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Once again my friend,
I am put second to everything,
I can't help but feel unwanted,
As if I dont mean a thing,
An unwanted rain cloud,
In a photographers summer scene,
Beans on toast, topped with cheese,
When she wants fine french cuisine,
I am put second, as usual,
Noone initially thinks of me,
Unless they've thought of everything else,
Because anything else is better, you see?
I wrote this when I felt as if those who were closest to me weren't even considering me
We've been there through life's sorrow and pain

But together we have always endured the strain

We've argued and bickered and made each other mad

But if you weren't my sister, life would be so sad

We've cried till we laughed and laughed till we cried

Sometimes for no reason we didn't even know why

When we're not together our bond is just as strong

We are brother and sister we know when something is wrong

We've whispered our deepest secrets only we could share

I love my sister dearly because she really cares

So whether we are together or we are far apart

Alana, you're my sister, my friend and forever in my heart.
I wrote this for my younger sister, Alana, for her 18th
I would give all I have to have you with me,
To see tomorrow with you,
To touch and hold the one thing dear to me,
I would climb the highest mountains,
I would swim the widest oceans,
Closed my eyes and be blinded by your love,
Trusting in you to lead my way,
I would give all I had for you,
To love you and be loved in return,
To adore you, and be adored in return,
I would give my all to be with you,
To make the memories of yesterday forever,
To see me and you in the future.
Come whatever,
I would give all I have for you,
Lay down my life for you,
To sacrifice my soul for your pardon,
I would give all I have for you,
Be it to travel to the ends of the earth,
To catch the falling stars out of the skies above,
I would give all,
To hear you say the words I so needed to hear,
The word that would heal my broken heart,
The words that means the entire world to me,
To hear you say "I love you",
And look into your eyes knowing you meant it,
For I would give all I have in life for you,
For you gave me all I have in life,
And without you, I have nothing
**** the world, and life,

Along with everything you taught me,

Nothing you said would happen will happen,

Nothing will be how it ought to be,

The good guy will always come last,

Broken hearted and dead,

Whilst everyone else is happy,

With the ******* that they're fed,

This middle fingers aimed straight at you,

For telling me everything will be okay,

For telling me always and forever,

You knew it would never be that way,

I put my whole soul into to you,

Put my dreams there with yours,

But you threw my heart out in the rain,

And locked all the ******* doors,

Now my life is empty,

Nothing but ******* left for me,

Just another empty shell,

A failure for the world to see.
This is an angry poem, and exactly how I feel right now.
No wonder you fell out of love with me,
This pathetic mess that I've become.
I wish I was anyone else in the world right now,
Anyone.
All I gave you was love,
I gave you my everything,
And you gave me back the same,
For you I would do anything.
Yet, you throw me away,
Reduced me to nothing but this,
A man with no motivation,
No inspiration, falling in to the abyss.
I still think of you,
Every single moment,
My life is in pieces,
And you're my missing component.
I can't explain this feeling,
Emptiness, for lack of words,
I no longer see the sun,
Or hear the chirps of the birds.
I just exist, in this loneliness of mine,
Like I said before, emptiness, is all I feel,
I'm still waiting to wake up,
Surely this can't be real...
You look so beautiful today,
Stunningly perfect in everyway,
Today’s just like any other day,
Let me hold you as you lay,
In my heart you’ll forever stay.

My heart beats strong when we’re together,
Next to you I wanna be forever,
I’ll come running to you whenever,
Just give the word, I’ll do whatever,
For my heart is yours forever.

No matter what you do,
I will always be true,
I will always belong to you,
I don’t want anyone new,
Just you, this you knew.

You put me under some sort of control,
You have my heart, you are my soul,
Since we split, my hearts been a hole,
It has become cold, turned black like coal,
It’s sat there, waiting to become once again whole.
"Are you okay?"
Thats what I ask,
"Yup u?" is your reply,
Texts, they hide you like a mask.

I can't tell with texts,
If you're lying or not,
If you wern't okay,
Would you tell me or not?

I want be there,
To ask you the same,
"Are you okay?"
"I'm glad you came"

I could hold you close,
And hold you tight,
Together we'll conquer the world,
We'll win this fight.

