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2.3k · Jan 2021
The Constant Lie
I'm fine.
The lie I say every fking day.
The lie I say multiple times a day.
I wake up from a sleep that hasn't rested me,
And I lie. I'm fine.
When the woman I love asks if I'm okay, I lie to her.
I'm fine.
When she's breaking down due to her own issues,
I stay stong for her. Tell her it will be okay.
Possibly another lie.
I bury myself in these lies, to make sure everyone else is okay.
I'm fine.
The only reason, the ONLY ******* reason, why I haven't attempted for the 3rd time, is because I am scared of the impact of other people.
I'm fine.
I don't care what happens to me.
I care what will happen to others.
Laurens future. Her own mental health.
My Mums heart. I can't take a son away from my Mother.
My sisters big brother.
My Dads nipper.
My nephews uncle.
I'm fine.
My best friends. I couldn't forgive myself if I made the group smaller by 1.
I'm fine.
It even extends to work.
I can't let others take on the burden of doing the work I should be doing, because I ended it.
I'm not that selfish.
I'm fine.
Its the crippeling debt we're in.
How the f
k can I let the person I love put up with that on her own.
We barely live pay day to pay day.
And how can I do this to a family that hasn't even started.
I'm fine.
I am fine.
This constant feeling of something catastrophic is about to happen.
This invisible ocean I'm drowning in.
This explosion that is happening in my head, that I'm constantly holding back.
The thoughts that flitter in my head so easily.
I'm fine.
I say it with a smile.
I say it with purpose.
I say it with a heavy heart.
I'm fine.
My mouth says I'm fine.
My eyes scream for help.
I've been so good at lying, I've convinced every other communication I have.
My actions.
My words.
My mannerisms.
The jokes I flood into every conversation.
I'm fine.
I try to laugh as much as possible.
It helps convince others I'm fine.
It helps supress.
If I don't laugh, I die.
Or so it feels.
I'm fine.
This was more of a rant. A flood of thoughts.
2.2k · Nov 2014
Trust me, Love yourself.
Don't trust anyone.
That's what they say.
Don't trust anyone.
I don't think that way.
Trust. The most valuable thing.
On par with loyalty.
You should always trust someone.
I trust me.
You should trust you.
Trust that you'll make the right choice,
That you'll step up when needed,
Morality needs a voice.
Trust that you'll be there for them.
When their tears need a shoulder,
When his troubles needs comfort,
When her heart needs a holder.
Trust in yourself.
Then trust will come to you.
They'll trust your decisions,
They'll trust everything you do.
But be aware,
Trust is fragile.
Be careful who you trust.
Trust yourself, to keep your trust agile.
And when trust in someone is returned,
And when it is equally reflected,
Love will grow,
And your hearts forever connected.
Trust.
Trust her.
Trust him.
Trust me.
But most of all, trust yourself. And you'll love yourself. And life will be better.
Written with a friend who seems to be having trust issues at the moment. Stay strong buddy.
2.0k · Mar 2012
Happy Birthday, Yasmin
Happy birthday Yasmin, my precious friend,
My love for you, I wish to extend.
Experiences filled, with joy and laughter,
Special memories, we shall recall after.

From the beginning, you made me smile,
Accepted me, without any trial.
Never judged or jumped to conclusions,
Exciting friendship; random infusions.

I cannot ask, for anything more,
So many things, I simply adore.
Hope this birthday never ends,
In my heart, time transcends.

No more fake I.D, you’re legal to go clubbing at last,
All the worry of getting in, left in the past.
So Happy 18th Birthday, my special friend,
Good times await us, just round the bend.
I wrote this for my old friends 18th
2.0k · Mar 2012
Constantly Thinking Of You
You stay on my mind
Every night and day
and sometimes I even feel you
in every single way

You are everything to me
and you do not seem to know
that you are my heart, body, and soul
and I just can't let you go

I go through life everyday
having thoughts of only you
I wonder that if you saw me
what exactly would you do

Would you scream and shout my name
or would you turn away
and would I even know
that you saw me that day

I wonder would you hug me
or would you simply say hello
and turn and walk away
saying I really have to go

I think about the times we had
and what we used to do
the times I walked you home
and things that we went through

I was just sitting here thinking
about what you mean to me
all the things that we were
and all the things that we could be

