I remember
His voice
So loud and enraged and full of contempt
I remember the hand
And the resounding noise it makes
I remember the flash, and the sting on the side of my face
I remember the burn behind my eyes
I remember the blur
I remember that single stray tear
And then the others
Streaming down my face in rivulets
I remember trying to contain myself
Trying to keep it all in
Don’t make a sound
Don’t
But I did
And I remember the shouting
And then the calm
His voice, so full of disappointment
And I remember thinking
Could anything be worse than this
I remember he left
I remember my feet moving down the hallway
I remember closing the door and covering my mouth
I remember the choked sobs that racked through my body
I remember my breathing, so ragged and out of control
It took hours for me to calm down
And I remember looking at myself afterwards
I remember my bloodshot eyes and tangled hair
I remember that feeling
Of being alone
Of having not fulfilled
Of being unwanted
And whenever I remember
I feel it again

do you remember how much i loved you?
i do.

i remember it like the soft breeze blowing in my hair
nice, yet chilly.

what i remember the most is the words that i uttered
that last fight
when you got tired of trying (or maybe pretending)
to accept me
and i got so fed up with you never accepting me
after all those years.

i remember how i walked out so confidently
without looking back
when all i wanted was to turn back
run to you
hold you
and tell you
'please don't give up.'

but i didn't.

i remember how much i wanted you
to come back and tell me you're sorry,
tell me we could make this work.

but you never did.

and i was too proud to say the truth.

because truth is,
i still care.
i think i'll always care.

though if anyone asks me,
i'll never admit it.

Look at that little broken girl,
The one he created.
Look at those fake smiles
And sad eyes.
She was never enough for him.
But look at her now.
Look how she climbed that rainbow
And look at her beating heart.
Look how she survived.
See how she was strong enough to leave
And look what she's found now.
Look at the sunshine bursting out from within her
Look at those stars she can't help but show.
Her smile is real now
And her eyes shine brighter for you.
Look at that little broken girl.
And look how strong she is now.