No matter what the future holds,
I will be there for you,
If you'll let me,
I promise this is true.
When I text a certain someone who is very close to my heart, all I ever get is 'Yup, you? x' and this frustrates me
As I lay here,
Never have I felt so alone.
No one wanting me,
Not even a text on my phone.
I keep looking at it,
Shall I text to say hello?
Or should I leave it,
And hope the feeling will go.
I hear your voice,
When the silence becomes too much,
Telling me everything you used to,
When our lips used to touch.
I smell your aroma,
As I lay here in disbelief,
My eyes tear a little,
No sense of relief.
I'm so lost,
I can see the way home,
I'm just clutching onto hope,
As I lay here, so alone.
You're so beautiful,
With your long constant colour changing hair,
You take your time with people,
To show you really care.
You speak with your soft voice,
You embrace with your loving arms,
You make everyone smile,
With your beauty and charms.

You're a rose,
Which my hand is clenched to,
It hurts me so much,
The blood pours true,
I won't let go though,
My soul wont let me,
My body is incomplete with out you,
My life is empty, can't you see?

I need your love,
Your kiss, your touch,
I need you,
I miss you so much,
I can't go a day,
Without you running through my mind,
I may be fighting a dead cause,
But they say Love is blind.
I shouldn't care,
But it cuts me deep,
To cut me off completely,
In one leep.
I can no longer check,
To see if you're okay,
It's probably for the best,
It'll be okay one day.
I just wish things were different,
I wish I wasn't such a ****,
First time I ever ****** up,
Didn't think it'll be like that.
I'd do anything to take back the words I said,
To those who shouldn't know,
But I didn't think,
My guilt suffocates as it grows.
Even though I'm moving on,
And the relationship is going well,
I still love you, but I don't want you,
I'm in some kind of hell.
I just want you back,
Just as a friend ,
You know everything about me,
This relationship, we can mend.
I don't want you,
I know that much for real,
I just can't leave us broken,
My wounds are to deep to heal.
People change.
Not necessarily a bad change, but still,
Feelings, wants and needs,
Effect the algorithm, if you will.

Suttle changes to them,
May hit ****** hard to you,
Doesn't stop them caring,
But it can still feel painful, true.

You may crave for them to go back,
Back to the way it was before,
You can try and forget too,
You might even crave them more.

Sometimes personal situations,
And their own hardships are to blame,
Your might too,
But you want them back all the same.

Sometimes its hard to question,
And ask what has changed between us,
But you don't want to fracture what you have now,
Don't want to cause a fuss.

Chemistry.
The complex emotional or psychological interaction between individuals,
Some times the results a great,
Sometimes you mess up the concoction, unintentional.
Sometimes I just wish, I could run away and hide.
No matter where I go though, these feelings stay inside.
How can I stay here & live each day a lie,
When all I want to do is close my eyes & die?
I see the pain I cause you, with every tear I shed.
I plead with you now, let me go instead?
Can I ask for your forgiveness? For you to set me free,
It may seem ungrateful, but this life's not meant for me.
Thank you for all your love, for all the time we shared,
It means the world to me, to know that someone cared
How am I the one in the wrong?
I just don't understand,
When you were the one who kiiled us?
Left me unable to stand.
You stabbed me in the heart,
And you twisted the knife,
You took away everything,
I live an empty life.
I prepared my life around your wants and needs,
And I was still happy, I was,
I loved you for everything you were,
I even loved you flaws.
I still do love you,
And I miss you so much too,
I always will,
Long after this life is through.
You have no idea what you're doing to me,
Have you ever devoted you life to someone,
Who just threw it away?
I don't wish this pain on anyone.
I hurt so much,
But then the pain turns to emptiness,
Then the emptiness, not filled, but consumed,
By lonliness.
I except eveything,
All the problems we may face,
Yet you ran straight away,
This isn't a race.
Just come back to me and talk,
We'll talk about you and me,
We were happy, and we will be,
Just come back, you'll see.
You stay on my mind
Every night and day
and sometimes I even feel you
in every single way

You are everything to me
and you do not seem to know
that you are my heart, body, and soul
and I just can't let you go

I go through life everyday
having thoughts of only you
I wonder that if you saw me
what exactly would you do

Would you scream and shout my name
or would you turn away
and would I even know
that you saw me that day

I wonder would you hug me
or would you simply say hello
and turn and walk away
saying I really have to go

I think about the times we had
and what we used to do
the times I walked you home
and things that we went through

I was just sitting here thinking
about what you mean to me
all the things that we were
and all the things that we could be

I just prayed to God
to bring you back to me
because I know I love you
and I think about you constantly
Trying to sleep but my eyes open wide
With voices whispering from every side,
Battles in my mind and nowhere to hide,
a futile resistance against the rising tide.

