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Amanda Mar 5
I want to take shot after shot after shot of *****
Or whiskey
Or even gin

Any and all hard alcohol
To mask the resounding pain
Ricocheting throughout my worn-out body
As if it were a pinball machine

Swallow some poisonous liquor
Because I remember many years ago
How ***** intensified the irresistible attraction I held for you

YET.. there was always a tipping point
A few chugs past tipsy
Then I would begin throwing up
Finally intoxicated enough to set my mind free from your ribcage for awhile

Too sick to think about you
Because I would be
Too sick to think about anything

That is the only way I can hope to halt this overwhelming longing
To be embraced in your arms
One more time
An excerpt from a letter to, well, you- know-who..
kell Dec 2018
My creativity is haltered,
i'm stuck on a continuous train
I could stop if my brain would kick in and find a exit or a object to throw in front of it
but its stuck moving,thoughts over thoughts thrown away down they go, down the drain.
I don't even think twice I know its not good enough for them I ask why, why isn't it good enough for them?
i'm running low on fuel, im drained and my creativity is on the floor stomped all over by people I don't know,
I scream for them to stop,
The train came to a halt
  I got off it was the final stop no more room for me I was empty and useless and no good for society.
but when I got off others did too. They pleaded that I bring back what I once had i cannot i stopped the train for some kind of acceptance I was on my knees for people who didn't know me
and yes I was begging for them to show affection
They are strangers, not friends not family but there criticism seemed more important to me. its what the people want
not me.
Were forever stuck on the train of
One day at a time, I'll turn it o-ver.
Keeping it simple now, I'm just stay-ing so-ber,
taking what I need/leave all the rest.
My mind will fol-low my body in quest.

To turn it o-ver... day at a time, just keeping so-ber.
Taking what I need, leaving all the rest.
My body to fol-low my mind in quest.

One day at a time, I'll turn it over.
Keeping it simple now, I'm just stay-ing so-ber,
taking what I need/leave all the rest.
My mind will fol-low my body in quest.

To turn it o-ver... day at a time, just keeping so-ber.
Taking what I need, leaving all the rest.
My body to fol-low my mind in quest.

One day at a time, I'll turn it o-ver. . .
These are the tips for the 12-step AA program. I just put them together in a rhyme for a song.
Cherisse May Sep 2018
I've been so used to being lonely and self loathing that I end up pushing everyone away, hoping that it'll all go away.

This nasty feeling inside me needs to stop.

But something's telling me the only way I could ever do that is if I make myself stop.

Stop, halt. Ending.
These inner demons rising beneath my bedsheets trying to strangle me, trying to devour me whole. They're unstoppable, and I'm terrified at what I might do next.

I'm starting to lose all hope.
Whatever I touch, I break, so I don't even touch
Wherever I shine, I fake, my shadow tells too much
However I try to proceed, I sink in too deep
Whomever I call love, never we share a good sleep

Every moment collapses, leaving us blindly
I hold on to my senses, singns of my body
I wear however the wounds of my soul
Questions of origin, others and all

Reliance on feelings have thought me to judge
Listening to voices have brought me through grudge
Counting on numbers have led me to withdraw
Looking at features have dreamed up just plain law

I wander and wonder, why I can't do the math
Why these thoughts ponder and don't take a bath
Sometimes I share a free passion to make
But most of the times those act like headache

Here am I reflecting, dissecting my wows
Wishing and cursing on different nows
Clocking and measuring where there shall be strength,
Courage and willpower does not care about length
I am reeeeally lonely the bad thing is I enjoy it and I'd rather die sometimes than to re-enter the everyday grind's battlegrounds...
And that also I would be good to go and my pride, my strive for the so safe to be unknown and fear of failure messes me up and drives me out of time.
Oh yes and **** it, I publish this time :)
SassyJ Dec 2015
The rush of masses from one corner to another
What of a mother trying to caress her own?
A hold close, the ultimate protection from it all
The shakiness and the thunder of the unknown
An initiation to the big wild word, consequential
A march of the earthily troops, the unending road
The battles with ongoing fights and territories
Where does it all stop? When can we all halt?
Where am I pacing? What does my heart say?
My being just want to float, fade to the ethereal
Block it all and breathe life on this very moment
To feel the breeze of the air swirl, with no doubt
To pace without hearing the steps within and out
To be free and bounce as I roll uncontrollably
It’s all brand new, the now, the moon, the coming sun……..
An army of slashers and taunters
Only two hands to halt in silence
I don't live life full of hate.
Dhaye Margaux Feb 2015
You are the light in my darkest hour
You made me see the beauty
Within the shadows
Everytime I see your face,
I gain strength

You are the sunshine in my rainy days
Whenever you stand here and show your light
This complicated world  just seems so easy

That everything which seems slight would turn significant
For you open my eyes to see the beauty
In each awful detail

You are the promise,
The hope of an unpromising tomorrow

That whenever you speak you would touch
The mind, the soul
The world

You are the history within the insensibility
You bring the memory of a lost dream
Creating a new child of  courage

Yes, you are a blessing
A gift of splendor
An angel
The hope
The light
The promise

But even the sun needs to set
To give way to the reassuring night...

And I am but a wandering soul
Every gift I have at hand
Is not for keeps

I am the mist
Which anytime would go with the wind
To fade

And somehow delight in
My transience

And dream
To see you smile

In my repose...
Resting time again...

— The End —