I have got this  idea,
a stupid wish, a nonsensical desire
of being in a car accident.
Hear me, I want you to.

I prefer to be in the backseat,
seat belt on, and a frequent mannerism
of looking down, in front
on the driver's dashboard. I do that,
I always want to know the speed
and how fast the others outside this space
of metal and cushion. I don't want to be the driver,
knowing myself, I would not get myself into one.
I am a safe *****, that is all.
Then, here goes nothing -
I want the car to crash. I still haven't made my mind
on where or what are we going to crash.
Maybe a wall. Maybe another car. Maybe a post.
I want it to be something solid, but not alive.
Trees are the exceptions. I want the car
to kiss that solid thing, head on.

I don't want the pain that may come along,
I don't want to call it a near death experience,
I want that instant where -
everything seems unreal
or too real my head would not be able to
understand. I want that portion of time
where I decide do I close my eyes or not,
that moment that I will have my life question itself.
And I don't wish death I don't wish to live, either.
Just that moment, where I could think
how instantaneous life can be.
I want that tick of the clock
the clashing of realities and dimensions..

I want that moment,
I need to feel that moment of being just between death and life
where everything doesn't matter anymore, but I still know
they exist.

I have this stupid idea,
nothing so important, nothing so surreal
but to wish this
is the demand I am willing
to pursue.

Valiant are you who fought and fell gloriously;
fearless of those who were everywhere victorious.
Blameless, even if Diaeos and Critolaos were at fault.
When the Greeks want to boast,
"Our nation turns out such men" they will say
of you. And thus marvellous will be your praise. --

Written in Alexandria by an Achaean;
in the seventh year of Ptolemy Lathyrus.

Material objects tempt you
To leave your mildewy rags in the rearview
I know who can help you, he'll be here soon
Meaning he's arriving you just gotta sign this
Contractually obligating your silence
It's not science
Even a blind ***** would find this
Excitin'
See he's taken an interest in ya thighs
and how ya roll ya eyes like you know it all
But trust me when the dough's involved no ya don't

Your just tossing out them bills
Throwing em out like it gives you a thrill
Gives me chills, when the heats shut off
Coughing and coughing, I'm getting sick
Waiting on that ****, lickity split
Pass it around, I'm losing it
This ******* piling higher, I'm getting higher
Jumping out the window like that **** on fire
Waiting on a refund for all the time spent
No dimes or dollars even make a dent
Remorseful, with a side of content

Wait up ***** aint they raisin your rent
You need a sugar daddy not a diabetic
Let him take away your woes with a couple franklins
Getcha takin off clothes at his banks expense
Sayin that you bad, need a spankin then
And since you want attention this is what you get
Hard **** and love are two different things
but watch me blur the lines like the drink you sip
I've never been good with relationships  
And I lie tryna hide I'm fake as ****
But come to the bedroom
Got money and head room just so we dont drown when the blankets wet
Afterwards you smoke get your makeup fixed
Ask about bank while I take a ****
Throw you twenty to make complaining quit
Do i smell like money, honey?
Take a whiff

I smell something, it aint no money
You wanna play?
Imma need more than some stacks
and some grass to want yo ***
This aint no game of tic tac toe
Three in a row aint gonna beat my woes
You're reaping what you sow
Can't just throw out them bills no mo
It's rich, but you're not
You thought you had what you bought
But I walked, watch your wallet
Cause it can't cash your *******
This aint a relationship
Save it, I aint falling for ****
You aint having it your way
But I'm lovin it

Two words today
IM HAPPY (:

you are the poem etched in her heart but was never written
you are the song stuck in her head but was never sang
you are her favorite book but was never read

you are the i love you that was never spoken
you are her greatest secret
you will forever be left unsaid
..
..
..
it's stupid that you don't want to reach out on things you want to hold
it's frustrating that the noblest feelings are always held back
it's disappointing that the greatest stories are willingly left untold