I just prayed to God
to bring you back to me
because I know I love you
and I think about you constantly
1.7k · Apr 2012
I Don't Hate You
I don't hate you for not loving me anymore,
but I hate myself for still loving you.
I assure that every word in this,
Every single one, is true.
I love you so ******* much,
And I'm clinging on to hope,
But I'm starting to loose the will to live,
I've already tied my rope.
I probably won't do it,
I'll stop myself in the final seconds,
But death is constantly tempting,
"Come to me" he beckons,
I don't hate you for not loving me anymore,
But I hate myself, for everything I'm not,
Karma gave me all the bad luck,
I'm due some back, I guess she forgot.
I'm not the man I used to be,
I was improved by our passion,
I was smelted from our love,
Our happiness, and our compassion.
I will always be here,
Waiting for you to come back,
I'll be living my life, just not fully,
Because a reason is what I lack.
I used to have a reason, you,
But you're no longer there,
Just a scar on my heart,
Of which I'm proud to wear,
I don't hate you for not loving me anymore,
But I hate myself, for hating you,
I've somehow turned this pain into hate,
But this hate isn't real, just an attempt to pull through.
I will never hate you, I have nothing but love for you,
But this love is killing me, its tearing me apart,
Let me show you how to fall in love again,
Let me take you back to the start?
1.7k · Mar 2012
To My Stepfather
Dad,
Why won't you listen to me?
Please hear my silent plea,
You so often ignore.
Why can't you see my pain?
Just once, I wish you'd say;
I love you, simply because you are you.
Why can't you admire my compassion? My soul?
That you don't even know yet cries out for recognition.
Why have you never heard my plea?
A plea to understand who I am.
Grew up believing,
Everything you did was right.
I tried so hard to please you.
Yet I always fell somehow short of your expectations.
Why did I fail to win your love?
Why have you never heard me cry?
Why have you never listened to me?
You have heard my words,
But you never understood what I was trying to say.
He's not my real Dad, I just called him Dad. Long, complicated story.
1.6k · Aug 2012
Counting Sheep
Trying to sleep but my eyes open wide
With voices whispering from every side,
Battles in my mind and nowhere to hide,
a futile resistance against the rising tide.

Thought after thought taunting my soul,
As this constant barrage takes its toll,
Eating away slowly now a gaping hole,
My mind going crazy and out of control.

I know not why I cannot rest,
Thoughts of random is all I possess,
A decent nights sleep, and I'll be blessed,
5 minutes and I'm unimpressed.

I always loose the fight to sleep,
I've counted every last ******* sheep,
Watched them 'baa' as they leap,
Watch them land in a heap.

I give up, I might as well,
Just leave my sleeplessness to dwell,
Bid my dreams farewell,
Cos everynight I'm met with hell...
1.3k · Mar 2012
Our Kiss
A kiss of passion,
In a moment’s lapse,
Seems to linger longer,
With a fervent fiery flame,
Burning between our avid lips.

Wrapped up in a romantic nuance;
A feeling never felt,
Never known, never shown,
Never till now,
Under the moon’s radiant glare.

We feel the wind blow smoothly,
As it caresses our cheeks ever so tenderly,
And we embrace the dark night’s sky,
As my head tilts closer to you,
And our eyes meet in a timeless glance,
Before they close and we drift,
Into each other’s hearts.

One heart beat, not two,
Our kiss is the rhythm of a euphonic melody,
That of which can’t be sung,
‘cause the lyrics we cannot fathom.

But I know the song very well,
It’s the tune that will never cease playing,
In my heart,
When I’m with you . . .
1.3k · May 2012
Plenty Of Fish
I live each day a lie,
A white lie at that,
I'm running up a vertical *****,
Yet act as if its horizontally flat,
I don't want you to see my pain,
Not to save my pride,
But so you don't get upset,
And cry tears you try to hide.

I may have 'moved on',
But my love for you still kills me,
I think of you unless I'm with her,
She stops me from hurting completely,
She knows my pain,
Caresses the wounds and scars,
She releases my heart,
Knocks down the walls and bars.

There's plenty more fish they say,
And I know there are plenty of girls out there,
But are they for me?
I don't particularly care,
There's plenty of fish out there,
Its all they used to say,
I have a great catch,
But you were the one that got away...
I don't know if you can tell, but I broke up with the one I love a few months ago, and now I'm sort of seeing someone else, and she knows everything and knows I still love my ex, but knows I want to move on with her.
1.3k · Mar 2012
Thankyou, Friend
It's so hard to find the perfect breeze,
One blowing none too hard nor soft,
Carrying a scent of wild flowers,
And moving clouds about aloft.

