They'll cry at your birth but not your funeral.
Don't worry honey for they don't know your worth.
They'll stop you from learning yet call you dumb.
Don't worry honey for they are themselves illiterate.
They'll cage you in and blame you for being a pet.
Don't worry honey for they are not birds as well.
They'll call you a **** while they'll have too many girlfriends.
Don't worry honey for they are all hypocrites.
They'll **** your dreams and call you weak.
Don't worry honey for your stronger than they think.
They'll wed you off without asking your consent.
Don't worry honey for they'll surely regret.
They'll take away your voice and call themselves right.
Don't worry honey for barking dogs seldom bite.
They'll break you down and collect sympathies.
Don't worry honey for God is watching silently.

And if you ever wonder, Why me?
Don't worry honey for they do it all out of envy.

when i think about my future
all i see
is an old women with white hair
and crumbled skin
sitting near the fire
with a typewriter and a cup of tea
and dogs of every kind
sleeping around her
as she writes her life down
for the last time.

Tonight I am calling out all the creative souls who have seen this world from a different eye.

Tonight I invite you to celebrate your gifts as we'll all get drunk around the fire.

Tonight I want you to let yourselves dance freely, leaving your worldly bodies behind.

Tonight I assure you that this world will witness a cluster of stars shining in the sky.

today in the market of the brutal and tyrant
where people decide to play God
a life was lost to a hospital fees
humanity died
a father cried
it was just a matter of
two hundred and twenty rupees.

Dr. Zahid always came up with logical explanations
whenever his patients shared their dreams.

Until the day his little daughter walked into his clinic
and covered in colors, showed him her first painting.

Instead of collecting
coins in their piggy banks,
They were the children who
collected wishes and dreams.
There was no sound heard
when they shook their boxes
Only some innocent smiles
on their faces were seen.

The red drops of blood sat there on the white crystals, creating a master piece worth sharing in a museum.
The artist stood nearby holding the dagger that served as a paint brush to paint those beautiful strokes. And like every artist, he signed his art work but by his ****** fingerprints.
Her dead body was frozen underneath the layers of the snowfall that kept her warm.


He turned her into an undiscovered art.

I have seen people fall in love and die in love
they look beautiful, they look satisfied
even when in pain, they look at you with smiles
I never understood the mystery behind
until I fell in love, (yes I did once in my life)

I fell in love when I wrote my first words
I fell in love when they formed into a rhyme
I fell in love when I read it again
God, I swear I never fell more in love
than I did when I began to write.

They ask me,
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I look around and say,
"Anything but these who call themselves adults."

How does it feels,
When you fight against yourself?
How much it hurts,
When you can't fight well?
How does it feels,
When you raise sword in defense?
How much it hurts,
When those wounds start to swell?
How does it feels,
When you have no hope to conquer?
How much it hurts,
When you can't control any longer?
How does it feels,
When it slips from your hands?
How much it hurts,
When you can't hold it back?
How does it feels,
When your opponent gets stronger?
How much it hurts,
When you are forced to surrender?


In the battle field,
I whispered silently,
"I am tired of fighting
*Fighting every time against me"

"i pray that you always stay happy"
my mama used to say every night
whenever i would jump in my bed
before kissing her goodnight.
"mama will i always be happy and never sad?"
"yes my love, i have told God that."
------
i sometimes wonder why mama never told me
the harsh realities of this world instead of
filling my head with all those sweet dreams.
------
"i pray that you always stay happy"
i said to my child while putting her to sleep
she kissed me good night and clutched her teddy
"mama will i always be happy and never sad?"

i look at her, her innocent face
wondering that is how my mama would have seen me

i smile and brush her hair off her eyes
"no my love, you will not always be happy
you will have to face a lot in life
you'll have to laugh but also cry
but i have told God that
i have told Him to make my baby strong
so she can face everything alone"

Let me tell you a secret, I hope you keep it to yourself
I try not to show it so often but I guess I am depressed
Oh no, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it unload my burden on you
I was just having this feeling and I didn’t know what to do

You see at first I thought it was just a bad day
That I’d stay in and watch some movies and be okay
But then it became a bad week, and then a bad month
And slowly I lost the count of the days, I felt worthless

I was doing everything that I did as usual but
the time slowed down and the pictures started to lose colors
At first I thought it was just me
but then the whole world started to seem blur

The most difficult task became getting out of bed every day
So I started staying in, sleeping or just lying down
thinking it was just a day off, a much needed break
but little did I know it would gradually become my escape

I tried “reaching out” to the people around me
who posted on social media that they can help and ****
but I didn’t want to just load it all on someone
so I tried to be subtle, indirectly leaving some hints.

