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 Nov 2014 Julie Butler
Wanderer
I once dreamed of tracing Ghost lines
Now I do in waking life
Shadows catching shape and form of those missing
From those left behind
By candle light you are whispered
When gloaming lays still in the chilled evening air
I remember an autumn, not long ago
That made all those before it
Pale
On Equinox morning I became a wife
Two and a half years later I lost that life
Words fall short
Your arms never squeeze tight enough
hold close enough
Those that hurt
I am not made of paper mâché
I am steel, spider silk, diamond bright
With alligator skin that is all too thin
Don't ask me if I am okay
That word no longer plays a part
Focus on the silver lining
*Not on your broken heart
I want to dump the junk
hurl the hassle
and know for sure
it’s nothing more
than ancient garbage
hanging heavy
on my shoulders
To relate to suffering
is to understand
the heart of the world
to write of it
becomes the union of humanity
Writing the words
the emptying
of my emotional recycle bin

I pour them out
with intent to demolish
to remove the evidence
the unwanted remembrance
the devastation
that threatens to unravel my sanity
 Nov 2014 Julie Butler
Carolin
The fire made
a home in me.
If I tell you to come
and see would you
stay and burn with
me. We'll be brighter
than any star up in the
galaxy. Our light will
shine for an eternity.
Have a seat and drink
your whiskey beside me.
While I'll tell you how all
this could turn into reality* ~
Let
long lusted to write a work
of which
on the top of the screwtop
poem wine bottle
was writ
"Let"

I know, no denying,
better artistes
have done it,
so you counsel

let it be,

but can't,
no letting
go of what has
emboldened me,
taken hold of me,
the infinite possibilities of
Let

within me,
endless storage,
a room for you to
let

me keep safe keep quiet
whatever you need,
that stuff you don't want
but can't yet disown,
the ashamed,
the not ready to be released,
the best work not ready quite,
a fine tuning required,
even secrets most intimate

let
me be your safe keeper,
until you need a safecracker
to let what you need to
let
go,
go free when
the letting is good

let
let be your verb,
your object,
don't matter to me

let
us escape,
to a better place

let
us through,
pass onto level next

let
me,
rent me, use me, I am
property tangible

let
me contract you, let me a poem,
give me the work I've commissioned
and let it please

let
us know the truth, the truth of you

let!
me see you truly!
let!
us go together!
let!
us try it,
let us be an us!

let

all the lets in our blood boil,

let
us make a list and
let
it become the goodly best

and yes,

let
it be,
the end-let possibilities!
Is my heart a petty thing
You are a petty crook
You steal glances at me
My heart is one of many you took

Goodnight used to have luster
When it was shared between our lips
Now you fall to her
Her seductive smile; the curve of her hips

Is my trust a petty thing
Or have I mistook
The truth we shared the lies she told
You reeled me in on a hook

Love her but remember me
One day you'll be wishing
To know where I'll be
I'm long gone on daybreak dawn
Nowhere to be seen
I've always searched for a home
a place I belonged, where I felt safe

I've never experienced this kind of home

but as I sit still each morning listening to my breath,
I am coming home to myself as I settle into a
silence of heart and mind
an interior home of the heart that's always with me
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