Thought after thought taunting my soul,
As this constant barrage takes its toll,
Eating away slowly now a gaping hole,
My mind going crazy and out of control.

I know not why I cannot rest,
Thoughts of random is all I possess,
A decent nights sleep, and I'll be blessed,
5 minutes and I'm unimpressed.

I always loose the fight to sleep,
I've counted every last ******* sheep,
Watched them 'baa' as they leap,
Watch them land in a heap.

I give up, I might as well,
Just leave my sleeplessness to dwell,
Bid my dreams farewell,
Cos everynight I'm met with hell...
Have You ever loved someone
But knew they didn't care?
Have You ever felt like crying
But Knew you'd get no where?

Have you ever looked into their eyes
And said a little prayer?
Have you ever looked into their hearts
And wished that you were there?

Have you ever felt their heartbeat,
When the lights were turned down low?
Have you ever whispered "I love You"
But you'll never let me show?

Love is grand, yet it hurts so much.
The price you pay is high.
If I could choose between Love and Death,
I'd rather choose to die.

So do not fall in love, my friend,
It doesn't pay a dime.
It only causes broken hearts,
Yet it happens all the time.

So do not fall in love, my friend,
You'll hurt before it's through.
I ought to know, my friend -
I fell in love with you.
How did you get so pretty?
And to control my heart?
Ardent feelings explode, really,
I can feel them start.

Pretty girl,
Beautiful lady,
Open to me,
Don’t be shady.

Pretty baby,
Beautiful lover,
Hold my hand,
A second longer.

Darling girl from space,
You fell from above,
Into my life to be,
Filled with love.

Sweet loving girl,
I die for you all day,
To bring you to my world,
And find a truer way.

I think of you with every scent,
In the steam of the morning heat,
Among the flowers that don’t bend,
And within my every beat.

Darling say yes to me,
When I come to you with nothing but love,
Take me and hold me,
Don’t push and shove
I wrote this about 2 months after I first met my now ex.
Future?
What future?
******* to the future,
For it doesn't exist.
The past does,
And so does the present,
People who say they can see it,
Well, they must be ******.

We make the future,
We do,
Not fate or destiny,
We make it our own,
We make it everyday,
With bare hands,
Working them to the bone.

Who are you to say,
That there is no future for us?
We have all the foundations,
We gotta take it day by day to build,
We have no plans,
We dont need them,
'Cos we can change, altar and rebuild.

I don't see myself,
Being a millionaire or a star,
But who's gonna stop me?
Just me.
Only I can stop myself,
Like you can only stop your future,
But we will have a future,
If you'll let it be.
I wrote this when my now ex, told me she doesn't see a future
As I lay in my bed, I think of you,
The way you do the things you do,
Nothing in particular, just you in general,
Nothing great, except you, to me you’re special.

How do you do it? Look stunning all the time?
You may think different, but you always look fine,
I look into your eyes, and fall into a dream,
If you felt how I feel, then you’ll know what I mean.

You’re an amazing friend, one I want forever,
I’ve known you for a few years, since back whenever,
But I want you to become more than a friend,
But scared you’ll disagree and make our friendship end.

I don’t know what to do, I love you so much,
But scared about the future, and afraid to touch,
Please show me something, some sort of sign,
I want to be yours, and you to be mine.

I’ll treat you as if you were a Queen, my Queen,
Protect you from all the evil and obscene,
Be there for you whenever you call my name,
Make sure you only feel amazing, never any pain.

Please let me know how you feel, give me your views,
Please let me know, because it’s you I choose,
Forever here for you, fulfil your every command,
I will be invincible with you, hand in hand.
Happy birthday Yasmin, my precious friend,
My love for you, I wish to extend.
Experiences filled, with joy and laughter,
Special memories, we shall recall after.

From the beginning, you made me smile,
Accepted me, without any trial.
Never judged or jumped to conclusions,
Exciting friendship; random infusions.

I cannot ask, for anything more,
So many things, I simply adore.
Hope this birthday never ends,
In my heart, time transcends.

No more fake I.D, you’re legal to go clubbing at last,
All the worry of getting in, left in the past.
So Happy 18th Birthday, my special friend,
Good times await us, just round the bend.
I wrote this for my old friends 18th
I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts,
or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will
search for answers.

