If I even began to try and tell you how much I love you, this wouldn't ever end.
I love you more now than when I was your best friend.

Despite what people may think about the love that we both share,
Its something that I'm proud of  and unafraid to declare.

Right now, its 3:40 and I'm unable to go back to sleep,
I'm thinking about you and the promise I just can't keep.

I'm sorry I can't seem to stay up to read to you as I said,
I'm sorry that you have to face these thoughts within my head.

But baby, if there's anything I know for sure is true,
Its that despite my actions, I'm hopelessly in love with you.

You've been here for me since day one and you've never let me down,
You talk and make me smile when all I know is how to frown.

And if you couldn't see it, or if you doubt its truth,
If, like other people, you start to doubt such love for youths,

I really just need to tell you, as I lay awake in bed,
All the time, its mostly you that resides within my head.

I know that this is cheesy, writing a silly little jig,
Its as though we're both little, passing notes just like we're kids.

But it seems that, for some reason, the words, they flow tonight.
Its the first time in a long time I've been able to just write.

I feel that now is perfect, to explain to you these things,
That make me feel worse than the worst of all my dreams.

You see, if there's anything I'm good at, its writing things like this,
The words, they flow much easier. It kind of brings me bliss.

Baby, let me tell you of the things that make me cry,
Like when I get alone, sometimes I wish that id just die.

Or sometimes, out of nowhere, I just stare and fight back tears,
Because I think of silly things that happened through the years.

Sometimes, on occasion, I even think of you,
I know that its upsetting that sometimes I doubt what's true.

And even still, there's more to tell.
Some things that make me yell.

Like people like my mom and dad,
Who make just living hell.

But baby, if there's anything I've learned now not to doubt,
Its that this love is genuine; you, I can't live without.

And baby, if that's not genuine or if you still can't see,
Think of how you see me, and multiply by three.

That's how I feel about you, although its much much more.
For you, Id be your everything. Id be who you adore.

What makes this thing that we've both special and unique,
Is that we can love each other without kisses on the cheek.

At our age, it seems silly, stupid or naive,
That's what people tell me when I say when I will leave.

But they can't seem to see you in the way that I just do,
They can't seem to tell that I'm desperate to be with you.

Baby, I love you, of this I'm extremely sure.
Baby, you're my everything and still you so much more.

So now I've told you everything, of why my mood just drops,
I've told you of what I think of when I'm crushed by rocks.

I've tried to tell you how I feel, the words aren't flowing freely,
It seems that for now its time for my talent to start to leave me.

So baby, keep your head up now and smile all today,
Don't forget about the words that I always can say.

Baby, I love you, don't forget, now, I'm heading back to sleep.
Thanks for being the only one who doesn't scream "black sheep."

All hail the heartbreaker,

Silent, he’s the king

Of all things that come naturally

When breaking hearts of teens.



All hail the heartbreaker

Bow before it’s late.

For he shall find another

When you were his first date.



All must hail the heartbreaker.

He’s the master of this game.

He got you hook, line, and sinker,

Then left your heart with shame.



So all hail the heartbreaker.

For when he finds his queen,

She’ll break the heart of the one

Who broke the hearts of teens.

There are chips in her armor, like a porcelain doll's face.

Her eyes are dull with a heartless sort of grace.

She's falling through the cracks like a little blade of grass.

She's falling through the cracks, oh, she's falling very fast.

The girl has a name that she wishes to be called.

She has a personality that no one can recall.

Who was she really, truthfully? Did we really know?

And why was it that no one knew just where it was she'd go?

This girl's been crying quite a lot, her eyes are proof of that.

She criticizes her imperfections and tugs at baby fat.

"Why can't I be pretty? Why can't they notice me?"

"Why can't I be the girl of which he is so deserving?"

