I love him
I know I do
He doesn't love me
He doesn't know me
I want him to
I want to open up to him
To bloom for him like a rose
But he doesn't see me
He looks at me no
He looks through me like
I am glass
For a moment though
I swear he sees me wants me needs me
He reaches out to touch me
I hold my breathe
He stops he shakes his head
I am gone I was a mirage
I am not real to him
I love him
I want his love
I cannot have it
He doesn't see/want/need/love me
Please.
I beg silently.
Give me a chance.
To love you. To be loved by you.
He doesn't hear. He doesnt see.
I am not real. I love him.

The rain would be more wet
If it was like my tears

The ocean would be more chaotic
If it was like my soul

Anaesthesia would be more numb
If it was like my heart

camera negatives would be more blurry
If they were like my thoughts

The icebergs would be colder
If they were like my feelings

Torture would be more painful
If it was how I live

time
fast/slow
calm/hectic
quiet/loud
I realize it is leaving
I chase it
it escapes
I run
I fall
it doesn't stop
for me to get up
it runs faster/faster/faster
I can't catch up
I lose time
I run out of

time

I wanted to write/type/say
exactly how/what/why
I felt
but somehow
the paper/screen/air/mouth
stayed pure and empty
somehow it could not
have described it
any better

ah.
the smell of it
of salt and sand
there is no
elixir on this
good/tragic /blessed
earth like it