I don't know what it's like to want to die
but I know what it's like to watch
I know what it's like glance at the hours
waiting,
it's like looking at a clock
that goes backwards and the cuckoo
that would normally come out to play
pokes it head out and announces
"There is no time today"

I don't know what it's like to wither
I know what it's like to cease in time
staring at the wall is fascinating for you
but all the same, I'm watching that wall
and waiting for you to be sane

I don't know how it feels for you
but how about how it feels for me?
I don't live inside your brain
but you don't exist in there,
independently

I don't know how it feels for you
I know how it feels to me
we both don't want to open the garage door
you see rafters that could make you fit
I see gone my forever more

I won't pretend I know how you feel
when you cry so inconsolably
If you don't ever try to forget
I was there, to dry your tears
the tissue shredded
by more than your fears
I don't know how it feels
but I do know what I see
*I ask you to see me

He said I had Pretty, Blue eyes like his.
So I shut my eyes real tight.
I never wanted that Monster's eyes.
My eyes are my own, right?
he wore a disguise of a Man, But he's an impostor.
all he'll ever be is a Monster,
at least in the eyes of who he dare call his "daughter"
The Blue eyed monster lay on my bed not under.
I yelled out so fearfully loud, that It's no wonder I'm afraid of thunder.
And, ever since I've been begging my eyes to change their color.

I knew my life was a little rough.
But I always had just enough.
And there was never anyone to be jealous of.
But, I heard Jealousy being called The Green Eyed Monster.
Green's better than blue.
Green's so much better than the thought of you.
So, I asked Jealousy to consume me.
Invited the Green Eyed Monster in the room with me.
and asked it to plant some Jealousy to bloom in me.
Can you make it into a perfume then spray it on me?
I wanted jealousy to live in me.
But now, that isn't who I wanna be.
And I'm no longer Jealous that you get to keep the family.
They took your side, but they were better off without me.
Never looked back, but they woulda found out something about me.
Something to ponder,
my eyes are pretty, Green sometimes, sometimes Blue, but not like you.
Because I'm not a monster

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

Not quite sure yet
What I want to be
But so much pressure
Just to get my degree

I’m young and free
Even crazy and wild
Don’t you even dare
To treat me like a child

Though I can’t help but think
Where will I be in 10 years?
Will I finally have courage,
to face my worst fears?

Will I still have my boyfriend,
who I’ve been with?
Do high school sweethearts
exist, or is that just a myth?

Should I go get drunk,
this weekend with my friends?
I got invited to another party
The fun never ends

Wait I’m kind of insecure
About my body and weight
Why am I still awake?
It’s getting pretty late

Yet I still haven’t started
Any of my homework
Who cares anyway though
I mean my teacher’s a ****

I’m under so much pressure
Because I’ve got to graduate
But you try being a teenager
In a world filled with hate

Overthinking killed the teenager
And that teenager is I
Overthinking every thought
And I don’t know *why

No need to thank me
That's what he said
But I wanted to
- that was a lie.
I didn't just want to thank you
I wanted to run and scream and tell the world your praises
Why?
You made me smile
When I was starting to forget what it looked like.

is it alright?
would you be okay?
if i finally told you
what i think i need to say

is it okay?
would it be alright?
if staying meant missing my departing flight

would you mind?
if i boldly confessed
the words that have been buried
in this cavernous chest

if its not spoken, let it be read
i wish you didn’t exist
beautifully, but only in my head

does it hurt to hear it?
it hurts to say
‘i love you, darling’
escaped in a midnight whisper and tragically flew away

You betrayed me a few months ago
When I needed you to come to my rescue
The way you used to
When my world felt like it was collapsing
That was your cue
But you never came through
And now I need you