The best thing about having dark skin is that the scars camouflage themselves,
That you don't fit into the pale-skin-dark-clothes-slit-wrists stereotype
That you're more likely to be profiled as a criminal than "emo,"
so no one ever bothers to check anyways.
The best thing about having dark skin is that my burns heal,
they leave barely noticeable discolorations in my dark skin.
That only I can make out the slight change in shade from brown to browner.
And maybe you could too, if you squint a little.
Maybe, just maybe you'd see the dark brown stripes
painted permanently against my even browner wrists.
The best part about having dark skin
Is that no one checks your wrists,
because everyone is too busy looking at your curly hair,
your big nose,
your big lips.
"are you on welfare?"
"do you use food stamps?"
"do you eat watermelon and kool-aid
with a side of fried chicken?"
Because no one ever stops to think
that black girls
would ever think about hurting themselves, too.

My poor heart, it's betrayed me.

It's tearing at the seams.

And my tired little fingers are

reaching for lost dreams.



The little girl I used to be,

She's fading every day.

I wish that I could bring her back,

with words still left to say.



Little girl with tears so large,

they start to flood the floors.

She gasps for breath and grabs her chest,

trying to unlock the doors.

I typed in your name into the "To" box,

the same as I do everyday.

I started to send you the familiar hi,

but forgot the promise to stay away.

I now remember the words that I'd screamed

when I told you to leave me alone.

I thought it'd be better for the two of us if,

I'd expressed my need for you to begone.

But now I'm here sitting, regretting those words,

although what we had was taboo.

There never was meant to be what we had,

there should never have been me and you.

You tell me of what your name could've been,

had you been the child that Devil wanted.

Your name would've been simply, "Ivan."

Your achievements, he would've flaunted.



But you're not the child you would've been,

Instead you're something new.

And despite his harsh and crushing words,

I'm extremely proud of you.

Standing atop the hill where we both saw it all;
The sun beat down on our faces as we stood tall.

The two of us knew everything we had to know,
and we knew every place where we had yet to go.

There and forever, it was only just us.
No matter what happened it would not break our trust.

Here and now, forever, somehow,
You swore to me you would keep that vow.

The only thing that could deter our determined faces,
as we took steps in our baby paces,

was the fear of the past and fear of the unknown.
Fear of things that were so far gone.

But as I stood there and around yours, my fingers curled,
I realized we were on top of the world.

Love is that boy that means so much to you but so little to everyone else.

Love is that boy that had to sign his signature in court but couldn't write in cursive.

Love is the boy that spent his hard earned money on a birthday gift for you when he needs to eat for the week.

Love is the boy that calls you beautiful despite the way your stomach pokes out over your jeans or your thighs rub together and jiggle when you walk.

Love is the gentle look in his eyes when he stares at you like stars never existed and you're a constellation in the night sky.

Love is the way he grins for you despite being self-conscious about his teeth.  

Love is the way he childishly stuffs soccer ***** up his shirt to make you laugh despite the way your friends make fun of him.

Love is when you still keep that note from him in your wallet even though you broke up over a year ago.

How is she beautiful with eyes like ice?

And hips like a harlot that makes boys think thrice?

How does she do it, with a waist only inches,

a dainty little thing with a voice like a finch's.

Little miss perfect, they stop and they stare,

waiting for the perfect chance to see her bare.

They don't know her secret, though,

They don't know her like I know.

When you look at me, I just don't see,

the person that I saw last week.

The love is gone, my light forlorn,

my being is consumed by hate and scorn.

How could you say what you dared to,

something you swore you'd never do?

I'm sorry dear, I'm too far gone,

It's time right now to move along.

It rained today in Roanoke;
I got some peace of mind.
It cleansed the headache and my heart
From all I’d kept inside.

The rain today in Roanoke,
It seemed to ease my pain.
All the anger and frustration;
All the work I’d done in vain.

The clouds, they wept in Roanoke.
I’m happy with the grey.
I can’t dance in the sunshine
If we never have some rain.

Thank you, sky in Roanoke.
I’m ready for this fight.
I think all that I needed was
A little time to cry.

-k.c.