It's so hard to find the perfect sky,
One blue and deep and bright,
Carrying a sense of openness
With the birds of summer in flight.

It's so hard to find the perfect night,
One warm, quiet and unflawed,
Carrying a mood of solitude,
And a closeness to a god.

Yet no perfection's so hard to find
As that which you extend
And none I'll ever treasure more,
Than to simply be your friend…
1.0k · Mar 2012
An Empty Shell
**** the world, and life,

Along with everything you taught me,

Nothing you said would happen will happen,

Nothing will be how it ought to be,

The good guy will always come last,

Broken hearted and dead,

Whilst everyone else is happy,

With the ******* that they're fed,

This middle fingers aimed straight at you,

For telling me everything will be okay,

For telling me always and forever,

You knew it would never be that way,

I put my whole soul into to you,

Put my dreams there with yours,

But you threw my heart out in the rain,

And locked all the ******* doors,

Now my life is empty,

Nothing but ******* left for me,

Just another empty shell,

A failure for the world to see.
This is an angry poem, and exactly how I feel right now.
1.0k · Apr 2012
My Loneliness
I hate this place,
For I can't seem to leave,
Wherever I roam,
I'm in this place of grief.
Its paths seem to go on forever,
An infinate corridor of hell,
This place is a curse, a wicked spell,
And into it I fell.

I hate this place,
Even the doctors are confused,
They cant help me,
Or at least they refused.

This place isn't physical,
Yet it follows wherever I roam,
Its a mental state,
And it's my new home.

I no longer sleep,
I no longer feel,
I just exist,
In my loneliness...
1.0k · Mar 2012
You Held The Gun
My bedroom is empty,
With just me in my bed,
I can hear you breathing,
But its all in my head.
I can't relax, it's as if,
My pillow is made out of lead.

Nothing to hold,
Tigger doesn't hug back,
I spread my arms,
You're warmth I lack,
Your touch I desire,
I feel the lonliness attack.

If I did nothing wrong,
Then why do I feel I'm to blame?
Like we were a candle,
And I blew out the flame,
But you held the gun,
And my heart, you took aim...
957 · Mar 2012
Nothing Special
I am a king without a crown,
the lost that was never found,
Wealthy, with no money,
I am music with no sound.
A statistic to the government,
Another shadow on the ground,
A pebble on a beach,
Always there, but never around,
I am nothing special,
Just a millionaires spare pound,
I am friendless, yet popular,
I am known, far from renowned.
952 · Apr 2012
Needle and Thread
I just don't understand,
Just as I was starting to be 'Okay',
Happiness is pulled from me,
I'm not meant to feel this way.

I've started to move on,
I've met someone new,
She hasn't replaced,
Just stops me thinking of you.

I'm not saying we're together,
But she makes me forget the pain,
Hopefully, things keep going well,
And my heart beats again.

But as of now,
I wait with a needle and thread,
To sow my heart back together,
And lock up the pain it once bled.

...******* for the pain you've inflicted,
I don't think you know what you've done,
But no matter what has been,
I still truley believe you're the one.

I hate you,
I love you more,
Even though you stabbed,
And threw my heart on the floor.
929 · Mar 2012
My Drunk Poem
Starkle, starkle, little *****,
Who the hell are you I think.
I'm not under what you call
The alcofluence of incohol.
I'm just a little slort of sheep,
I'm not drunk like thinkle peep.
I don't know who is me yet,
But the drunker I stand here the longer I get.
So just give me one more fink to drill my cup,
'Cause I got all day sober to Sunday up.
927 · Mar 2012
Too Big Too Cry
I never stopped to realize
How lonely I would be
I never thought the day would come
When you'd grow tired of me

Your voice was never sweeter
Than the day you said goodbye
You'll never know how much it hurt
Because I'm too big to cry

If I knew then what I know now
You'd still be kissing me
Instead there's someone else's lips
Where mine used to be

I say hello and wish you well
Each time I pass you by
But you'll never know how much it hurt
Because I'm too big to cry

You never looked so wonderful
As the day you walked away
I used to say, "I love you"
But that I could not say

I can't forget you Twinkle
No matter how much I try
You'll never know how much it hurt
Because I'm too big to cry
855 · Mar 2012
Future? What Future?
Future?
What future?
******* to the future,
For it doesn't exist.
The past does,
And so does the present,
People who say they can see it,
Well, they must be ******.

We make the future,
We do,
Not fate or destiny,
We make it our own,
We make it everyday,
With bare hands,
Working them to the bone.