People thought it was for the trend, I was being cool
They handed me more bricks to build a stronger wall
From being away from God to being delusional
I heard it all.

I didn’t realize when I began losing people
Maybe it was the wall that kept them out or
maybe they just didn’t want to have someone like me around
someone who they’d talk about later of course.

I see I’ve been speaking since some time now
And you look tired and bored of me
Wait, let me tell you a joke or two
anything you want, please just don’t leave.

I’m stupid?
Yes! Of course.
I’m so stupid that I’d try to **** myself
by jumping from the ground floor.

Did that make you laugh? Oh I’m glad!
I hope you didn’t notice how badly I wanted to say
top floor instead of ground floor
because that would have only scared you away.

So I was telling you about how people left me alone
They didn't understand my isolation and coldness were just
attempts to find someone to hold onto during the storm
but instead I became invisible just like this poem

I couldn’t blame them though, I never would
You can’t force people to be there for you
No matter how much you want to
No matter how much they should.

I understood them despite all the dark clouds around me
I could see their fears, their thoughts, their priorities
Everyone had a right to have someone better
But they were just afraid to end up on the letter

They didn't realize how they weren't supposed to cure me
They just had to be kinder and show some empathy
But that's alright, sometimes they need it themselves too
Maybe that's why I try to be always there because I've walked in those shoes.

Instead of filling our hearts with hatred and disgust
We should look around, we all are humans
We should understand each others' pain, make them feel okay
We should try to make sure that their bad days are just bad days.

Life's too short to regret when it's too late
You can't spend it living in a state of what ifs
What if I had just called her and asked her how she was?
What if I had just stayed there when she tried to cut everyone off?

Oh, is it time for you to go?
I guess I should too.
Thank you for listening to me
I hope this stays between me and you.

Just to feel better, he smoked his life away and now I am left here, picking up pieces of him from his ashtray.

"Sir, do you know that lady in black?"

A volcano erupted, a glacier melted.
The world came crashing down on him.
The time stopped and he got lost
In a flashback of the memories
that he had buried.
A candle danced, his animal advanced.
Every single wall turned into dust.
In the dark, he lost his guard
and loved her till
he fulfilled his lust.
The fire stub out, minds filled with doubt.
The space between them started to grow.
He aimed the darts and broke her heart.
She entered the darkness
and turned all cold.

"I am sorry sir, but I don't think I know her."

"I am yours." he whispered as he kissed me to prove
But her taste on his lips told a more bitter truth.

On a board with wheels, I roll myself around
on the streets of this city
from dusk till dawn.
I observe how people travel in
expensive cars and wear better clothes
yet they look troubled to me
whereas I find happiness
on the side of the road
where I sit all day and beg
for some money.
With the help of my hands
I push the wheels for I don't have
working legs.
But I don't complain
at least I am blessed with the rest.

To forget me he'd have to leave his body
For I have carved my love deep in his veins.

I collect stones from the places I visit. It's like a bargaining thing. I give that place some part of my soul, a sweet memory and in return I keep a stone.
I like to believe that when I'll be gone, these stones on my grave will guide you to all the places I have ever been to so you can visit them and hear tales about me from the winds of different lands.

I smile as I whisper your name to myself
It raises a pleasuring pain somewhere deep
I wonder if my name buries you alive too
Cause darling, you are the one who lost me.

if you ever see me again, in some market or a street
don't try to come near, i might have already moved on
i might be having a good day, i might be more happy.

if you ever see me again, in some mall or a shop
don't try to talk to me, i might not respond to your hello
i might not acknowledge your presence, i might not even look at you

if you ever see me again, in some restaurant or a cafe
don't try to look at me twice, i might be with someone else
i might be in love more than before, i might not even remember you well.

if you ever see me again
just smile and move on
like you always did.

And when the storm came
I crashed into myself
like the ocean waves.

She took her clothes off and stepped into the hot bath tub. The water when touched her skin, scrapped off the dust. The naked flesh of the wounds stung but the pain was sweet. For hours she tried to drown herself in the tub of her sins.
The water may have cleaned her but all those fragment oils could not remove his scent from her skin.