I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,
nor the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you,
and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship,
from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,
room to be yourself.

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces
and put them back in place.

I can't tell you who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend.
This was written with few close friends in mind when I was asked for opinions/advice
I don't hate you for not loving me anymore,
but I hate myself for still loving you.
I assure that every word in this,
Every single one, is true.
I love you so ******* much,
And I'm clinging on to hope,
But I'm starting to loose the will to live,
I've already tied my rope.
I probably won't do it,
I'll stop myself in the final seconds,
But death is constantly tempting,
"Come to me" he beckons,
I don't hate you for not loving me anymore,
But I hate myself, for everything I'm not,
Karma gave me all the bad luck,
I'm due some back, I guess she forgot.
I'm not the man I used to be,
I was improved by our passion,
I was smelted from our love,
Our happiness, and our compassion.
I will always be here,
Waiting for you to come back,
I'll be living my life, just not fully,
Because a reason is what I lack.
I used to have a reason, you,
But you're no longer there,
Just a scar on my heart,
Of which I'm proud to wear,
I don't hate you for not loving me anymore,
But I hate myself, for hating you,
I've somehow turned this pain into hate,
But this hate isn't real, just an attempt to pull through.
I will never hate you, I have nothing but love for you,
But this love is killing me, its tearing me apart,
Let me show you how to fall in love again,
Let me take you back to the start?
Today I thought of you,
Everytime I close my eyes,
This happens everyday,
And everytime, my strength dies.

I can't look at myself in the mirror,
Without seeing you,
And when I see you, I break down,
In the past, I flew.

I've lost my princess,
I've lost my inspiration,
My life has lost reason,
My life has no direction.

I can't put my thoughts into this...
My mind is racing with its eyes closed,
My chest is left wide open,
Leaving my scared, dead heart exposed...

I feel dead...
If these walls could talk,
you'd know my body is dead,
my mind has been taken over,
that's why I am so scared,
I can't control it,
anger is making me blind,
I've been left here on my own
chained to a hate of some kind.
If these walls could talk.

If these walls could talk,
you'd know about my fears,
about all those nights I screamed for help,
about all my fallen tears.
You'd know about the demons
haunting me at night,
you'd be able to help me
keep my fire alight,
if these walls could talk.
You don't know how I'm feeling.
I have yet to vocalize
Desire deep inside me.
Can you see it in my eyes?

I tremble when I'm near you
Heat travels up my thighs
and I want you with an urgency
That I just can't describe.

Dare I reach out to touch you?
Do you think you'd realize
How much I want and need you?
Can you see it in my eyes?

I long to say, "I want you,"
But am scared of your reply.
Terrified like a child
I've become paralyzed.

The camouflaged emotions
Lead to pain and silent cries.
And yet I just can't tell you.
Don't you see it in my eyes?

Confessing through this poem
My dilemma summarized.
The feeling's quite cathartic,
But will lead to my demise.
I once had a love,
i thought would never die,
but i found out in the end, that that love was all a lie.
I once had a love,
that I felt could stay,
and though our love was falling apart,i thought we'd find a way.
I once had a love,
but i found did not belong,
and then i found a new love,
that we had all along.
I once had a love,
but it didn't last,
and now that love is only,
a lonely piece of my past.
I'm crying in the dark
Screaming out your name
I don't understand
Either way its all the same
In a cold and desolate land
I can't help how I feel
This love I have
This is so real
This can't be just an illusion
This wasn't all delusion
I can't just let this go
It's one of those things
You just know
When I look at you
And you look at me
I know its true
And you can see
This hurt I am feeling
I'm not the only one
I am revealing
I'm not gonna run
I will lift my voice
Now I have a choice
I know what I want to say
I know what I want to do
I want you more and more each day
I am in love with you.
I'm sick of crying
And sick of denying
I don't know much
But I know we belong together
I crave your kiss your feel your touch
Let me know
Because this pain I feel
I can't let go
This is driving me crazy
I am always and forever yours
I still love you,
As much as I did before,
But my heart is broken,
My heart, into two you tore.

I still think your perfect in everyway,
Although you’ve made stupid mistakes,
I still get all nervous around you,
Still get butterflies and the shakes.

Although you’ve near on killed me,
You’re still the one for me,
I will always love you,
Just wait and see.

