This happiness is a drop in my ocean of contempt.

I thought I changed into another person,
But I hadn't.
I had just become a better version.

She is my escape from reality; my gift of joy.

My anger is my nuclear fallout
It's what is killing me and choking me out
It's not only sabotaging who I am
But all those around me have faced the slam

The concussion blast of this vicious mood
Unable to control myself, only to know I'm *******
I can only sit and watch like a movie on display
What actions I take and the horrific things I say

These words reach out to those I have wronged
To those situations I only prolonged
These words are not a justification
These words are for you to have relation

This is my apology for what I could not control
I have gotten better and will never let this take me whole.

May the pain we feel, be the growth we reveal.

I'm in complete disarray.
My life is in shambles and there is no return I say.
I'm a wanderer of my own cataclysmic oblivion.
Though I see all the doors, but escape is one in a million.
I'm pulverized by my past mistakes.
My soul is burdened and morose, are there any retakes?
But life is not a quiz, but a lesson to learn.
If you can gather the knowledge, will happiness return?
I'm in a constant state of bewildered frustration.
I need another dose and a recalibration.
Someday I will escape from my own mind.
But it's the answers and hopes that are scattered within, that I must find.