We all need that positive thing in our lives,
Let me be yours.

2 am on a friday morning,
you were playing me that 90's music you said you grew up on.
we sat on the couch of your apartment and did nothing
but listen to the music while everyone else slept.
if I could go back in time and relieve one moment
it would be this one, this simple thing.
back then I wasn't tired and sad and lost.
now? I lie in bed at four in the morning like this
writing poems about how much I miss my old life
and you.

the gem around my neck
I clutch it like a life preserver
but it still can't save me
from the raging sea and storm
inside my head

You once told me you thought I was beautiful.
Now I'd tell you I hate myself when I look in the mirror.
You once told me I made you happy.
Now I'd tell you that seeing you only makes me sad.
You once told me you'd get me back to feeling one hundred percent.
Now I'd tell you that you're the reason I'm far from it.
You once told me you missed kissing me when we were apart.
Now I'd tell you I can barely remember the feeling of your lips on mine.
You once told me a lot of things,
and I have a lot to tell you,
but I won't
because words don't seem to mean much anymore.

I've just been broken into two -
The piece that stayed with me
and the piece that went with you.

at 3 i am a girl
all I want is to grow up to be a princess
Hopefully with a Prince Charming and a castle

At 5 I got asked what my ambition was
Even then I wanted to be a princess
But not with a castle, I already knew it wasn't going to come true

At 7, I got asked what my ambition was
Then, I changed my mind
I wasn't going to be a princess, it was all in my head.

At 10, I decided I was going to become a doctor
I had watched my close kin bleed out to death in an operation theatre
And I wanted to be a doctor who saved every life that came knocking on my door

At 13, I was too caught in the middle of my friends problems
I spent my days healing broken hearts and listening to stories that I forgot that I had my own stories
Just no one to speak them out to

At 16, I wanted to be a psychiatrist
I was willing to take on the problems of the whole universe
And then I realized the weight was too much for me to bear

At 18, I want to be a person. I want to feel things
I don't want to store them in a box and throw the key away
I don't want to hold my tears back
I don't want to live for anyone around me
I want to live for myself
And there's nothing else I'd rather be because
No one does me better than me

Liquids and lipids
North and south
Fatty and lean
Mouth-to-mouth
Resuscitation
Breathe
In and out
I think I need the Heimlich too
Compress my chest
Until I come to