Who are you to say,
That there is no future for us?
We have all the foundations,
We gotta take it day by day to build,
We have no plans,
We dont need them,
'Cos we can change, altar and rebuild.

I don't see myself,
Being a millionaire or a star,
But who's gonna stop me?
Just me.
Only I can stop myself,
Like you can only stop your future,
But we will have a future,
If you'll let it be.
I wrote this when my now ex, told me she doesn't see a future
I shouldn't care,
But it cuts me deep,
To cut me off completely,
In one leep.
I can no longer check,
To see if you're okay,
It's probably for the best,
It'll be okay one day.
I just wish things were different,
I wish I wasn't such a ****,
First time I ever ****** up,
Didn't think it'll be like that.
I'd do anything to take back the words I said,
To those who shouldn't know,
But I didn't think,
My guilt suffocates as it grows.
Even though I'm moving on,
And the relationship is going well,
I still love you, but I don't want you,
I'm in some kind of hell.
I just want you back,
Just as a friend ,
You know everything about me,
This relationship, we can mend.
I don't want you,
I know that much for real,
I just can't leave us broken,
My wounds are to deep to heal.
843 · Jul 2012
Moving On...
So once again,
My heartbreaks over something that was only in my head,
But don't ever forget,
I meant every word I should have left unsaid.
You walked away,
As if our love and all we had was nothing,
Yet I fought on,
Cos to me, you, and all you came with, was everything.
I no longer want you,
But you will forever be in my heart,
You're so special to me,
I knew you were from the very start.
Yes I have moved on,
I'm getting on with this life of mine,
I'm no longer being sad,
And no longer just pretending to be fine.
I may not love my new girl,
But we have only just begun,
We may not last,
Yet, she may be the one.
Who knows,
We may be in love once again,
But for now,
I'll think of you every now and then.
832 · Mar 2012
Alana
We've been there through life's sorrow and pain

But together we have always endured the strain

We've argued and bickered and made each other mad

But if you weren't my sister, life would be so sad

We've cried till we laughed and laughed till we cried

Sometimes for no reason we didn't even know why

When we're not together our bond is just as strong

We are brother and sister we know when something is wrong

We've whispered our deepest secrets only we could share

I love my sister dearly because she really cares

So whether we are together or we are far apart

Alana, you're my sister, my friend and forever in my heart.
I wrote this for my younger sister, Alana, for her 18th
782 · Mar 2012
Close My Eyes &...
Sometimes I just wish, I could run away and hide.
No matter where I go though, these feelings stay inside.
How can I stay here & live each day a lie,
When all I want to do is close my eyes & die?
I see the pain I cause you, with every tear I shed.
I plead with you now, let me go instead?
Can I ask for your forgiveness? For you to set me free,
It may seem ungrateful, but this life's not meant for me.
Thank you for all your love, for all the time we shared,
It means the world to me, to know that someone cared
768 · Mar 2012
In My Eyes
You don't know how I'm feeling.
I have yet to vocalize
Desire deep inside me.
Can you see it in my eyes?

I tremble when I'm near you
Heat travels up my thighs
and I want you with an urgency
That I just can't describe.

Dare I reach out to touch you?
Do you think you'd realize
How much I want and need you?
Can you see it in my eyes?

I long to say, "I want you,"
But am scared of your reply.
Terrified like a child
I've become paralyzed.

The camouflaged emotions
Lead to pain and silent cries.
And yet I just can't tell you.
Don't you see it in my eyes?

Confessing through this poem
My dilemma summarized.
The feeling's quite cathartic,
But will lead to my demise.
748 · Mar 2012
The Knife
You twist the knife,
That you drove through my heart,
You twist it, again and again,
With these words you say,
What have I done so wrong?
To deserve this from you?
Give up hope?
Never.
Without hope man is doomed.
Without hope, I am dead, for it's all I have,
Now you've taken everything else from me.
Yet, I still love you.
All I want is you.
This knife you thrusted into me,
Is no match for the love I have.
Nothing will stop me.
I will always love you.
Forever and Always,
That is a promise.
747 · Mar 2012
Don't Fall In Love
Have You ever loved someone
But knew they didn't care?
Have You ever felt like crying
But Knew you'd get no where?

Have you ever looked into their eyes
And said a little prayer?
Have you ever looked into their hearts
And wished that you were there?

Have you ever felt their heartbeat,
When the lights were turned down low?
Have you ever whispered "I love You"
But you'll never let me show?

