me? am i lost?
what are you talking about. i have two feet firmly planted in the earth. i know where my toes dig best into the soil. i know how to move with the winds. how to flow like the rivers. just because i am a thousand miles from your home and heart does not mean i am lost does not mean i am not content.
my lover’s lover is beautiful.
her skin is soft, and clean. her hair is made of rays of light, her songs are from the sea. my lover’s lover is wonderful, her laugh is bright and clear. her body dances like fire sparks he's lost when she is near. my lover’s lover was there first, truly, i cannot lie. though i was his second choice, somehow i thought he'd try. my lover loves her more then me, for my lover has good taste. i just wish i could've be the one to maybe take her place.
i want to say so many things
but a kiss from you turns my tongue to lead and i cannot dream when you are in my bed i cannot hear when you are in my ears and i cannot cry when you are still in my eyes i cannot tell you anything, darling my sweet, my dear, i cannot give you the words i want to share cannot give you the love in my bones for fear that you could not hold it i will sing in whispered tongues as you dream; i will mourn you before you leave
i am a sunny sky
when you need an umbrella and i am the morning frost when you pray for summertime i am the crashing waves when you rest in the meadows i am the moon to your meteor shower and maybe i will know you one more time
hunger did nothing for me.
it gave me no new growth, it did not give me strength for my bones, it did not fill me with wonder and longing. hunger could not stay with me. it romances with tiny spaces and the idea of belonging, but my stomach growls louder than the wolves outside my bed. i stretch, i shrink, i swallow; hunger could not fill me up, hunger cannot take up space, hunger cannot hold my body in my bed at night and tell me it’s all going to be okay. i swallow you, hunger, i cast you out, hunger gave me nothing and i loved her as nothing, too.
thank you for not loving me.
it made me burn myself and learn that trees can live when fire has hollowed them out and that forests regrow after the flames come. and that sometimes, destruction can be a darling lover, bringing beauty back to the forest floor, dappled light on ferns, and trees reaching to the sky - thank you for not loving me. it made me reach my arms up, to see if i can go anywhere near as high.