I can’t do it
Not like you want me to
I’m not a God
I’m mortal just like you
I loved you once
I needed you like air
But then you changed
You became a lion in its lair
You controlled my thoughts
You controlled my fate
My heart turned on you
My love turned to hate
Then one day I left
I may have saved your life
Evil had its suggestions
About a gun and a knife
Maybe you knew this
As you heard it in my voice
My mind turned to madness
I had no other choice
But now calm breezes blow
Just like when we met
You said God brought us together
You said let us not forget
But it was time
That softened my emotions
I traveled alone
But I am unable to walk on oceans
I thought of holiness
And the words of Jesus
I wondered about humans
And if he did deceive us
What are we capable of
After a journey into darkness?
How can I love someone
Who is no longer my princess?
Am I to forgive
And forget
When tomorrow awaits
With further regret?
How can I forgive
What I cannot trust?
How can I love
What a commandment says I must?
I read the words
Of the stern rubric
But I am a failure
I cannot play the music
In the unholiness of my offer
I can only give you this
I will never hurt you
But I cannot offer a kiss
You must let me go
And realize what I say
You may believe in God
But my sin does not pray
The decision has been made
You are forgiven
But I will walk into the fire
Because today only Jesus has risen



Copyright 2012. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona

Why won’t you fall in love with me again
Forget about the past and the pain
The way it ended was not because of love
It was because I doubted you
Now I know you’re the only one for me

Why are you saying you won’t be my friend
I promise it won’t be the same
The nights we shared are what I’m thinking of
I know you remember them too
Tell me it’s the way I made you feel that you see

Why do you avoid all the places we’ve been
Is it because you can only think of blame
Come down from what you think you’re above
What you found in me is still true
How it was and if you believe, the way it will be

No matter where I am
I’m ready to leave
As soon as I do
I begin to grieve
Is there no place for me
To draw from contentment?
Is there no time signature
That will allow accompaniment?
It’s best to be a shooting star
Leave them begging for more
Make them wonder why you leave
But their questions you should ignore
Yes this is how it is
Lockets of time to be collected
Wait until the chain calls
Then bring another to be connected
I can do nothing but come and go
This is how it must be
In the leaving is the seed
For the next flower you will see
In the absence
The rain will fall
Tears that sow
My hearts knowing call
This is the way of life
And longing is our secret
For we will rush together
Before the next beautiful regret

Give them what they want
Or make them want what you have to give
A pretty face makes you stupid
She knows it, that's why she acts that way
It doesn't matter why they feel the way they do
You fell for it, you deny it, but we know better
Nothing older than you can be questioned
You just have to decide what it is you wish to believe
It's better to take pictures of flowers in the spring
Than endure someone who can't understand your mind
It's not about getting there from here
It's about making there what here is all about
A transformed mind has forgotten his childhood
And must say no to his mother and mean it
If you ever decide you can be faithful
Then you are the luckiest man in the world

It has been raised before
The question
Of prosaic content
And depression
The exploration
Of depth
Instead of untold heights
And the breadth
Of what is sanity
And what is madness
Inducing fear
And sadness
In those who care
But who wish to remain
In the happy talk
Which they feign
As the minstrel
On the street
Receives his daily bread
The giver relishing this feat
Yet nothing changes
The song will remain
As does the pain
Which we cannot explain
It is just a face
That adorns
Each corner
Wearing silent thorns
As we hear again
“I never knew you”
And you gasped
But it was true
And I know
This was directed to me
And not you
Because I could see
The face on the corner
Was the sanity
And my mind turning
Was the insanity
Of our condition
But you say, “No more!”
“Stop writing about it”
But what for?
So we can forget?
I cannot
Yet I too am helpless
With words that rot
On a page
That cannot be digested
Or provide nourishment
To the souls we neglected
Yes the question remains
Is it sanity?
Or is it depression?
As I insist on reality
Is happiness a choice
To be accepted or rejected?
Or is it a blessing
And unexpected?
Engaging in searing sadness
Over unending childhood memories
Which I wish to relive
Because my Father would have his faculties
I am overwhelmed
In the past
But today
A new memory will last
Because it was a happy one
And the child I rear
Will someday blink back
A tear
As she wills her mind
As I do today
To go back
Somehow, someway
To a time
Of her childhood
When we were together
Where past and present stood
Yes I want to cry
So I can remember
That what I long for
Is in my child’s December
Her new morning
Became mine of long ago
Her new day
Became what I used to know
She took me back
And I saw the boy
And his father
In her eyes of joy
And I remembered
My sanity
And my depression
Were instead a sign of a divinity
That I cannot explain
But can feel
As her love
Reminds me of what is real

put a ****** mary in your salad you'll thank me later
i saw somebody do it then i remembered it was me
part bottle part bottle part can part shaker
pour some drink some shake some
put it all back where it came from
see what i mean?

