For the woman who knows me more than anyone
The decoder of my unpredictable personality
The person who can give me my needs even before I ask
I never heard you tell me that you love me
But I'm sure that you do
It was obvious in the way you care for our family
We have been through a lot
And that really means a lot
Sorry if my way of loving you sometimes displeases you
In all my pursuits I made countless mistakes
You seem disappointed
The truth is you just want me to be somebody
Somebody that can get the best out of life
Don't worry Mommy loving you is
Experiencing the best this life can give
You are the channel of God's unconditional love
Yes you're not perfect so am I
But your motherly love is the one that connects us
Accepting your dear son not just a part but a whole
Not just the good but even the worst
Yes, I'm a Mama's Boy and so be it!

The only thing I am certain
Is the feeling for uncertain things
The only thing I know
Is almost close to nothing

The only thing that doesn't change
Is that change is not ashamed to remain
So, what's the only thing that matter?
Maybe, just maybe, depending on this poem's reader

Or maybe, just maybe, it's love that only matters
If that so, then why it'seems not it so?
Do I look at the wrong angle?
Or, do I look only on things I want to see?

I hope to find this only thing
Or, I'll just look for some things

To  get hurt is to get tough
Let this pain make me man enough
It’s so easy to say, “I’m weak and lazy”
Than to fight my hell out to life-so-easy

WhenI look at the man in the mirror
I can’t look in his eyes for so much bitter
I numb myself to my utmost core
I feel nothing anymore

The facade of perfection
When in truth: filth and self-destruction
Seems so happy without the pain
Why not choose: seems in pain, but truly happy

The brave get killed, but once in his life
The coward lives, have everything, but life

The space in every word of a sentence
The silence between notes of a song
The rest after a hard day's work
Gap and stop makes sense

There is no such thing as nothing.
Even nothing must have something.

Sometimes, a stop is needed
A necessary halt for refueling the engine
A little brake to a steep corner
The travel becomes faster

It is not on how I see you beautiful
But on how you see the value in me
It is not about how I recognize you
But on how you see me more than I do

It is not that the world wants to know you
But on how you want to know the world around you
It is not that you're intriguing to people
But on how people intrigued you

You know that you're beautiful
That's what makes you more beautiful
But what makes you the most beautiful
Is that you make me see that I am too

How could I see you enough?
If you're more than eyes can see
How could I know you enough?
If you're more than I can know

What a beautiful person!
Genuine yet mysterious
Immeasurable but with clarity
More than beautiful, that person is you!

You’ve been a naked newly born
Mama rejoice while you mourn
Birth pain turned to joy
Hearing the doctor saying, “he’s a boy.”

Time flies as you started to walk
Learned to speak a few words to talk
Your selfishness and fragile life
She protects with sleepless nights

She molds you in her own way
Until you grow enough to go astray
You’re loved yet felt owned
After what she’s done, she’s now alone

Mama got old and can’t say a word
You visit her from your troubled world
Letting the silence speak words
You’re not that old, yet can’t say a word

Weeping for the joy you can’t define
Mama’s pain dissolved through the tears in her eyes
After years playing your own toys
You’re still your Mama’s Boy

The expectation is a huge dictator
‘Cause we only get what we pay for
If unhappiness is a way of thinking
Of always being happy, then you’re dreaming
You create another problem
In thinking you should have none of them

Roadblocks are part of the path
Denying them will let the burden lasts
A time comes when you step on a ****
Also, a time comes of an angel’s meet
As peace is never the lack of violence
Rather contentment in the midst of confused silence

You don’t prefer a hard life, you shouldn’t
You just prepare to be less unprepared, why you wouldn’t?

I don’t hear the boo
I don’t want a clue
I don’t want the cheer
I don’t need to hear

I couldn’t see what’s coming
So, why am I overthinking?
I couldn’t  see again what happened
So, all I have are lessons at the end

I couldn’t feel the heat
I’m having a slow heart beat
Enforcing to numb the feeling
For the sake of practical reasoning

If insanity is lack of proper thinking
Then, what is for lack of proper feeling?
It is worth it to outsmart my emotions?
If my connections are my passions?

Let the time stop to call it "mine"
All for the taking this moment divine
Tomorrow could wait — the later "Now"
And yesterday was a memory — the already passed "Now"

A missed "Now" will never return
Lessons learned and hoped the moment to reborn
Continuous neglect bound to regrets
The beautiful and meaningful "Now," how could we forget?

God's mercy filled our lives with many chances
But, chances are not always heaven-sent graces
It may come when least expected
Maybe, it won't arrive when badly needed

Wherever we are, be there
Deepen our senses and be aware
That yesterday was dead and tomorrow still asleep
Unwrap this gift — the "Now": the only sure chance to keep

You knew that for such yearning thirst

No sunlight rapture would suffice

When you created these poor eyes of mine

You were thinking of that eternal gaze

Enraptured by the endless deep

Pleasure does not always mean happiness
Same as tears could mean joy without sadness
Sometimes, you found ‘it’ in a weird place called ‘pain’
You’re not a *******, just in love with the ‘gain’

You cannot give what you don’t have
You can only give to as much as you love
And love is getting ’pain’ for the ’gain’
Just to give away your ’gain’ in a painful way

Then, the ’pain’ will go away
Then, you search again for a way
A way to get another ‘gain’
That means another ‘pain’

Then, you give away your ‘gain’ (again)
You will release the ‘pain’ (again)

This cycle will continue until a time
A time when you only have is time
Stopping this make you a dead person
To continue is to find a great reason

Pain. Gain. Give. Repeat.
There’s no other way to cheat.

Choosing not to choose is still choosing
Just as not deciding is still deciding
Not taking the risk is still risky
The making of a default life — the comfortable misery

I don’t want to own my mistakes
I rather blame the world as an unfair place
Pointing someone as an escape for my own shame
Is like accepting my lot will always be the same

The effortless door — so wide and so light
While most right paths are battles needed for a fight
Sometimes, restrictions give the way to freedom
While too much freewill makes someone a prison

I then realized: the default is all my fault
I’m might not in control of most results
Yet, it’s not about getting the so-loved “success”
But, it’s me lovingly taking the so-hated “process”

Life in default settings is quite addictive
The cage of ease is to make-believe
Better to get the pain of today’s threats
In exchange for the pain of tomorrow’s regrets