You’re always on my mind,
In every query and every thought,
You threw me down,
My heart no one caught.

For it’s yours, yours to keep,
Forever in your hold,
True love lasts forever,
Or so I’m told.

Then why did we split?
For you are the one,
I will always love you,
‘Til my life is done.
I fking hate you.
You always make me see the negatives.
The half empty glass.
You bring me down when I'm in a good place.
You make me procasinate.
Festering on my fat a
.

You get inside my head.
Yet again, thats where you live.
Thats where you were born.
You left me once.
And I felt unstoppable.
I was better, I could have sworn.

Then you came back.
To show you never really left.
To try and take control again.
You make me feel so worthless.
You make me feel unloved.
You give me this excruciating, silent pain.

You will not defeat me.
I ignore the thoughts of death.
I will not do that to me.
I will not do that to my loved ones.
I will defeat you.
I will promise you. You'll see.
As I walk through life,
I look at all I have done.
I had wandered aimlessly,
And wondered what I have become.

I have been through so much,
It is amazing I made it through.
The lessons I have learned
I am shocked I pulled through.

The times I wondered
What life was all about.
The trials experienced in life,
Can make all the good come out.

We try to make it day by day.
Remembering what we were taught.
Just remember some time to pray,
It is important,
We need it every day.

Life can be short.
Unexpected at that.
We try to take its punches,
Just hoping it won't break our back.

Remember who you are,
Who you want to become.
Everything will fall into place,
And the time will come.

Don't forget I love you's,
Every chance you get.
The time maybe short,
There is no time to regret.

Life can be exciting,
As we all have found out.
Eventful, even busy
There is no time to be left out.

Remember who you are,
And Who you want to become.
The time can be short
Don't leave things undone.

Remember your families,
They are the only ones you've got.
To carry you in times of need
They can not be bought.

Remember they love you,
Either here or there.
They will always be with us.
Help for things to bear.
Memories I wish I had,

With you I wanted to make,

Like staying round my flat for the first time,

and watching me blow out 21 on a cake.

Watching my sister get married,

and seeing your first saints game,

Growing old together, I can do it with others,

But it won’t be the same.

The things I had planned,

To sweep you off your feet,

Take you abroad when we’re older,

All my family you’d meet.

All of these thoughts,

Running through my head,

I will carry these thoughts for life,

All the way til I’m dead.

Unless you make my dreams come true,

We can join our dreams together,

We conquer the world, if you take me back,

And once again, Always and Forever.
We used to talk for hours,
Through messages on our phones,
About anything and everything,
Even moans and groans.

We use to chat alot,
Catching gossip and thoughts,
About how hot or cold it was,
And I'm always wearing shorts.

I used to wake to a message,
"Good morning
Was written about a friend who we spoke pretty much everyday for months, about everything and anything. We used to check our phones constantly to see if they had replied or messaged me. But now its like a one way conversation. And its sad. Like we're falling away from each other. Like I've been replaced. Or I'm just over thinking. Probably the latter.
Misery ******* loves me,
She can't let go,
Anywhere, and everywhere,
Her face will show.
She drags me down,
When my life goes good,
She makes me suffer,
To be fair, she should.
I cant get close to many,
But when I do, they'll know,
Cos there wouldnt be any part,
Of my life not on show.
Thoughts and feeling,
Race through my mind,
A place to rest my thoughts,
Are rare to find.
So I'll just carry on,
Doordling through life,
Coming across pain,
And walking hand in hand with strife.
I'd like to tell you
How much I love you,
And I hope you know that I do...
I wish that the words I speak
So gently to you could be
Heard by your heart
With the same meanings
And the same soft feelings of love
That they carry from deep within me.

For more than you know...
I love so many things about you.
More than just the way you hold me
And the warmth you give;
I enjoy sharing life with you.
I enjoy the way we balance each other out,
How we share the good times
And support each other through the tears.
I enjoy the knowledge that we'll make it
Through whatever life brings
With courage and with love
Through the years.