hey now baby why don’t you try it for yourself
stop watching everybody else and live a little
eat what you want but about the irony on the side
i’m telling you to pour some more
and not live your life like before
see what i mean?

i recall listening to a feeling exploding inside
i wanted to ask a professional what it means
but he charges for my personal problems
i spoke to myself again about it
all they can really do is hope to find
nobody knows her true state of mind
see what i mean?

i’m speaking to a teenage girl now
i hate one of my parents what to do
when i was three everybody told me i would
they just laugh now and say wait till you have one
then you’ll wish you were a teen again
so why did they bother to have me then?
see what i mean?

I took another wistful drag
Thinking, "That's some ***** ****"
I don't know why I do it
As soon as I light one up
I'm already lookin' to quit

Expectation and anticipation is all I have
But what's real is no dream
I build it up in my mind
Knowing how it's going to be
But an imagined ocean is only life's stream

Making some money presses upon my mind
I say something intelligent every now and then
But there is no challenge
There is no thrill
In a situation where I've already been

I think about *** all the time
It's the only thing that I can see
Letting myself go
Her gasps in the wind
It's the only dream that becomes reality

I can't spend my whole life in ******* fury
Pleasuring my girl until she screams
I have to find something
Anything in my life
But I am a man of extremes

I'm exactly what every girl suspects
A charming rogue impatient with spark and court
Why are they interested
In a pathetic freedom rider?
They know I'm not really their sort

Can I be someone's lover?
I'm beginning to wonder about that
What will we do today?
What's wrong with you?
They question where my mind is at

Well let me tell you something about it
It's not here that's for sure
As you stand before me
I am merely an image
It seems I only make you feel insecure

All I can say right now
Is there is pain with no end
A wanderer cannot rest
Or learn to be content
I know I can never pretend

Let's talk honestly about life
You know I love you
But can you love a rock
Drifting towards an unseen sea?
Because soon I will fade from view

Someday on your door I may knock
Wondering if my dream is alone
I have agreed to suffer
In return for my own life
But can an unworthy man approach your throne?

Walking away burdened by regret
I know I've made a mistake
But is that really true?
I received what I asked
Instead of giving it seems I can only take

He felt everything he needed to feel
A womans infidelity
His Father dying
His children crying
But still, he must live on
What space exists for him now?
He sailed beautiful waters
With a storm at his stern
He only had so much time
Before the shore would tell a sad story
A story of someone who tried
But was lost in the search for meaning
It’s a story of a man and where he stood
Where his feet were planted
He thought the beauty of nature was his spirit
And the beauty of man
But neither were of his own making
So he climbed higher
But not with his feet
Or his hands
He wanted things greater than himself
To make himself smaller and smaller
But that is not what soothed his discomfort
As he retreated into his own mind
He stopped living for things
And places
Love was for one night
Because worry slept beside him always
Worry about his fate
And his children’s
And whether she really loved him
He had no way of knowing
So he decided she didn’t
Just like the storm behind him
It was only there to remind him
To either live or die
To make money or ask why
To take pictures or his ego to deny
To suffer desire or remember it’s all a lie
To leave smiles to those who cannot see
And sorrow to those who know how life can be
Washing up on shores
That asked what took him so long
To come home

Disturbing images of reality
you finally looked
Reflections of a mad child
you raised him
Sample whiskey plate dream
your escape plan
A year ago knowing nothing
where you began
Reduced to what is lacking
it must be dealt with
Anything wrong is the scope
that's all there is
Recent polls do not know you
are you surprised
A conversation never happened
you didn't listen
Good night is no longer useful
it never was
Failure never felt so good
you became human
Walking forest contemplative
it survived the fire
What is going to happen tomorrow
only free will can say no

I'm not going to run
I will leave this place with them
My friends
Yes we know good times
And we think about the end
No matter
Together we will be
What difference can fear make
My heart remains true
Waiting for one another
On the other side
For those who can hold us up
For God to bless again
He told me he knows you
This I believe
He told me he knows you

I cannot she cried
I cannot be alone
As she rubbed her fingers across the lamb
Shorn of its wool, it felt so cold
It was the moment of passing
Where the ocean is deep but abundant
And space is far but promising
Where birth becomes light
But as the chain tightened around her neck
And the still face of silvery grace showed its age
She grew silent
As her lungs filled with the life that was promised
No matter the black painted sun
Or  the moon that wept
She knew this life to be untrue to hearts
It wasn’t always going to be safe enough to breathe
And the end might not remind her of happiness
But she thought of his own cry of being forsaken
The loneliness of this life is only meant to prepare us
And though we love enough to suffer
We also love enough to believe
And we believe enough to be saved

