Now, there was this kid,
Never felt good enough,
No matter what he did.
Felt like he was a burden, a hindrance,
Always in the way,
No tears with his disappearence.
He learnt how to hide this,
Put on a smile, and hide the sadness,
They weren't theirs, only his.
He got his first chest hair,
And his first thoughts of ending,
But they wouldn't care.
He told himself everytime,
Keep on the mask,
Let them know you're fine.
He fpund and loved his first,
And she never knew,
That love was the worst.
He went in too deep,
He either loved 100% or felt nothing,
Never a step, a leap.
He learnt how to control,
With the help of doctors,
He put the darkness in a hole.
He went on to find another,
This time this love made him grow,
Not just a girlfriend, a lover.
He became a man, with a beard,
Made mistakes,
Learnt what he feared.
When she left, he knew,
He can't be alone,
Thats when the darkness grew.
Sleepless nights, and tiresome days,
The darkness crept back,
Falling into his old ways.
On top of a building site,
He looked down at his future,
He had given up the fight.
Placed his belongings on the ledge,
Stepped up,
Toes hanging off the edge.
He closed is eyes, tears down his face,
The fake smile beaming,
Release will be at the base.
He didnt fall forward like planned,
He fell backwards,
Face buried in hand.
Lets try again, step to the line,
This time he'll do it,
But he hesitated thia time.
A text. His phone flashing away.
"Where you at you *******?"
Typical thing his friend would say.
He had a surge of relief, a sigh,
A change of mind.
He still doesnt really know why.
A few months passed,
The darkness still in control.
Will this ever end he'll ask.
He looked hollow at sight,
He wore a smile, but it was clear to see,
His closest asked if he was alright.
I'm okay, he said. Everytime he lied.
He took every pill he had,
Fell on his side.
The luck he had, that awkward fall,
His body rejected his attempt,
He knew he was a fool.
Felt **** for days,
No sleep still,
Self torture in different ways.
Then something happened, a click,
He needed to live, he needed help,
He was just sick.
He made a decision,
To help others,
He had a vision.
To use his experience as a guide,
To help others in need,
To be there for them, far and wide.
The darkness lost its hold,
And he found a new love,
He felt warmth, not just the cold.
Years went by, living a happy life,
Yes he had ups and downs,
But he felt strong with her, through all their strife.
Yet, again, the darkness creeps in,
Slowly getting stronger,
On its way to win.
He is confused. Why now?
His life isnt perfect, but still,
He doesn't know why or how.
Its different. He familiar with its ways,
He still hides it well,
But you can see it in his gaze.
He knows he needs to talk.
Take action slowly and in time,
No need to run before you can walk.
He won't let it win,
He's got too much to live for,
He knows he needs to destroy the darkness within.
I know this story too well,
I know it because he is me.
This is my story to tell.
Please, if you can relate,
Talk. Let it out.
A doctor, family, a mate.
Or me. A complete stranger to you.
I'm always here,
I'm always here its true.
Just talk.
This one is a bit of a mess. I got caught up in the moment and ranted. Its a bit raw. Kinda forced at times maybe. Either way, the message stands.