i can’t help but think of how i will never live up
to any and every expectation
of others
and of my own

i wish i could live confidently
living without caution
bursting at my seams with power

but i am weak
i can’t be what you or i want me to be
that doesn’t really seem possible
with all that i lack

the silent whisper of confirmation
that this body is undesirable
my smile is vile
what i lack is all i  have

they say make with do
but i rather throw a penny away
than hope i can save it for later
because that’s sadly how i am
wired to immolate

technology is a saving grace
but their synth
is a siren in disguise
calculated syncopations
create chemical induced inebriation
beware of their trance
cause keeping track of time
is lost inside of euphoria
the emptiness of dread you have
will only grow until you are void