Forced from their homes
Thrown into the hold
Chained and gagged
They did what they were told
They were unloaded
And herded like cattle
Sent to the plantation
And then began the battle
Deemed less than human
Whipped and scorned
Working for others
Their past mourned
Then the explosion
Suddenly free
Unprepared for the moment
Not knowing what they could be
40 acres and a mule
Was their reparation
Go make something of yourself boy
Was the proclamation
But what can you do
When you reach the wall?
You are not allowed to climb
You can only fall
Hung from a tree
For the color of his skin
The war was still on
His life didn’t win
A march across a bridge
To face the wall
To tear it down
With tears and God’s call
A moment of joy
Then cut down by a bullet
The trigger of hate
One man did pull it
The cost of freedom
Paid in generations
Then we tell them to count
All of their blessings
But today they died
More innocent black men
When will we stop
Killing the color of their skin?

You must never change
For me
You have been spared control's wrath
You will follow your heart
You will follow your path
You were free when we met
So this I do not give
But instead it will remain
Rather without
You will be with
My desires are dreams
Not commands
Be as you are now
You never have to worry
I will enjoy
Rather than allow
But when you become lonely
Will you think of me?
I may not be the only
But I will make you see
Love
Passion
Strength
Freedom
With this you will live
In this you can believe
I did not come to you
For your mind's conquest
You are not my goal
You are not Mount Everest
Others will try to construct
The vision they conceive
But I see a vision
In you
And together we will weave
A life as we define it
Our voice unrestrained
Our thoughts unexplained
Our existence uncontained
And when we are apart
Your heart will rest
Protected by the walls
Of trust's treasure chest
Walk alone my love
And carry your wishes
And I will carry mine
Together we will share love's riches
But as you live your life
As free as you can be
I have but one question
Can you do the same... for me?

It was silent beauty
I never tired of it
But it did not reach for me
It gave itself to the eyes of every stranger
And though the sky held it close
It's light passed without remorse
Only to draw the water near
And because the ocean washed my feet
I was transformed against my will
And what I became was the strength of a picture frame
Because to stand beside you
Is to live with beauty I will never forget

Must I suffer to understand suffering?
Must I starve to understand starvation?
Must I bleed to understand bloodshed?
Must I experience in order to empathize?
Can I not feel your pain?
Can I not tell of your pain?
Can I not obsess about your pain?
My numbness is an abomination against mankind
I will not ignore
I will not turn away
I will be you....



Copyright 2010. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona

I don't want to pick you up
I'm not gonna give you a line
You wouldn't believe it anyway
I'm not gonna waste my time

You want to meet me?
Then why don't you walk on by?
You won't be the first girl
To look me in the eye

I'm not your usual
I'm not here to pick you up
I don't play games
And I don't collect names

You think I can impress you
In the first five minutes?
Why don't you impress me?
Why don't we test your limits?

You keep looking and playing with your hair
You have a smirk; you're giving me a dare
Maybe I don't feel like making the first move
I'd rather have my dignity than try to be smooth

I'm not your usual
I'm not here to pick you up
I don't play games
And I don't collect names

I know what you want
You need my approval
Your ego is on fire
But like I said
I'm not your usual

You're gonna have to meet me halfway
Or else I'll be on my way
You can find another man to worship you
But if you want love, you know what to do

I'm not your usual
I'm not here to pick you up
I don't play games
And I don't collect names

I'm not your usual
You know?
Or would you?

The sun was coming through the window
I knew it would be a cheery day
That’s better than wondering about
And feeling like I’m not very tall

I never wanted to be so different, but
The connection was like four instead of two
It brought me into the light more often
Than the way like minds try but never do

I don’t worry about what I wore
Just enough to cover I suppose
Even so I wanted it to be a message
My shirt decided to give you a call

After we speak I always feel it in my sleeves
The things we are and the things we’ve seen
I like that it’s ok to be on different planets
That’s why my window said get out of bed

You never wanted to be so different, but
The connection was bigger than you
It brought you into the light more often
Than the way like minds try but never do

We vowed never to consider the struggle
It was always about breathing and living
Love was the discovery of chances together
Whatever happened was the might of it all

We never wanted to be so different, but
The connection was even closer than true
It brought us into the light more often
Than the way like minds try but never do

Do you love your child?
Do you believe bullets are better than flowers?
Can you even speak the words?
What difference to a life of dishonest existence?

