why can't i stop ruining it for everyone?

why can't i just **** it up and deal with it like everyone else?

who is this?
who is she?
who are they?
i don't know this person,
i don't look like that do i?
my arms, my stomach,
my hair, my face, my thighs,
what is it all?
why don't i look okay for once?

it isn't fair,
not fair at all,
i'm fed up of trying to look pretty,
fed up of meeting standards,
my body is keeping my heart beating,
is capable of carrying and nursing a child,
my body is amazing and that'll never change,

even if my clothes are tight,
even if my face doesn't look like theirs,
even if i can't wear the same things,
even if my skin is darker than theirs,
even if i can't pull off the same hair cut they do,

i am me,
i am myself,
i am here to show what i am capable of,
and no-one, no matter how hard they try, will stop me,
i am beautiful,

we are all beautiful.

-lilac

yes or no
  ☐        ☐  


it's your fault my friends are worried about me,
no, it's my fault, i asked, but you answered,
the wrong answer,
not even a proper answer,
i feel so toxic, i feel ***** in a way,
i miss you, i miss us,
i want to cry again, im holding it in,
it hurts.


yes or no
☐        ☒

red,

hot,

pinpricks of heat strike my skin,
flinching, crying out,

burnt,

ouch.