I’m sorry that I don’t always
Find the time for exercising
And sometimes my room is cluttered
I’m not a real clean person

I’m sorry that sometimes
I leave my cereal bowl
On the table
I don’t relate, half the time
To things that are important

But I don’t smoke and
I don’t drink
I don’t do drugs
I don’t party
I’m good at school,
And I live at home
I’m doing my best, Mom.

I know sometimes
I’m not perfect
I do not practice
What I preach
But neither do you
Cause no one can
Don’t mean to burst your bubble.

I can’t read minds,
You’d like me to
I wish I could
Cause then I’d know
Exactly when you’re mad at me
And then I wouldn’t need
To have these pointless
Panic Attacks
My brain thinks are so important
I should see a doctor

But I don’t smoke and
I don’t drink
I don’t do drugs
I don’t party
I do well school,
And I live at home
I’m doing my best, Mom.

I like to think
I’m unique
I try to stand outside the crowd
But you told me
I sure blend in well
I think that’s mean
Because you’re the most
Basic ***** I’ve ever known
But maybe you’re right,
I’m just like you.

But I don’t smoke and
I don’t drink
I don’t do drugs
I don’t party
I’m good at school,
And I live at home
I’m doing my best, Mom.

You’re right, Mom:
A "B" is not an "A"
I’m a hoarder
I’m not healthy
I’m pretty lazy
Quite complacent
Self-righteous
Inconsiderate

But I’m doing my best, Mom

They just look like paper cuts, only skin deep.

The paper cuts are of a reminder of crying myself to sleep.



They just look like paper cuts, imprinted on my arm.

Too bad these paper cuts are caused by my self harm.



They just look like paper cuts, whispers of stinging hurt.

Hurt that is easily hidden by a long sleeve shirt.



They just look like paper cuts, barely there to stay.

Too bad these paper cuts will never go away.



They just look like paper cuts, but why do they scar?

It's because these paper cuts are much deeper by far.

A single cut from my bony wrist--
    up towards my darkened elbow

It's amazing how blood slowly seeps through--
    staining its path a rich crimson hue

A gentle throb before a numbing ache--
    much like before, it's always the same

Shallow wounds are, dare I say--
     nothing more than teasing temptresses of our world today

Blood seeps through, staining its path--
     much like our influence--as we ignore nature's wrath

It's amazing how I still manage to contemplate--
     while ignoring how the cut has become increasingly irate

Shallow wounds

     Shallow wounds

          Shallow wounds.

I really don't understand the sight--
     It just isn't for me--try as I might

Then again, this isn't something I necessarily hate--
     but it surely isn't something I'll try again after this day

Shallow wounds

     Shallow wounds

          Shallow wounds.

Care to give it a try?

   It might not have done it for me--

      but I know it's sure to satisfy.

Addictions are like *******
Everyone has one, and they usually stink
Smoke
Shoot
Snort
whatever you need to get you through
but...
What about when its not drugs?
How does she disclose
When her scars itch
When she's twitching
Scratching
Looking for something
what is it
what is it
what is it
what is it
where is it
where where where....
Her mind races
Her scars burn hot
Hot enough to burn her shorts
Hotter than her tears
There
Under the board on her stand
Shiny and stolen
Mechanical pencils are better anyway
She mutters to herself
Up goes her shorts
Up goes her sleeves
1
2
3
4
5
Dont count, make them even
In a line
Not like that
Her sister gets clean
She's left in limbo
How could she justify
How could she seek help
When she does it to herself
When it wont make her *****
When it wont make her seize
Addictions, everyone has one
For her, there's a relapse on the way

please don't take it from me
it's mine

when it's dark
when i'm lonely
it's all i have

the pain
the blood
the marks

there is no substitute.

just let me have it
in secret

you don't have to see it
you don't have to know

what i do when i'm alone,
it is my business
it is my body.

just let me have this
just let me cave in to the urge

let me hurt myself.