The avoidance of light
And knowledge of truth
Rather with denial
To bring darkness
To believe a lie
To send forth the lie
To pollinate the life others

Do you love your child?
Do you believe money is better than love?
Can you even speak the words?
What difference to the future that you squander?

To climb a tree
To tell a lie
Rather on the ground
Like a poor man
Who tells the truth
And who sleeps well
As you watch the gates
In fear of his awakening

Do you love your child?
Do you believe power is better than honesty?
Can you even speak the words?
What difference to those who believe in you?

To elevate yourself
Above all others
Rather with humility
To quietly give
To bow before truth
To walk away from gain
Stolen in the night
Because you had nothing else
But your own reflection

A dream lives forever like angels
Until you decide which one to steal
The thoughts that dance as we sleep
Are the only one's that are real
Quiet slumbers forget past difficulties
And remind of what was always meant
But distance is circumstance frustrated
Unable to touch the dream that was sent

I'm not crazy enough
To believe the world can be one
But I know a home and food
Is the way peace will come

It's not the race we should fear
It's the man who cannot feed his son
When it becomes nothing but blame
Anger lives where there once was none

How many times
How many times
Did someone give you a hand
Why is it so easy
To forget who lost their land?

How far the living have come
Though the dead cannot speak
What is the world of heaven about
Is it the only thing the poor can eat?

He doesn't want you to hate him
He was happy just the other day
Someone gave him a smile
It reminded him love is not far away

How many times
How many times
Did someone give you love
Why is it so easy
To forget what peace is made of

Walking a straight line
It’s not so easy even with a Bible and love for your children
That’s what they say anyway

But my thoughts are not so still
I can still smell salt near the ocean
My breath quickens in mountain air
And I feel humility in every moment

There are no obstacles I cannot recognize
Because the path is my own
All that is required
Is the strength to overcome my sin

What sound cannot be summoned from within
What memory cannot be recalled at will
But I see you watching me
As I watch you
Your distance is the same as mine
I can only wonder if my journey is the same as yours

Could you that I would with you as I could if you would with me

The confusion of a life constructed to endure
The questions of loyalty to decisions already made
It does not mean I could never love you

It only means I do not know where to begin

i see what you see
i hear what you hear
we speak with understanding
not of each other
but of fear
you live to be justified
you honor me if i agree
to speak as brothers weeping
a stream begins by the falling rain
and love must trust the words of the sea

Our voices
Are they an echo
Of a desolate love in the air?
Our longing
Are they the reflection
Of an unrequited love affair?
As we sleep
It watches
Knowing all our secrets
All our pain
All our loves
A reluctant confidant
Suffering
For all eternity
Witness
To all who love
And to all whose dreams are crushed
As we raise our eyes
And bare ourselves
The mirror of our sadness
Understands
In the shadow of its light

Guilt, sorrow or obligation are not love or compatibility
A soul mate isn't just nice or there just to make you happy
These things cannot force the issue of where your true self lies
It is wrong to take the gifts of another under false pretenses
The sooner this is realized the better off all you will be
True understanding of yourself will open the door to your life
Once you can begin to live alone, then you can begin to share your life
The decision to share your life must be made from a position of strength
The decisions of a confused mind can cause endless turmoil
Know who you are so you can know what you can give
Learn to make your decisions based upon your true self
Shed the desires that others have of your life
Their wishes come from their own weaknesses, not your strength
Remember the things you've always wanted and take them to heart
That is who you are
Find that person
It's you...

You had a name
And a pretty dress
You wore it well
You wore it to impress
We smiled
And said what we say
It is the dance of strangers
Wondering if this is the day
To be who we are
To prepare our minds
For the journey beyond the superficiality
The imperfect word failed to find
You wanted light
I wanted darkness
And yet when it was my turn
The light was my fearlessness
To tell you that I am everything
Everything you want
The challenge that you need
As you flicker through this moment
To the time and place of a dream
Igniting before your eyes
As my calling became yours
And you finally removed your disguise
As spontaneous prose burst before you
To the laughing mirror you were sent reeling
To confirm what you already knew
Beauty could not stop what I was stealing
Yes you are pretty
So very pretty
But is today the day
To find your soul in the city?