More than you know...
And more than I can ever say,
I feel a wonderful thankfulness
In my heart ... just for you.
And I want you to remember, though
My thoughts don't always convey
And my feelings don't always show,
I love you, and I always will.
More than you’ll ever know.
So once again,
My heartbreaks over something that was only in my head,
But don't ever forget,
I meant every word I should have left unsaid.
You walked away,
As if our love and all we had was nothing,
Yet I fought on,
Cos to me, you, and all you came with, was everything.
I no longer want you,
But you will forever be in my heart,
You're so special to me,
I knew you were from the very start.
Yes I have moved on,
I'm getting on with this life of mine,
I'm no longer being sad,
And no longer just pretending to be fine.
I may not love my new girl,
But we have only just begun,
We may not last,
Yet, she may be the one.
Who knows,
We may be in love once again,
But for now,
I'll think of you every now and then.
Starkle, starkle, little *****,
Who the hell are you I think.
I'm not under what you call
The alcofluence of incohol.
I'm just a little slort of sheep,
I'm not drunk like thinkle peep.
I don't know who is me yet,
But the drunker I stand here the longer I get.
So just give me one more fink to drill my cup,
'Cause I got all day sober to Sunday up.
I hate this place,
For I can't seem to leave,
Wherever I roam,
I'm in this place of grief.
Its paths seem to go on forever,
An infinate corridor of hell,
This place is a curse, a wicked spell,
And into it I fell.

I hate this place,
Even the doctors are confused,
They cant help me,
Or at least they refused.

This place isn't physical,
Yet it follows wherever I roam,
Its a mental state,
And it's my new home.

I no longer sleep,
I no longer feel,
I just exist,
In my loneliness...
I just don't understand,
Just as I was starting to be 'Okay',
Happiness is pulled from me,
I'm not meant to feel this way.

I've started to move on,
I've met someone new,
She hasn't replaced,
Just stops me thinking of you.

I'm not saying we're together,
But she makes me forget the pain,
Hopefully, things keep going well,
And my heart beats again.

But as of now,
I wait with a needle and thread,
To sow my heart back together,
And lock up the pain it once bled.

...******* for the pain you've inflicted,
I don't think you know what you've done,
But no matter what has been,
I still truley believe you're the one.

I hate you,
I love you more,
Even though you stabbed,
And threw my heart on the floor.
I am a king without a crown,
the lost that was never found,
Wealthy, with no money,
I am music with no sound.
A statistic to the government,
Another shadow on the ground,
A pebble on a beach,
Always there, but never around,
I am nothing special,
Just a millionaires spare pound,
I am friendless, yet popular,
I am known, far from renowned.
I want you, I need you, to be here,
I’m not upset, and I’m not in pain,
I’m just not complete,
You being away is just not the same.

Every time I see another female,
I compare her to you,
And every time, I think,
You’re 10 times better, and it’s true.

You make my heart pound,
For it is strong, when you are its keeper.
At first I tripped over love,
Now, I just fall deeper, and deeper.
A kiss of passion,
In a moment’s lapse,
Seems to linger longer,
With a fervent fiery flame,
Burning between our avid lips.

Wrapped up in a romantic nuance;
A feeling never felt,
Never known, never shown,
Never till now,
Under the moon’s radiant glare.

We feel the wind blow smoothly,
As it caresses our cheeks ever so tenderly,
And we embrace the dark night’s sky,
As my head tilts closer to you,
And our eyes meet in a timeless glance,
Before they close and we drift,
Into each other’s hearts.

One heart beat, not two,
Our kiss is the rhythm of a euphonic melody,
That of which can’t be sung,
‘cause the lyrics we cannot fathom.

But I know the song very well,
It’s the tune that will never cease playing,
In my heart,
When I’m with you . . .
I live each day a lie,
A white lie at that,
I'm running up a vertical *****,
Yet act as if its horizontally flat,
I don't want you to see my pain,
Not to save my pride,
But so you don't get upset,
And cry tears you try to hide.

I may have 'moved on',
But my love for you still kills me,
I think of you unless I'm with her,
She stops me from hurting completely,
She knows my pain,
Caresses the wounds and scars,
She releases my heart,
Knocks down the walls and bars.