Love is grand, yet it hurts so much.
The price you pay is high.
If I could choose between Love and Death,
I'd rather choose to die.

So do not fall in love, my friend,
It doesn't pay a dime.
It only causes broken hearts,
Yet it happens all the time.

So do not fall in love, my friend,
You'll hurt before it's through.
I ought to know, my friend -
I fell in love with you.
669 · Apr 2012
Blind
You're so beautiful,
With your long constant colour changing hair,
You take your time with people,
To show you really care.
You speak with your soft voice,
You embrace with your loving arms,
You make everyone smile,
With your beauty and charms.

You're a rose,
Which my hand is clenched to,
It hurts me so much,
The blood pours true,
I won't let go though,
My soul wont let me,
My body is incomplete with out you,
My life is empty, can't you see?

I need your love,
Your kiss, your touch,
I need you,
I miss you so much,
I can't go a day,
Without you running through my mind,
I may be fighting a dead cause,
But they say Love is blind.
669 · Mar 2012
You Are Beautiful
Always remember to love yourself,
for the person that you are,
put all doubts and fears upon the shelf,
and from them you'll go far.
Seek out positive people for friends,
that you enjoy to be around,
for true bonds of friendship never ends,
once it has been found.
Learn to forgive yourself,
as well as friend and foe,
mistakes we make is how we learn,
and from them we can grow.
Always pursue happiness,
but never lose touch from Base,
the pursuit you'll find, is a state of mind,
and may be a life long chase.
Where You come from is not that Important,
what matters is always knowing,
the past is gone, the future is now,
and the future is where you'll be going.
Always try and keep your word,
try not to ever lie,
don’t repeat bad things you've heard,
Karma comes back by.
If you worry about what might be,
and wonder what might have been,
You'll blind the thoughts that help you see
what is...and where to begin
Take or make time for a sunset,
or perhaps a walk on the beach,
Peace of mind, you'll often find,
is always quite within reach.
Always be strong and face your fear,
if you want that fear to disappear,
For if You turn and run away,
that fear within you is there to stay...
644 · Mar 2012
Stay With Me
Stay with me, stay here tonight,
And I’ll fill you with delight,
Be with me, be here tonight,
And I’ll kiss you, up, down, left and right.

Hold me close, and I’ll caress,
As we kiss, we slowly undress,
Hold me close, and I’ll caress,
The sturdiness of my bed, we shall test.

Scream for me, scream my name,
As I go in, again and again,
Scream for me, scream my name,
Scratch and bite, I love that ****** pain.

Hot and sweaty, out of breath,
I don’t think I’ve got any energy left,
Hot and sweaty, out of breath,
Round 2, you’re in charge, you’re the ref.
640 · Feb 5
Walking Among Heroes
We walk among hero’s every day.
And they are recognised,
But not merely enough.
They all fight on the same team,
They don’t always have the same uniforms,
But they fight for you, out of love.
They get paid sure, just about,
But it doesn’t keep them there,
It’s their compassion.

They suffer long hours, and bad pay,
Overworked, overwhelmed,
Something we need to refashion.
Yet they continue, fighting for your health,
Mending wounds, treating disease,
Doing their all, doing what they can.
They do it with a smile, a friendly face,
They do it agile, and with grace,
Yet they’re just human, not Superman.
They’re on the frontline, hands on,
They’re behind the scenes,
Each a cog, in a massive machine.
But this machine is built by living parts,
And they’re breaking more and more,
Physically, emotionally, everything in between,
Yet they carry on.
They continue to fight.
A battle never won.
Recognised and praised,
These are our heroes,
Recognised, revered, yet still unsung.
Joining a NHS Trust in a digital team, I saw the clinical teams first hand, as well as the admin and "back" staff. I wrote this on a break. Not really Proof read it.
639 · Mar 2012
Memories I Wish I Had
Memories I wish I had,

With you I wanted to make,

Like staying round my flat for the first time,

and watching me blow out 21 on a cake.

Watching my sister get married,

and seeing your first saints game,

Growing old together, I can do it with others,

But it won’t be the same.

The things I had planned,

To sweep you off your feet,

Take you abroad when we’re older,

All my family you’d meet.

All of these thoughts,

Running through my head,

I will carry these thoughts for life,

All the way til I’m dead.