I should never have left our apartment
But the courage in your words left me no choice
I watched your face trying to ignore what you said
It all came from a place deeper than your voice

At first I thought it was just a warning
But then you told me I didn’t get it
That’s when I knew that it was real
And now I know that you really meant it

When you find a feather
You know it’s a part of something greater
What flew away once landed at my window
You knew that love for me would never be the same
And now that you have taken flight
How else would I know that you were right

I wish we had been born long ago
Quiet evenings walking a path of leaves
It could be that time has not long enough passed
This the night air told me true love believes

I can see what it means to you
To live a life knowing of a happy end
And as the camera slowly recedes
The movie we made is now a memory
But though I know what is true, still
You play a game of forget and pretend

When you find a feather
You know it’s a part of something greater
What flew away once landed at my window
You knew that love for me would never be the same
And now that you have taken flight
I must live knowing that you were right

To ride on top of the train,
not inside
To eat only bread and salt,
not speeches
To live as only the poor would,
not talk
To be threatened by differences,
not welcomed

To humble yourself before man,
not above
To turn your heart to peace,
not hate
To see yourself as light
not flesh
To walk equally with all men,
not apart

To pray for wisdom in life,
not advantage
To pray for peace of mind,
not cunning
To pray for love of life,
not self
To pray for humanity,
not glory

To the living
It is the end times
To the dead
The times have ended
Alive or dead
Meaning
Has its purpose
The only way to God
Is to believe
In the primacy
Of your own heart
Before the dust settles
The belief
In your nobility
Cloaks your delusion
As you assume
Your impending doom
Will either be pardoned
Or crowned
But the end
Cannot be determined
Only lived
If you were hurt
It is not what I wanted
If I kept you from love
It was not meant to be
As you search
For meaning
Look not to me
But through me
As my back
Is all you will see
To prepare you
For more meaningful disappointment
Cry not
For my heart
Was never open
It was sent to you
To warn you
To prepare for the end
Of who you were
And the beginning
Of who you will be
Look not to me
For answers
Look to me
For hope
For I am flesh
And I have taught you
To be spirit
Whole
Alive
Free

The animated mystery
Inside every sunset and crescent moon
An optimistic journey
While the shadowed silhouette
Covers an empty spoon

In the cradle’s motion
Destiny is determined for the chosen few
And to what devotion
Or earthly friend
Can the poor turn to?

Living below the surface
Of human consciousness and material worth
With no political office
To end hopelessness
On this mean earth

Nothing but misery
And alienation covers their injured minds
Caring is a political primary
With insincere oration
Leading the blind

No law of value
Can nurture a child or free it’s mother
No white statue
Of truth defiled
Will care for another

Groomed for a process
Ruthlessness assumes advantage gained
It is through applied duress
And forced subordination
That wealth be obtained

Scorned at birth
Exploited and discarded under a cross
Venturing forth
With faith to depend
On an ancient promise

With grace upon them
And love showers as never before
The masses of poverty
Of whom you never knew
Are free of your violent war

Don’t be upset about it
I will get to know you someday
But tonight I just want to fly with you

When you looked at me that way
I didn’t think about forever
Only what I needed to give back to you

How many eyes have you met?
Did they melt into the sea while you watched?
I can only say I know what you look like
And it’s good enough for me

Whether my thoughts are ******
Or exactly how you want them to be
I will only know when they touch you

Looking across a room
Every secret you die to resist
Is ready to strip itself naked before you

How many men have you met?
How many told you the things I already know?
I can only say that I know how you feel
And it’s good enough for me

They asked me
Didn't you notice something was wrong
I thought
How can you tell?
I hadn't reached that point yet
I wasn't drinking from the same cup anymore
I had a strange feeling inside
I'd seen a lot of looks cast my way
But not all of them were smiles
It's hard to decide what's normal sometimes
Especially when you're trying to let go
Rejecting life is not the way to know someone
I didn't want to be the one to say it
I thought about being judged
I knew I'd lose that one
Everytime
There's too many things to hide
But it's easy for them to find
When you look for their sins it opens every door
Except when they open you see them standing there
And it's not what you were expecting to see
Because what you didn't notice
Were the things you didn't want them to see
But you invited them in
The fingers that pointed all belonged to you
And they brought them back to you
Because they had no use for something that was wrong

We couldn’t find our way
So intention became consequence
We set each other free
And waved goodbye to everything
Except remembrance

Now you’ve come back
With your lonely heart in your hands
We said hello again
But my memory of you
Doesn’t understand

What is it that you love?
Is it me or my company?
Could you love just anyone
Or do you love only me?

