woke up thinking about death
staring at the opposite wall
I used to be scared to death of dying
But it hasn't crossed my mind in awhile
So I tried to imagine the deformed abyss
The lack of color and ever-changing, nondescript shapes.
The pressure in my eye sockets and absence of thought
But I realized
*I just don't care anymore

She just sits and stares
mindlessly at the wall
Oblivious to the ****-filled sores
oozing down her arm..
Letting the wheels stop turning and the fog from her high cloud her mind
She sits and stares mindlessly at the wall
That dusty breeze from that worn down fan turning her hair to a messy mop
She sold her soul for a bag and a room to use
And there she sits and stares mindlessly at the wall dead as can be
How did get this far?

For every step I take,
I can feel my feet slipping
back three.

I'm at the end of my rope.
But my noose isn't even tied yet.

Living in a snow globe.
Watching life around me blossoming,
beautifully.
But when I try and reach out.
My hands hit the glass and stop me dead in my tracks.

Feeling the cold pavement, you wonder
If it’s a dream or reality
If this is the end or you have to get up
But the pavement is holding you back.

You wonder what’s next, what’s coming after
And you can see the answers in the gleaming laughter
Of the other souls who are waiting,
Waiting for you to join them in light
Moving closer towards the beginnings
And the meaning of your true life.

But you stop, you’re not ready
You want to run back to the life you had,
Complete the puzzle and share it with others
And let them know what lies in the light.

You succeeded, you’ve come back, but always remember
You’re here to complete a plan
Designed to enlighten and take you back
To your other life that waits ahead.

As it is, your words cut me like a knife.
I don’t know how much longer I can take the pain.
For the next couple of months, I’m going to put aside a pill for every thing you say to me that hurts me.
And when I finally can’t take it anymore, I’ll swallow all the pills at once and end it all.
Simple

I have a little gold fish
I poured him into his home
I watched him flow to and fro
admired his glide, his drift
the way he thrashed and picked up pace
I was so hypnotized by this beauty
it was hours later that my eyes widened in surprise
I'd never even filled up the bowl.

My body, soul and mind divided.
Split by an unknown, pestering force.
The constant war waging between the sides for superiority.
The pain and hopelessness battling comfort and joy.
I cannot see a resolution to this endless war.
The only way out is to destroy them all.