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I don't want to have to pretend to be happy, I just feel so ******,All i am is a wannabe poet and you know it, my pain i try not to show it but it all comes out when i put pen to paper, i fight the pain i take a blade a slit my wrist Then i aim my fist at the wall Punching till my knuckles bleed, I have a lot of troubles in my life, But i they go away when i have that knife cutting into my skin, and i want to be thin so i starve myself and purge, all that is left is the urge to hurt myself Or to insert that blade into my flesh ripping myself to ribbons, and i know i won't be forgiven for my sins, there's so many things in my life that i could do without,and it looks like im out of luck, but i couldn't give a **** this pain i'm used to it, it's over for me
Sometimes you must
Hurt in order to Know
Lose in order to Gain
Fall in order to grow
Because most of life's lessons are learned through Pain
Her
She brings the smile back to my face
It's not a race let's take this slow i don't wanna lose you
But she takes the blues from my life
She takes the knife from my hands
This is my final stand and i take it with her
When we are together all i see is a blur
And i will never tear our tether
Im feeling really happy today thanks for everyone's support on my "poetry" i haven't been writing for long and i find that it is a stress relief for me <3 you all
 Feb 2018 Jey Blu
Lizzie
Work in class they say. Do what you're supposed to do they say. Well they seem to say a lot of ******* things. They say sometimes we need to do things to feel, a way to express, but they don't really care about what your need or feel is. They want you to be what they want and what they want to see. Nothing changes unless you try and initiate that change. Some people think that death is the most sought after thing for relief they don't really want to end it forever they just want to feel and they want to end the hurt, the pain, or just their thoughts. They just want relief that's all it is. People look at addictions and they see them as foul and derogatory, but the people who have them see it as an escape from the world or from their minds. That's what most of them are. We can't be a shadow forever.
Wrote this last year...
Courtney you and i have been friends forever , And i will never sever our tether, although at time you are my aggressor the love i have for you has no measure, I will lock you in my cellar during the cold weather, together we are best friends
 Feb 2018 Jey Blu
Cana
3am
 Feb 2018 Jey Blu
Cana
3am
3am. It’s alive.
a faster beating heart
It’s the whir of the air conditioning
Removing the heat and leaving the sticky sludge over the soul
deep breaths to calm
blades to sever thick ship lines to the past.
It’s the drip of the cat fountain.
3am it’s a brutal hour, it’s a painful hour,
It’s a dead hour.
A collection of words I found written on my phone. I don’t remember the process or when it was written. Just that it was.
 Feb 2018 Jey Blu
Thoughtsonpaper
If a girl is hopelessly crying in a forest and no one is around to hear her, did she actually cry?

All that you’ve heard about Rapunzel is pure lies.
She had jet black hair, that was darker than the midnight sky.
Entirely broken inside, waiting to end her life.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you what really happened tonight
Grab a delicious treat and something sweet to drink.
Before I wish you a goodnight’s sleep.

Once upon a time there was a young girl named Rapunzel
Since the age of ten she had been locked away in a monstrous tower.
Kept in chains by her demons all day.
They liked to play games with her mental state.

One of the games included, Simon Says.
Simon Says, cut a blade through your wrist.
Simon Says, bang your head against the brick wall,
Until you begin bleeding and start to fall.
She hated Simon Says,
But she always obeyed what they said.

Mother Gothel was an antagonist; a myth.
Rapunzel made her up in her mind to have someone to blame,
For all the wretched pain which she endured everyday.

Loneliness became her closest friend
As she sat alone in a cobwebbed den.
Listening to the clock ‘tick tock’ in her head
Over again like a broken record.
Making her want to rip her hair out to shreds.

The voices screaming in her head made her psychotic.
No one cared about this depressive girl,
More than they did about summer rain.
They all couldn’t see her suffering, so it didn’t matter.
Instead they threw her in a tower, an architect built.
So her mind could rot in tiny pieces, lying still.

One day a boy named Flynn came into the mix.
He loved her with all his heart; they could never be apart.
When he was around, her eyes light up.
Forgetting the misery that came after dark

Tomorrow came along.

Rapunzel was found sobbing in her fragile pale hands.
“Leave me alone!”, she screamed in terror with her eyes closed shut.
Shaking uncontrollably, while the rain and tears flowed as one.
Just like the river she wanted to drown herself in.

Flynn gently helped her to her feet in panic.
The electricity still flowing through her entire body.
“I love you.” he softly whispered into her ear.
“I love you!” he says with passion and honesty.
Her breathing slowly came to a halt, after hearing him speak.
He made her believe that life had some meaning.

Her soul now feels at peace
She looks at him with pure sincerity  
He whips her tears away, “I’ll never leave you”.
A promise he can never keep.
“I love you too”, she says with ease.
Their eyes meet together, as they laugh in unison.
Lips softly meet as one; the night has just began.
This is the happiest Rapunzel has ever been in years,
Too bad it will all suddenly disappear.



It was all an illusion.
Rapunzel suffered from Schizophrenia.
Flynn was a figment of her imagination.
An escape from her cruel reality she faced.
The townspeople didn’t want to deal with her mental illness.
So they washed her away, to be left astray.

People hate what they don’t understand,
So everyday for eight years she sat freezing in sorrow.
While her demons devoured her spirit.
Incapable of love and affection.
With a hollow chest where her heart should be.

In order to cope with the ‘life’ she was living,
Her mind made up Flynn.
Though they were madly in love; he was a fairytale.
As years went by depression ate her whole.
She died alone, in a pitch black room.
No light seeping in, with nobody to love and hold her.
To tell her everything will be okay,
And keep her heart beating in place.

If a girl dies alone in a tower, where everyone hates her, and no one is around to witness her death: did she actually exist?
The End.
I dedicate this poem to my childhood self. You deserved and deserve better. For all the sunny days people shattered with grey clouds.

I hope this poem means as much to you as it does to me. Don't stop until your reach "The End". I promise you won't regret it. I swear.
 Feb 2018 Jey Blu
morgan
ready
 Feb 2018 Jey Blu
morgan
i'm ready to go home now
a real home
where i feel weightless
where i feel free
where my stomach doesn't hurt
and my bones don't ache
and i feel warm
and you are their to feel it with me
because you deserve a new skeleton star girl
i love you, do you love me?
 Feb 2018 Jey Blu
DancingEnt
I get embarrassed when you read my poems
And you know they're about you.
I get shy and nervous and scared you'll run away.
I don't have the words to say
How much I love you
But I try when I write to you
Things I think you'll never read
And then you see them and my head spins.

Is it too much? Can you love someone too much?
Is my love intimidating? Probably.
There's a lot of it to give.
But if it's intimidating to you then maybe
You don't deserve it.
Maybe

Are you overwhelmed by your love for me, too?
Never have I loved someone with my whole heart before you.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!
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