I'm gonna give up this fight
you never once laid your hands on.

— I'll surrender the hopes I fight with

His fingertips were dripping with honey and he danced through a pool  of milk on weekends.

Yet on one Saturday afternoon; grey and gloomy, he swooned and drowned in that same pool of milk.

I  could not save him so love letters sat waiting, buried at the bottom of that ivory white tub when drained.

He was waiting on  me.

His fingers bled and left the pages sticky when writing. His fingers bled with honey and my eyes began to fill with tears.

He told me all his biggest fears yet I never listened.

showed me all his darkest secrets and scars but I never looked.

And now those love letters, sappy apology notes from something he never did wrong wrapped it’s fingers around my wrist made scars as deep as his and now it’s too hard to  read them.

You know, cuz it’s covered honey and drenched in milk much like my ivory white tub is now.

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

My  demons are coming back....
My mind is going against me....
My friends are fading away.....
I’m losing myself again.....
I’m trying please help......
I’m killing myself help.....

I only loved you
when it was
Convenient
I'm really sorry
that I  didn't think
of you
( When it really mattered.)
What's the matter with my
soul? It isn't correct
but nothing feels wrong.

I feel something , I don't know
if it's "sorry".

Looking into the void.
I think I seen you.

Reached out.
We met again.

For the first time.

It was love


Possibly maybe.

holding on to right now.


Frozen. your face perfection.

Eyes closed.

Waiting so anxiously for you
to open them.

You don't.
   My heart arrested by your beauty.
   Shatters when you chose not
   to look at me.



I don't feel any signs of growing.