Me? I am "The One That Got Away," you say.
You? The one who took too long.
Us? Never going to happen; a thing in the past.
Do I ever stray away from reality and think about the "what ifs"?
Of course.
But that's in another life.
In another life, I might be yours.
But I think about the things I wouldn't have if I ended up with you.
Most importantly, my son.
He plays a crucial role in the woman I have been shaped into today.
I can never give that up.
Any children I may have had with you wouldn't have shaped me in the way my little boy has.
I love my husband. I really do.
Were we a wrong fit for each other at one point?
Absolutely.
But in the two years he and I were split up, I prayed for him every single day.
I prayed that he'd better himself.
Not for me.
Not even for our son. (Although that was very helpful)
But for HIMSELF.
He was miserable with the life he was living.
I truly believe I was placed in his life for a reason.
As he was for me.
So, sorry.
For now.
And probably forever.
I will remain...
THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

I find you in the darkest place
of my mind.
The one I wander at 3 am
sleepless at night.
Where my dreams
slowly die.
You ended up there,
no need to ask why.

Now I realize
I'm the one I've been waiting for.
And I know I'm more
than what meets the eye.
Now I declare false
half of the things that I swore.
I will furnish you
with all the thoughts I go by.
Now I understand
my mind's state of war
and I sincerely admit
the feelings I used to deny.
Now I'm standing,
feet bleeding, peaceful postwar.
Sometimes the aching
seems to magnify.
This awareness grows
inside me like a tumor
but I won't turn around
nor say goodbye.
Even if my soul
is deep sore,
even if my eyes
I cannot dry,
even if I'm kneeling
on the floor
my survival strength
you will identify.
And I will be
my own God to adore;
I'll pray to myself
not to the sky.
There's a fire
originating deep down my core.
Through this rising flames
I'll be purified.
And you'll wonder
how I stand strong
when I used to be
the weakest inside.
I'll tell you this,
and no more,
it's possible
once you control your mind.