Unless you make my dreams come true,

We can join our dreams together,

We conquer the world, if you take me back,

And once again, Always and Forever.
627 · Apr 2012
A Nightmare
No wonder you fell out of love with me,
This pathetic mess that I've become.
I wish I was anyone else in the world right now,
Anyone.
All I gave you was love,
I gave you my everything,
And you gave me back the same,
For you I would do anything.
Yet, you throw me away,
Reduced me to nothing but this,
A man with no motivation,
No inspiration, falling in to the abyss.
I still think of you,
Every single moment,
My life is in pieces,
And you're my missing component.
I can't explain this feeling,
Emptiness, for lack of words,
I no longer see the sun,
Or hear the chirps of the birds.
I just exist, in this loneliness of mine,
Like I said before, emptiness, is all I feel,
I'm still waiting to wake up,
Surely this can't be real...
627 · Mar 2012
I Still Love You
I still love you,
As much as I did before,
But my heart is broken,
My heart, into two you tore.

I still think your perfect in everyway,
Although you’ve made stupid mistakes,
I still get all nervous around you,
Still get butterflies and the shakes.

Although you’ve near on killed me,
You’re still the one for me,
I will always love you,
Just wait and see.

You’re always on my mind,
In every query and every thought,
You threw me down,
My heart no one caught.

For it’s yours, yours to keep,
Forever in your hold,
True love lasts forever,
Or so I’m told.

Then why did we split?
For you are the one,
I will always love you,
‘Til my life is done.
624 · Mar 2012
2nd Place
Once again my friend,
I am put second to everything,
I can't help but feel unwanted,
As if I dont mean a thing,
An unwanted rain cloud,
In a photographers summer scene,
Beans on toast, topped with cheese,
When she wants fine french cuisine,
I am put second, as usual,
Noone initially thinks of me,
Unless they've thought of everything else,
Because anything else is better, you see?
I wrote this when I felt as if those who were closest to me weren't even considering me
622 · Apr 2012
As I Lay Here
As I lay here,
Never have I felt so alone.
No one wanting me,
Not even a text on my phone.
I keep looking at it,
Shall I text to say hello?
Or should I leave it,
And hope the feeling will go.
I hear your voice,
When the silence becomes too much,
Telling me everything you used to,
When our lips used to touch.
I smell your aroma,
As I lay here in disbelief,
My eyes tear a little,
No sense of relief.
I'm so lost,
I can see the way home,
I'm just clutching onto hope,
As I lay here, so alone.
622 · Mar 2012
I Can Only
I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts,
or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will
search for answers.

I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,
nor the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you,
and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship,
from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,
room to be yourself.

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces
and put them back in place.

I can't tell you who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend.
This was written with few close friends in mind when I was asked for opinions/advice
620 · Mar 2012
Life
As I walk through life,
I look at all I have done.
I had wandered aimlessly,
And wondered what I have become.

I have been through so much,
It is amazing I made it through.
The lessons I have learned
I am shocked I pulled through.

The times I wondered
What life was all about.
The trials experienced in life,
Can make all the good come out.

We try to make it day by day.
Remembering what we were taught.
Just remember some time to pray,
It is important,
We need it every day.

Life can be short.
Unexpected at that.
We try to take its punches,
Just hoping it won't break our back.

Remember who you are,
Who you want to become.
Everything will fall into place,
And the time will come.

Don't forget I love you's,
Every chance you get.
The time maybe short,
There is no time to regret.

Life can be exciting,
As we all have found out.
Eventful, even busy
There is no time to be left out.

Remember who you are,
And Who you want to become.
The time can be short
Don't leave things undone.

Remember your families,
They are the only ones you've got.
To carry you in times of need
They can not be bought.