I like to watch planes fly overhead
Just like I like to look at you
But when I’m on board it gets too bumpy
Just like love when you say I do

It’s a funny thing to think about
People trying over and over again
It’s as if they have no memory
But nothing burns like an old flame

We had a dream once
But they write books about dreams
There are so many holes to fill
Someone else has to tell you what it means

I could love you every night
But we always seem to forget
We both know how good it feels
But we’d rather paint our next regret

I always felt like I was sleeping out in the rain
You would walk by and only see my faults
But it’s not my fault that you can’t love me
Maybe one day we’ll start acting like adults

How can she be real?
Beauty drawn by God's hand
A painting behind a glass
A Monet or Rembrandt

How can I make her feel
The things that I see?
How can I be a part of the picture
And make her part of me?

Standing in the crowd
A flower in a vase
Bathing in beauty's glory
Wearing fantasy's face

Is she lonely?
Is she sad?
Will she ever know
About the love we never had?

I am America
Conqueror
Conquered
Indentured
Old world roots
New world trees

I am America
To overcome
To transform
To dream
To live
To die

I am America
Native
Black
Brown
White
Mulatto

I am America
Soldier
Protestor
Fire
Healer
Flower

I am America
Christian
Jew
Muslim
Agnostic
Atheist

I am America
Master
Slave
Rich
Poor
Divided

I am America
Capitalist
Socialist
Environmentalist
Activist
Survivalis­t

I am America
Weak
Strong
Freedom
Dysfunction
Uncertain

I am America
Diverse
Tolerant
Racist
Hate
Love

I am America
So it is written
Natural born
Inalienable rights
Created equal
I am you

I was doing what I do and didn’t do it right
And I muttered something off-color
It wasn’t anything I’d said in a while
But it was so natural like I was its mother
I suddenly remembered what it was
It wasn’t anything that I need to explain
But for me it was a sign of how nothing is really over
Everything that ever touched me lives in my brain
A habit now precious to me suddenly appeared
It was so trivial on the day of its birth
Yet this child reminded me of my friend
And he lived in this moment though he left this earth
Where are you my friend?
We lived together
We talked and broke bread
You painted scenes with your minds feather
Then they called me
The loner made everything real
It was your final act
You killed the thief that lived to steal
Your mind
Your happiness
Your worth
Even your sadness
It would not let you be
There was no rest
Joy was an explosion
Sad was death
You couldn’t live with us
You tried to tell me the sickness
Life was only a curse
But a man must hide his weakness
To die was the only way
There was no time for our hearts to beat
You touched my life but you will never know
But as I see the stars, one day I hope our eyes will meet

What is it you are trying to prove?
I’m not sure you even know
Who are you, really?
Maybe you should start there
Before my mind begins to take control

Are you so susceptible
To another person’s weaknesses?
We don’t even know each other
And already you have lost
There is nothing behind your aliases

Where is your disgust?
Why have you not summoned the necessary levels of disdain?

To find yourself
You must first **** me
**** everything about me
Empty the cup
Break the cup
And walk away

Can you not cleanse your mind?
Can you not build the anger necessary to walk alone?

Anger not
To hurt
Anger not
To hate

Change from within must come from without
Without influence
Without fear
Without hesitation
Without need
Without a past

Change for you must come from you
Who you are
What you are

No matter the reflection of your past
And the echo of familiar voices
Walk alone
Until the day you turn around
And see your inspiration in those making the same choices

Were you really alive?
My emotions tell me so
I stare and wonder
Why I need to know
I see a stranger's grave
But I’ve never seen yours
They told me you died
But instead I pray over hers
The dream of your life
Intertwined with my own
And hers with ours
All etched in stone
A simple epitaph
You were here
She was there
And I stand near
Who cried over her
As I cried over you?
Does anyone remember?
I wonder who
As does she
Her flowers need water
From either you or me
And yet I wilt
Even as I live
With simmering remorse
Because I cannot give
To you or her
Or those who loved
The two of you
And what of things unresolved
About her place
And yours
In my life
And how it obscures
Any meaning I may have carried
From that fateful day
When I was told
Your own hand took your life away
And brought me here
To this place
To learn of her
While imagining your face
Who loved her
As I loved you?
You were my friend
This will always be true
Even as time has separated us
But your presence
And the feeling you are there
Is here in her essence
In how she reaches me
And how I long
To know her
But is it so wrong
To place vicarious sorrow
Upon her shores
To use her life
To remember yours?
Will she
Rise up
Out of the ground
To fill my cup
With her love
For deliverance
By me to you
So that for once
The memories
That were buried with you
And with her
Will come into view
For all to see
As I bridge
The gap
And acknowledge
That the story
You both now weave
Lives in my mind
While I grieve
For you
And for her
And for those
Who cry as they remember

