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 May 2015 ylruceiram
Claude McKay
Your words dropped into my heart like pebbles into a pool,
Rippling around my breast and leaving it melting cool.

Your kisses fell sharp on my flesh like dawn-dews from the limb,
Of a fruit-filled lemon tree when the day is young and dim.

But a silence vasty-deep, oh deeper than all these ties
Now, through the menacing miles, brooding between us lies.

And more than the songs I sing, I await your written word,
To stir my fluent blood as never your presence stirred.
Your words are more than gold
Your smile is greater than silver
You sent me a morning gift
I will always keep in my heart
It's your love that makes me alive
Your gift, your love--
My life
Thank you for the love.
to my darling who feels she's not:
our separation is mere illusion.
truly, your pain strikes me as i write this;
your sensations of abandonment,
and the decisiveness they have caused,
bleed from my skin into the fibers of my clothes.
i am no longer clean.
i do not feel pure.

to my severed arm and shortened tendons:
destruction is merely another side of life.
out of disappearance comes all things-
without space, there would be nothing to contain us,
nothing to allow and enfold our beings' spirits,
and they would sputter and cease like my love's flame.
i am no longer yours.
i do not feel full.

to the farthest star that my eyes can see:
your light reaches me- i glimpse you!
in the perceived emptiness between us
there is no distance to be found;
around us exists the infinite potential for
further connection and deeper growth in closeness.
i am no longer alone.
i do not feel sorrow.
Am I the only one that has their demons feasting upon their souls?
They say it is easy to tie a noose around your mind,
To overcome the urges and temptations of ending your life with a suicide
They don't know the true pain and torment that is going on in my head
An epic battle that leaves me with restless nights in bed
"End your life already" they say, as they prey on me during my weakest hours
Sometimes I give into the voices, carrying the sharp blade to my wrist
Crying as I struggle to mutter three powerful words that keeps me going
Choking on my sobs, my lungs deflate with a desire to say that God loves me
I try to convince myself that God is trying to test my faith
And to just wait, wait and wait
Then my Demons will eventually go AWAY.....



~Imperfect Desire **
 Feb 2015 ylruceiram
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Untitled
 Feb 2015 ylruceiram
Blank
She didn't want
to let go
because
She wanted
to stay.
He wanted to let go
because
He didn't like her that way.

It was his choice
but
she never agreed.
But
If he stayed,
she'll get hurt
everyday.

Maybe it's true
that you have
to let go
of the things that once hurt you
so that
you can see
the things
that will endlessly make you happy.
you to me are everything
the greatest thing
life may ever bring.

your smile could light up
thousands of homes,
and your existence
makes me whole.

i just wish i could be your everything,
just as you are to me.
just a simple one **
 Feb 2015 ylruceiram
Pride Ed
you were the veins
at my throat;

roots
protruding through
diaphonized
lungs;

pain on display
pickled, prodded,
left…

a hanger for dust
galvanized no more.
 Feb 2015 ylruceiram
bluestarfall
A year ahead, a year passed by,
The doors are still opened, and the ponds are still dry,
You did say you loved me, you did say goodbye,
Our irrevocable commitments proved promises are a lie.

Its the night recalling the showers in the springs,
And the weekend waltz to the attuned strings,
You revolve around me today, with your name engraved within,
Stop hiding from me, so long where have you been?

But for a second i believed..
As the gush of wind whispered your name,
The clock is ticking beside our picture frame,
You're flowing like the river,in your gown , camouflaging blue,
Lined up a lot of work, I still got seconds for you.
There is always a line between holding on and letting go.The proof is that we are constantly pulled by it.
My best poem'll be my suicide note
the very last thing I ever wrote
a goodbye to those who don't even care
but those I love, because life's unfair.
But this ain't it it's not good enough
but I swear one day I write the right stuff
and it'll be goodbye to the whole world
and so comes the darkness, black wings unfurled
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