Trapped, trapped upon ground
No room to cry or escape  
But your waves will help

I'm not built like other girls
with them being small
I'm more like a guy
But i accept it
Be proud of wat u have
    could be worse
      so i'm grateful i have least a body

BUT WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO TEACH ME HOW TO BE PROUD
BY CALLING ME YOUR DAUGHTER?????????????????????????????
DO YOU THINK DENYING MY BEING A MAN
WILL TEACH ME HOW TO BE ******* PROUD???
DO YOU THINK I AM NOT PROUD?
I AM ALIVE. I GO OUT EVERY ******* DAY
AND THEY LAUGH AND TREAT ME LIKE A GIRL
AND I AM ALIVE AND I LOVE MYSELF AND I
AM
SO
PROUD
YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE LEARNING HOW TO BE PROUD
WHERE'S THE PRIDE IN LETTING YOUR LOVING HUSBAND
SHOUT AT YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN WHEN HE'S SO TRASHED
HE WOULDN'T MANAGE TO SPELL HIS UGLY NAME
WHERE'S THE PRIDE IN OBEYING A FILTHY DRUNKARD SWINE
WHERE'S THE PRIDE IN NOT SAYING A ******* THING TO HIM
BUT SAYING ALL THIS **** TO ME
I AM NOT WORSE THAN THIS FATHER OF MINE
AND I THINK IT WOULD BE HARD FOR  A HUMAN TO EVER BE
I AM STRONGER AND MORE PROUD THAN ALL OF YOU
HOW DO YOU DARE THINK YOU ARE MORE THAN ME
I SWEAR TO THE OLD GODS, ONE OF THESE DAYS I'LL JUST PACK MY STUFF AND LEAVE, AND I WON'T COME BACK NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU LIE TO ME THAT YOU'RE SORRY
YOU HAVE A PERFECT DAUGHTER ALREADY, LEAVE ME BE
LEAVE ME BE
*my ghost will find your ghost and tear it piece by ******* piece so that you know how it feels to have parts of you deleted

I shuffle my way into the kitchen,
suicidal thoughts running through my head
"you're worthless"
"you're stupid"
"you're ugly"
Thats the only thing I hear.

I grab the sharpest blade from the drawer
slit  slit  slit
It hurts
but at the same time
it feels amazing.
I need to stop
but I can't.
drip  drip  drip
My blood splatters onto the floor,
with every cut
more and more blood
trickles down.
This is so relieving.
The knife is cutting out every insult,
abolishing all of my glitches.
all of my failures are replaced with integrity.
I feel as if I were new.

With this knife,
I'm going to carve a better me.

I wish you cared
First you stopped loving me
Now we're barely even friends
Slowly drifting apart
You will just replace me with someone else
You don't know how much I really care
You never will
I don't think you even care
I try and try but you give me the cold shoulder
One day someone will do this to you
Maybe you'll understand
And you'll see how I feel
Hurt

11 alone
12 alone
13 alone
I am not alone yet I feel alone
Well felt alone
18
The feeling still lingers but does not consume
18
I am not alone do not feel alone