I’m aware of so many things
But it’s my choice to be sure or hesitant
I know I could pierce my ear for Sunday nights only
I wonder if it would make me seem more militant

we can talk at a party
what you don’t know
what I don’t say
it all depends

I decided how I look is only good for a few minutes
Then our minds take over racing past our eyes
The soft sidewalk exists if you let it carry you
Take off your shoes, smile a lot, don’t tell lies

we can talk in a bar
what I don’t know
what you don’t say
it all pretends

I do have so many doubts
But it’s my choice to let them get to me
Sometimes a headache is a relief from life
It forces me to stop thinking about the things I see

we can talk in a park
what I already know
what you already said
it almost ends

I decided how you look is good for a long time
I’m sorry if you need more but its where we start
You look interesting enough, especially your style
I wonder what you’ll be like after I break your heart

we can talk on a phone
what I already said
what you already know
it almost begins

There is no canyon wider than that carved
by the ocean; there is no river longer than
that fed by melting snow-capped mountains;
there is no waterfall that falls furthest than
that which bridges the marriage of peaks
and valleys; there is no life beyond death
than that remembered forever by giving
it to save another; and there is no hole
deeper in the soul than that which cannot
be filled by the blood of a heart that digs
endlessly with the broken hands of a father
when he is apart from his daughter

Something took your place
There was despair, now I pray for grace
I let it get away from me
The memory I left behind won’t let me be
There was a time when I was so unafraid
Now I can only think about mistakes
Instead of thinking about someone new

Something took my place
I’m getting nowhere, I’m losing the race
I can no longer see
The vision I am chasing doesn’t recognize me
There was a time when I would have stayed
Now I only think about what keeps me awake
And the time I thought I was in love with you

Bending time
You don’t have to understand
Someone else already figured it out
Ninety years ago
How’d he do it?
It doesn’t matter
But you can do it
If you slow down
Do not live in the future
Each day must not be wasted
Live inside each moment
Do not look over their shoulder
Do not act impatient
Tomorrow will come
For what is haste other than time without feeling

Bending space
It’s something you can understand
If you think about ***** and elastics
Ninety years ago
He did it
But does it matter?
But you can do it
It’s where you walk
It’s what you keep
You effect everyone around you
You push them away
But it is your light that creates space
For in darkness is loneliness
And vision is no longer depth
For what is blindness other than space ignored

Bending love
If you want to understand
The trajectory is effected by the heart
Today
You can do it
And it does matter
It is a gift
But you must draw it near
You cannot wait
You must let them know
It is a risk to let them know
Use your eyes and your smile
In time the space between you will change
Though all you need is within
For what is love other than a heart with a soul

You’d never know’d I was rich
It’s not that I am
But I always seem to have a dollar in my pocket
And a glass left from last night’s bottle

If it ain’t aged it aint’ no good
Neither you and neither me
We learned some things along the way
How to love is all that’s left to do

It’s good to surprise yourself
You leave it on the shelf
And the money builds on itself
But love don’t feel like waiting
No it don’t
No it don’t

I say you’re mine
It’s not how long we were together
Time don’t care how long it lasts
But I sure do
It’s a lifetime of you always remember

It’s good to surprise yourself
You leave it on the shelf
And the money builds on itself
But love don’t feel like waiting
No it don’t
No it don’t

The way it’s rainin’
It’s just like forgettin’
Pain that lasted a lifetime
Because it was swept away by your love

The way it’s rainin’
It’s just like rememberin’
Love still works
When you decide to let it in

It’s rainin’
Like never before
Summer can wait
For as long as it takes
For the rain
To bring you to my door

An old creek bed still knows what to do
You just have to give it what it needs
You can let your heart dry up
Or let it rain and see where it leads

It’s rainin’
Like never before
Summer can wait
For as long as it takes
For the rain
To bring you to my door

The way it’s rainin’
It’s just like livin’
In her garden
With flowers she planted long ago

So what are we doing, falling in love?
I feel the chains of my life fading away
I never knew another heart’s calling
Could ever draw me near this way

I only told you one time how I felt
There’s no expectation, no game to play
I wanted you to know, there was love
Walking around your life, ready to say

I’m not worried about telling you these things
It’s not easy hearing such a surprise today
You never thought it, life had already chosen
I didn’t expect you to follow as I walked away

Your dream paradise can wake up now
Between the time you laugh and pray
The spirit that we hold with both hands
Is more than just a glimpse of love today

Who loves life more than those who have no riches
Except for their children who have to be taught to be sad?
Who weeps more for a poor man who perishes
Except for the woman whose heart beat is all he had?

Or is it a man who has too much to lose?

Who loves the land more upon which they wander
Except those who know others do not value their worth?
Who weeps more than those risking their lives crossing a river
Except ancestors sleeping in graves already erased from this earth?