There's plenty more fish they say,
And I know there are plenty of girls out there,
But are they for me?
I don't particularly care,
There's plenty of fish out there,
Its all they used to say,
I have a great catch,
But you were the one that got away...
I don't know if you can tell, but I broke up with the one I love a few months ago, and now I'm sort of seeing someone else, and she knows everything and knows I still love my ex, but knows I want to move on with her.
Ever since that day
I've hid my heart away
Many have tried but fail to find
The gate is closed I've made up my mind
I can't be the man I used to be
Cause look what love has done to me
I let my guard down and gave it all to you
Never realizing you would be untrue
It's been so long and still I stand
But still I long for the touch of your hand
I'll be strong and keep it all inside
Even if it's just foolish pride
They say it is better to have loved and lost
And I've tried that and paid the cost
So if I have to feel this pain
Just to find a love again
I think I'll let it pass me by
I'll spare the heartache and refuse to try
My heart, forever yours, it bares your name
Labeled, owned, scarred, it’s all the same
I face the world with a smile, no one knows what is hid inside.
They see only happiness, they cant see the tears I've cried.
When I am alone I hurt, because here I do it well.
In front of all the watchful eyes my heaven turns to hell.
The judge and jury awaits me, everyone has a say.
In a life that hangs suspended for yet another day.
Who are they to judge if what I have done is right or wrong?
In the end she gave me up, but inside I still sing her song.
I don't know how to find the strength I thought I had.
If only I could play tough it wouldn't be so bad.
They say that life goes on and someday I'll smile again.
But, how do they know my pain without being where I've been?
I've traveled so far from home, and can't find my way back.
Somewhere along the way I must have jumped the track.
I saw her just today and her smile is still the same.
She looked at me so sweetly, but never spoke my name.
I wonder if she remembers me, It hasn't been that long.
She may have forgotten me, but I still sing her song.
Sometimes I imagine...

Happily sailing through life
you and me walking hand in hand
able to face each problem and strife
experiencing a love that understands

Where I can rest all my anxiety
in your comforting arms
conquer every goal and see victory
and not come across despair or harm

Sometimes I wonder...

If you think about me
and share the same feeling
or am I just a quiet breeze
that comes and goes not affecting

Do you desire the same love
which echoes within my heart
thoughts of me do you just shove
and let my memories depart

Sometimes I just wish...

To be lost in you and in your passion
bathe in your tenderness and rejoice
to drown in the sea of your affection
and float in bliss listening to your voice

Sometimes I miss you and want you here
wishing for much more wishing for you
will you come to know or ever come near
and hold this heart of mine that longs for you..
Stay with me, stay here tonight,
And I’ll fill you with delight,
Be with me, be here tonight,
And I’ll kiss you, up, down, left and right.

Hold me close, and I’ll caress,
As we kiss, we slowly undress,
Hold me close, and I’ll caress,
The sturdiness of my bed, we shall test.

Scream for me, scream my name,
As I go in, again and again,
Scream for me, scream my name,
Scratch and bite, I love that ****** pain.

Hot and sweaty, out of breath,
I don’t think I’ve got any energy left,
Hot and sweaty, out of breath,
Round 2, you’re in charge, you’re the ref.
Now, there was this kid,
Never felt good enough,
No matter what he did.

Felt like he was a burden, a hindrance,
Always in the way,
No tears with his disappearence.

He learnt how to hide this,
Put on a smile, and hide the sadness,
They weren't theirs, only his.

He got his first chest hair,
And his first thoughts of ending,
But they wouldn't care.

He told himself everytime,
Keep on the mask,
Let them know you're fine.

He fpund and loved his first,
And she never knew,
That love was the worst.

He went in too deep,
He either loved 100% or felt nothing,
Never a step, a leap.

He learnt how to control,
With the help of doctors,
He put the darkness in a hole.

He went on to find another,
This time this love made him grow,
Not just a girlfriend, a lover.

He became a man, with a beard,
Made mistakes,
Learnt what he feared.

When she left, he knew,
He can't be alone,
Thats when the darkness grew.

Sleepless nights, and tiresome days,
The darkness crept back,
Falling into his old ways.

On top of a building site,
He looked down at his future,
He had given up the fight.

Placed his belongings on the ledge,
Stepped up,
Toes hanging off the edge.

He closed is eyes, tears down his face,
The fake smile beaming,
Release will be at the base.

He didnt fall forward like planned,
He fell backwards,
Face buried in hand.

Lets try again, step to the line,
This time he'll do it,
But he hesitated thia time.

A text. His phone flashing away.
"Where you at you *******?"
Typical thing his friend would say.

He had a surge of relief, a sigh,
A change of mind.
He still doesnt really know why.

A few months passed,
The darkness still in control.
Will this ever end he'll ask.

He looked hollow at sight,
He wore a smile, but it was clear to see,
His closest asked if he was alright.

I'm okay, he said. Everytime he lied.
He took every pill he had,
Fell on his side.

The luck he had, that awkward fall,
His body rejected his attempt,
He knew he was a fool.

