new path to walk along.
A path of hatred, a path of wrath.
The shadows made me strong.
And I lashed out against those who had ignored me.
Now finally they would see.
If I can't have love, well, fear is fine with me.
373 · Oct 2015
Fire
Nathan Wilson Oct 2015
I see fire.
A furious rage that burns in your eyes.
Fanned on by countless lies.
I see fire.
It burns within your soul.
Dark and hot it takes its toll.
I see fire.
It brings forth rash actions.
Inspired by fatal attractions.
I see fire.
Your life forfeit with no direction.
Death follows, no redemption.
Nathan Wilson Dec 2015
I tried to be perfect.
But no one seemed worth it.
No one believed in me.
Trust me, it wasn't easy.
So I let my soul grow dark
Unwilling to continue this farce.
I threw off the shackles of society.
The expectations weigh heavy.
But I shrug them off and continue on.
Determined to make it, standing strong.
I bare my soul before God and man.
Darkness is real, it's no sham.
And though it resides in me.
I refuse to let myself be.
A slave to my humanity.
I rise above the rest.
And become one who has withstood the test.
I transcend the masses and strike down.
All who seek to steal my crown.
For vengeance I am and death is my hand.
I deal it out and upon their souls I brand.
My mark, the sign of the one.
336 · Dec 2015
Mistakes Made From Feeling
Nathan Wilson Dec 2015
I fight just to stay alive.
But I tell them I'm fine.
I'm just lonely.
So I draw you in.
To fill the void.
I embrace the sin.
But then the tables turned.
I played and got burned.
There was always something I couldn't resist.
But now it's like I don't exist.
Forever cursed to walk alone.
With no where to call home.
328 · Dec 2015
Don't Ever Leave
Nathan Wilson Dec 2015
Yes, I know you tend to abuse me.
But you're the most beautiful thing I see.
Your words cut deep and my eyes water.
Chipping away, my spirit you slaughter.
Yet I still desperately need you.
You're like this intoxicating brew.
That I can't seem to have enough of.
I love the way your looks sting.
The way you bring me to my knees.
I beg you, don't ever leave me.
317 · Nov 2015
Memory Lane
Nathan Wilson Nov 2015
I remember you standing there.
The sun shining through your hair.
You were all I ever wanted.
But now I'm haunted.
By memories of a better time.
When you seemed to see through the grime.
And loved me for who I was.
But that was another life.
Now you're somebody's wife.
And I'm left walking this lonely road.
Nothing and no one to call my own.
293 · Dec 2015
Disorder
Nathan Wilson Dec 2015
Is anybody there, do you hear me crying?
Is anybody there to witness me dying?
Left all alone in the dakness of night.
My blood runs red, I've lost this fight.
Before the sun went dark.
It shined light into my heart.
Now it's just disorder.
Welcome to the new world order.
All hell breaks lose and chaos reigns.
And here I lay, slain.
While my life drains.
From my open veins.
285 · Oct 2015
When Heaven Feels Far Away
Nathan Wilson Oct 2015
Heaven feels far away.
With exhaustion I sway.
Trying to run the good race.
But it seems evil is more of my pace.
With every sin I still want to be holy.
Born into darkness it swallows my heart.
A soul full of sin rips me apart.
I can hear it's voice in my head.
A shiver down my spine, full of dread.
I collapse to the ground, in sin I'm bound.
My actions make me sick.
My body aches, my hands shake.
I look to Heaven and know God is ashamed.
Of the things I've done, and this monster I've become.
Isolated from His grace I lie down.
But I still reject Satan's offer of a crown.
Despite my actions I don't want to live in darkness.
Living like a husk, heartless.
Maybe God will see my plight.
And resurrect me with his light.
He'll put me back on His holy path.
We'll walk together and won't look back.
244 · Oct 2015
This is my Reality
Nathan Wilson Oct 2015
You can't wake up, this is not a dream.
This is Hell, as pretty as it seems.
The pain it cuts, I can see it in your eyes.
Slowly torn apart by a multitude of lies.
Your life just fell away, it seemed like yesterday.
When I promised to show you the way.
Back home and I know that I failed you.
I could see it as you withdrew.
From the world and turned away from me.
But I'll let you run wild and free.
In the hopes that maybe you'll come back to me.
233 · Nov 2015
She was the One
Nathan Wilson Nov 2015
Alone I pace these halls.
Wondering when I'm going to see you again.
I bang my head against these walls.
Trying to find relief in the pain.
I can feel my soul die, without the light that you provide.
It hurts when you say that it won't work.
I see the fear, behind your eyes it lurks.
I pull you close and say it'll be okay.
Without you my world turns gray.
You say to take it slow and I grasp onto the hope.
That you won't run and hide.
If you stay I promise I'll provide.
I'll be anything you want me to be.
Your love set me free.
From the ghosts that haunted me.
Your kiss healed the hurt.
It washed away the dirt.
And suddenly I knew that angels.
Did walk the earth, it was no fable.
Finally I knew.
That I had found the one.
It was you.
115 · May 2018
Escaping my Reality
Nathan Wilson May 2018
If only there was a way.
To escape these endless days.
To dive between the pages of a book.
To explore every nook.
To find treasures.
And adventure with heroes.
To be something other than myself.
In this endless dream.
That I call my reality.

— The End —