Or is it a man who owns the land with all the rules?

Who loves their children more than those who have nothing to give them
Except for those who do not ask them to glorify their parents?
Who weeps more for the offspring who must learn to be men and women
Except for those who teach them how life does not give always give presents?

Or is it a man whose children do not have holes in their shoes?

Who loves the sun, moon and the stars that await them each morning
Except those who claim them because they are the chosen ones?
Who loves the silent force inside that compels a smile instead of mourning
Except those who allow the spirit to be strong until their judgment day comes?

Or is it a man who knows it is between Jesus or riches that he must choose?

In her mind’s eye she saw God walking towards her
So sure of it she began to give him all the glory
Life to her became a game of lost and found
She believed even though men wrote the story

“Follow me,” she said, “I know the ways of the Lord”
She had chosen her path and now wished to tell
She loved me so much she cried over my soul
She said, “The road you’re on surely leads to hell”

My spirit cries for an answer
But the birds always fly away as the roots dig deeper
They are unsure of branches that sway in the wind
They thirst for the brook of desire ****** by the Lord’s keeper

The eyes of the sun rise each day with renewed hope
Tempting me with wide-eyed assurance
In the mind of a zealot there are no more questions
The answers have been chosen for deliverance

The voices of the past continue to haunt our thoughts
Yet the dead remain mute leaving us with our own cries
We read their words and wait for a stillborn prophecy’s birth
As the day ends the sun laughs through our burnt eyes

The floor rises as each page is ripped from the book of life
She silently watches as I open the dam of my own desires
What piper can play two songs when only one can be heard?
We await the decision as we choose the one our heart requires

Can I ever believe
What I cannot see?
Can I ever see
What I cannot hear?
Can I ever hear
What I cannot feel?
Can I ever feel
What I cannot believe?
Should I take my own life
Because I am doomed?
What life is it
That is a journey for the ******?



Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona.

It is our consciousness that lives alone
That is why I stare into your eyes
I wonder about you and if you are the same as I
Beyond our chanting
And our place between Kings and beggars

Is my mission to avoid death
Or just the mere thought of it

So I begin where delusion has led me to a new world
And yet I do not risk my life
I am no mariner crossing vast oceans
That would be remind me too much of death
And yet acquiring breadfruit is enough to circumnavigate my fate

The pleasantness of why we are here is the story we write
Our purpose must be believed
Whether we find it or not
What is good and evil are equal in the sight of a mortal man
He cannot conquer one or the other
He can only hope to find solace and joy in humility
In the building of a home
Or the love of a child
For honor beyond that only becomes tinder for his own glory

Am I so far evolved from lions
Dignity
Strength
Courage
Unquestioned worth
I see it in their pride
I am only able to reason the things they do not care to ponder

But there was a man
His greatness unquestioned
He was unafraid to die
So much that he risked his life everyday
Each new day a blessing
A chance to save mankind
To remind them that the path is peace
Not power
Every bone was broken
But not his soul
That was their mistake
For every blow sounded the drum
And God heard it well
And though the dove could not find him
Still he knew
In him he was well pleased

There were many men
But so too were there women
Waiting for freedom
Waiting in line
For the men came first
And they admired them
They knew who must accept the blows
And though they lived apart
A warrior loves unconditionally
And she knew he would die for her
As he would die for his people
It was enough to know these things

That is how they lived

That is how they lived

That is how they lived

That is how they lived

In mourning always
They knew they were part of a funeral procession
They took turns as pall bearers for their past
They learned to laugh with honor
And cry long enough to live again
For as no storm lives forever
No heart can be broken that is willing to heal itself

If only I knew how

What flaw exists
In the presence of your incredible smile?
What blemish exists
In the presence of your creations?
What loneliness exists
In the presence of your children's love?
What fear exists
In the presence of God's revelations?
You know the answer
Breathe
You are beautiful

Go ahead and flip it
It doesn’t matter to me
I’ve lived on both sides
In calm waters and stormy seas

People call heads or tails
And watch their fate in the air
It could be right or wrong
It could be here or there

Give me both sides
Because that’s how I live
There’s no reason not to be real
I take as much as I give

People can’t make up their mind
The change how they think and look
They want the yin and the yang
It’s something they read in a book

I cross the tracks every day
With pride and without shame
No matter where I stand
I always feel the same

Give me both sides
Because that’s how I live
Do you think you can be real
If they show you how to forgive?

White and black living separate
One with hope the other desperate
A baby has to be taught to know its place
Why can’t we be human instead of just a race?

Give me both sides
Because that’s how I live
It’s time for us to be real
I wonder if you will forever misgive