Felt **** for days,
No sleep still,
Self torture in different ways.

Then something happened, a click,
He needed to live, he needed help,
He was just sick.

He made a decision,
To help others,
He had a vision.

To use his experience as a guide,
To help others in need,
To be there for them, far and wide.

The darkness lost its hold,
And he found a new love,
He felt warmth, not just the cold.

Years went by, living a happy life,
Yes he had ups and downs,
But he felt strong with her, through all their strife.

Yet, again, the darkness creeps in,
Slowly getting stronger,
On its way to win.

He is confused. Why now?
His life isnt perfect, but still,
He doesn't know why or how.

Its different. He familiar with its ways,
He still hides it well,
But you can see it in his gaze.

He knows he needs to talk.
Take action slowly and in time,
No need to run before you can walk.

He won't let it win,
He's got too much to live for,
He knows he needs to destroy the darkness within.

I know this story too well,
I know it because he is me.
This is my story to tell.

Please, if you can relate,
Talk. Let it out.
A doctor, family, a mate.

Or me. A complete stranger to you.
I'm always here,
I'm always here its true.

Just talk.
This one is a bit of a mess. I got caught up in the moment and ranted. Its a bit raw. Kinda forced at times maybe. Either way, the message stands.
You won't see me cry.
Not even a single tear.
No tears will drop on my cheek,
No tears from me, not here.

You won't see me cry.
You won't see me be fagile,
I will throw up these barriers,
I will hide behind a fake smile.

You won't see me cry.
I won't show you I'm weak.
Broken heart, loss of a loved one,
You may think that I'm a freak.

You won't see me cry.
You will never see me cry.
These flood gates won't open,
No matter how hard I try.

You won't see me cry.
Don't take it personal please,
I just can't do it in front of people,
When I'm on my own, the tears release.

You won't see me cry.
Behind closed doors, a fly on the wall,
You would see the anger, sadness and dejection,
Only there the tears will fall.
It's so hard to find the perfect breeze,
One blowing none too hard nor soft,
Carrying a scent of wild flowers,
And moving clouds about aloft.

It's so hard to find the perfect sky,
One blue and deep and bright,
Carrying a sense of openness
With the birds of summer in flight.

It's so hard to find the perfect night,
One warm, quiet and unflawed,
Carrying a mood of solitude,
And a closeness to a god.

Yet no perfection's so hard to find
As that which you extend
And none I'll ever treasure more,
Than to simply be your friend…
I'm fine.
The lie I say every fking day.
The lie I say multiple times a day.
I wake up from a sleep that hasn't rested me,
And I lie. I'm fine.
When the woman I love asks if I'm okay, I lie to her.
I'm fine.
When she's breaking down due to her own issues,
I stay stong for her. Tell her it will be okay.
Possibly another lie.
I bury myself in these lies, to make sure everyone else is okay.
I'm fine.
The only reason, the ONLY ******* reason, why I haven't attempted for the 3rd time, is because I am scared of the impact of other people.
I'm fine.
I don't care what happens to me.
I care what will happen to others.
Laurens future. Her own mental health.
My Mums heart. I can't take a son away from my Mother.
My sisters big brother.
My Dads nipper.
My nephews uncle.
I'm fine.
My best friends. I couldn't forgive myself if I made the group smaller by 1.
I'm fine.
It even extends to work.
I can't let others take on the burden of doing the work I should be doing, because I ended it.
I'm not that selfish.
I'm fine.
Its the crippeling debt we're in.
How the f
k can I let the person I love put up with that on her own.
We barely live pay day to pay day.
And how can I do this to a family that hasn't even started.
I'm fine.
I am fine.
This constant feeling of something catastrophic is about to happen.
This invisible ocean I'm drowning in.
This explosion that is happening in my head, that I'm constantly holding back.
The thoughts that flitter in my head so easily.
I'm fine.
I say it with a smile.
I say it with purpose.
I say it with a heavy heart.
I'm fine.
My mouth says I'm fine.
My eyes scream for help.
I've been so good at lying, I've convinced every other communication I have.
My actions.
My words.
My mannerisms.
The jokes I flood into every conversation.
I'm fine.
I try to laugh as much as possible.
It helps convince others I'm fine.
It helps supress.
If I don't laugh, I die.
Or so it feels.
I'm fine.
This was more of a rant. A flood of thoughts.
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