Remember they love you,
Either here or there.
They will always be with us.
Help for things to bear.
598 · Mar 2012
Confusion
How am I the one in the wrong?
I just don't understand,
When you were the one who kiiled us?
Left me unable to stand.
You stabbed me in the heart,
And you twisted the knife,
You took away everything,
I live an empty life.
I prepared my life around your wants and needs,
And I was still happy, I was,
I loved you for everything you were,
I even loved you flaws.
I still do love you,
And I miss you so much too,
I always will,
Long after this life is through.
You have no idea what you're doing to me,
Have you ever devoted you life to someone,
Who just threw it away?
I don't wish this pain on anyone.
I hurt so much,
But then the pain turns to emptiness,
Then the emptiness, not filled, but consumed,
By lonliness.
I except eveything,
All the problems we may face,
Yet you ran straight away,
This isn't a race.
Just come back to me and talk,
We'll talk about you and me,
We were happy, and we will be,
Just come back, you'll see.
592 · Apr 2012
Void
How can you be there for someone,
If they won't let you?
How can you love someone,
If they wont let you?
I will always love her,
Despite that she doesn't feel the same,
I may show you the sun,
Yet all I see is rain.
I live a lie,
I show a facade,
My hearts wounds are open,
You just see its scarred.
My life is empty,
My life is destroyed,
My heart has been replaced,
In its place, an empty void.
592 · Mar 2012
Sing Her Song
I face the world with a smile, no one knows what is hid inside.
They see only happiness, they cant see the tears I've cried.
When I am alone I hurt, because here I do it well.
In front of all the watchful eyes my heaven turns to hell.
The judge and jury awaits me, everyone has a say.
In a life that hangs suspended for yet another day.
Who are they to judge if what I have done is right or wrong?
In the end she gave me up, but inside I still sing her song.
I don't know how to find the strength I thought I had.
If only I could play tough it wouldn't be so bad.
They say that life goes on and someday I'll smile again.
But, how do they know my pain without being where I've been?
I've traveled so far from home, and can't find my way back.
Somewhere along the way I must have jumped the track.
I saw her just today and her smile is still the same.
She looked at me so sweetly, but never spoke my name.
I wonder if she remembers me, It hasn't been that long.
She may have forgotten me, but I still sing her song.
586 · Mar 2012
To A Special Friend
This poem is about our friendship,
I used to think it’ll never rip,
But now I know it’ll tear,
But I know you’ll always be there.

Like time, we’ll go on,
Like Robin Hood, and Lil’ John,
Our friendship is a disease,
With no cure, we catch it with ease.

Yes we have some great fun,
But regrettable things our done,
Sometimes I don't understand, sometimes I don't know what to do,
But remember always, that I will forgive you.

You are my best friend, you always will be,
Yet sometimes I get mad at you, and you get mad at me,
I can’t stand not being,
So let’s start forgiving…
I wrote this when I was like 13, 14
580 · Mar 2012
To You Mum, On Mother's Day
For all the things I didn't say,
About how I felt along the way,
For the love you gave and the work you've done,
Here's appreciation from your admiring son.

You cared for me as a little tot,
When all I did was cry a lot,
And as I grew your work did too,
I ran and fell and got black and blue.

I grew some more and it didn't stop;
Now you had to become a cop,
To worry about mistakes I'd make;
You kept me in line for my own sake.

I got older, and the story repeated;
You were always there whenever I needed.
You guided me and wished me the best,
I became wiser and knew I was blessed.

So, for all the times I didn't say,
The love I felt for you each and every day,
Mum, read this so you can always see,
Just how much you mean to me.

Mum, Thankyou,
For being nothing but you,
For everything you've done,
And everything that is to come.
578 · Mar 2012
Hand In Hand
As I lay in my bed, I think of you,
The way you do the things you do,
Nothing in particular, just you in general,
Nothing great, except you, to me you’re special.

How do you do it? Look stunning all the time?
You may think different, but you always look fine,
I look into your eyes, and fall into a dream,
If you felt how I feel, then you’ll know what I mean.

You’re an amazing friend, one I want forever,
I’ve known you for a few years, since back whenever,
But I want you to become more than a friend,
But scared you’ll disagree and make our friendship end.

I don’t know what to do, I love you so much,
But scared about the future, and afraid to touch,
Please show me something, some sort of sign,
I want to be yours, and you to be mine.

I’ll treat you as if you were a Queen, my Queen,
Protect you from all the evil and obscene,
Be there for you whenever you call my name,
Make sure you only feel amazing, never any pain.

Please let me know how you feel, give me your views,
Please let me know, because it’s you I choose,
Forever here for you, fulfil your every command,
I will be invincible with you, hand in hand.
578 · Mar 2012
Are You Okay?
"Are you okay?"
Thats what I ask,
"Yup u?" is your reply,
Texts, they hide you like a mask.

I can't tell with texts,
If you're lying or not,
If you wern't okay,
Would you tell me or not?

I want be there,
To ask you the same,
"Are you okay?"
"I'm glad you came"

I could hold you close,
And hold you tight,
Together we'll conquer the world,
We'll win this fight.

No matter what the future holds,
I will be there for you,
If you'll let me,
I promise this is true.
When I text a certain someone who is very close to my heart, all I ever get is 'Yup, you? x' and this frustrates me
561 · Mar 2012
Yesterdays Tears
I no longer face the day

Embracing a night that nears

Tomorrow seems so far away

Still living yesterdays tears



I can no longer forgive to forget

Giving a voice that nobody hears

There is no comfort as the Sun sets

Still living yesterdays tears



I am no longer able to escape the past

The mist in my mind never clears

Nothing good ever seems to last

Still living yesterdays tears



I can no longer see any point

I am lost in these hidden fears

Secret pain like a broken joint

Still living yesterdays tears
559 · Mar 2012
Sometimes I Imagine
Sometimes I imagine...

Happily sailing through life
you and me walking hand in hand
able to face each problem and strife
experiencing a love that understands

Where I can rest all my anxiety
in your comforting arms
conquer every goal and see victory
and not come across despair or harm

Sometimes I wonder...

If you think about me
and share the same feeling
or am I just a quiet breeze
that comes and goes not affecting

Do you desire the same love
which echoes within my heart
thoughts of me do you just shove
and let my memories depart

Sometimes I just wish...

To be lost in you and in your passion
bathe in your tenderness and rejoice
to drown in the sea of your affection
and float in bliss listening to your voice

Sometimes I miss you and want you here
wishing for much more wishing for you
will you come to know or ever come near
and hold this heart of mine that longs for you..
556 · Mar 2012
All I Have
I would give all I have to have you with me,
To see tomorrow with you,
To touch and hold the one thing dear to me,
I would climb the highest mountains,
I would swim the widest oceans,
Closed my eyes and be blinded by your love,
Trusting in you to lead my way,
I would give all I had for you,
To love you and be loved in return,
To adore you, and be adored in return,
I would give my all to be with you,
To make the memories of yesterday forever,
To see me and you in the future.
Come whatever,
I would give all I have for you,
Lay down my life for you,
To sacrifice my soul for your pardon,
I would give all I have for you,
Be it to travel to the ends of the earth,
To catch the falling stars out of the skies above,
I would give all,
To hear you say the words I so needed to hear,
The word that would heal my broken heart,
The words that means the entire world to me,
To hear you say "I love you",
And look into your eyes knowing you meant it,
For I would give all I have in life for you,
For you gave me all I have in life,
And without you, I have nothing
556 · Mar 2012
More Than You Know
I'd like to tell you
How much I love you,
And I hope you know that I do...
I wish that the words I speak
So gently to you could be
Heard by your heart
With the same meanings
And the same soft feelings of love
That they carry from deep within me.

For more than you know...
I love so many things about you.
More than just the way you hold me
And the warmth you give;
I enjoy sharing life with you.
I enjoy the way we balance each other out,
How we share the good times
And support each other through the tears.
I enjoy the knowledge that we'll make it
Through whatever life brings
With courage and with love
Through the years.

More than you know...
And more than I can ever say,
I feel a wonderful thankfulness
In my heart ... just for you.
And I want you to remember, though
My thoughts don't always convey
And my feelings don't always show,
I love you, and I always will.
More than you’ll ever know.
526 · Nov 2014
Throne Of Thought
I sit, elbows on knees.
Frowning. Thinking.
Sometimes I just stare at the wall,
Not even blinking.
I think weird and random thoughts mainly.
Like, Who decided to drink cows milk?
Who on earth would eat those silicone packs you get inside shoe boxes?
Who decided to use silk?
I think deep thoughts too,
What am I doing with my life?
Am I happy?
Should I make my girlfriend my wife?
Sometimes I can be here for a few minutes,
Normally, I'm here for a bit more,
Sometimes, my legs go numb,
And my feet get sore,
And that's when I wipe,
Stand and flush,
Wash my hands,
And realise I've now gotta rush.
523 · Mar 2012
Miss Misery
Misery ******* loves me,
She can't let go,
Anywhere, and everywhere,
Her face will show.
She drags me down,
When my life goes good,
She makes me suffer,
To be fair, she should.
I cant get close to many,
But when I do, they'll know,
Cos there wouldnt be any part,
Of my life not on show.
Thoughts and feeling,
Race through my mind,
A place to rest my thoughts,
Are rare to find.
So I'll just carry on,
Doordling through life,
Coming across pain,
And walking hand in hand with strife.
520 · Mar 2012
This Feeling...
This feeling I can’t control,
Better run before it takes whole,
Taking over and blackening my soul,
Like being buried in a deep hole,
I cannot run and it’s taken whole,

Anger is all I feel,
Making me do things against my will...
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