It was not a pleasant day, I’ll agree to that
When another nightmare woke me up from sleep.
I looked around to see where I was
I was not sure if it was real or another dream.

I picked up my phone and walked outside.
And what I saw, I couldn’t believe my eyes.
I saw everyone lying; injured or dead .
God! It was a horrible sight to witness.

A thick red air was what I was breathing.
I looked around to find traces of reality.
“It’s another nightmare.” I kept telling myself.
As I tried to find a way to wake up again.

An old woman stared me as if I was the culprit.
I felt so guilty that I wanted to escape.
But there was no way so I climbed up to the roof.
I thought, “That’s how I’ll know the truth.”

I woke up again but in a hospital this time
With a pain so intense, I thought I was dying.
“What is wrong with her?” someone asked the doctor.
“Poor little girl, she has lost her mind.”

i remember there was a thunderstorm that night
those flickering candles and the scent of the rain
something more intense was happening inside
on that old couch in the backyard studio
with paint on your hands you were painting me right
eyes closed, lips locked, i could feel each stroke
of your scrappy fingertips on my thighs
the sky roared furiously and so did you
waking up the demons that had long died
i wanted more; both you and the storm
i wanted just some more time

I never understood her.
But then she was never meant to be understood.
She made the complexity and confusion look like a beauty itself.
The craziness around her was too much for anyone to handle.
No one believed in her but me.


*I called her my Wonderland.

I've met many men in my life
and not all the men are the same.
They are like a fruit basket
Berries and bananas, apples and grapes.

Some men like their coffees darker.
Some men like their beds unmade.
Some men like to smoke all night.
Some men like to drink all day.
Some men like their women with curves.
Some men like their women fake.
Some men like to hide their smiles.
Some men like to hide their pain.

I've met many men in my life
and not all the men are the same.
They are like a fruit basket
Berries and bananas, apples and grapes.

last night, i lost myself in the darkest of the places
in my mind which even my demons avoid
i stepped in the alley and couldn't find my way back
i ruined everything, turned it all into a wreck
you tried to help me but i pulled you instead
i am sorry my love, i didn't mean to hurt
but i had no control, it just happened.
look at me once and you'll see
i am a ticking bomb, you deserve better than me
this is my place, the dark hole in nowhere
i can't let you live here along forever
i am selfish and i don't want you to leave
but you can't stay here, understand it please
run away, run away before i drag you back
run away and forget this awful place

Does it make you look better in the mirror?
Or gives you a peaceful sleep at night?
Do you taste power and glory on your tongue?
Or does it add up to the mountain of your pride?
Does it make you feel powerful?
Or wins you the treasure of the world?
Do you achieve the freedom to do everything?
Or does it make you indestructible?
I am trying to understand how it feels to be a man
I am trying to understand how this is supposed to be
Are men something superior than the humans?
Or are they the humans only?

it's over four and he calls me on my phone.
i wake up from sleep asking him if he is alright
he says no word and just deeply sighs.
his breathing is rough, he pretends to be tough
i feel helpless, i want to help him, i want to love
but there is just a grim silence
i ask him "what's up?"
"nothing" he says "sorry to disturb"
"hey it's okay, we can talk if you want"
i sense his voice shaking, he is scared and lonely
i figure that he needs someone
"she left me" he cries "she left me after everything"
it breaks my heart and ignites a fire
i want to tell him that i can love him better
i want to tell him that i won't leave him ever
but i find no words, his voice shuts me up
"i loved her you know, i loved her so much"
he tells me how she made him smile and how she was always on his mind
how he wanted to have a life with her and how it's all ashes and dust.
he is all broken but it breaks me more
i wish i could tell him 'hey i can be yours'

finally he runs out of tears and regrets and his fears
he wants to sleep, i tell him he should
he hangs up the phone leaving me with his thoughts.

The cold breeze pinched my skin,
as the moon appeared from between the clouds.
I was strapped down on a stone table
And the wolves had already started to howl.

From the shadows they came as a pack;
Hidden faces and black robes.
Holding the silver dagger of the snake,
they encircled around the table of stone.

Declaring the yellow moon as their witness,
in the bowl of terror, they lit the fire.
Then took a drop of my blood and chanted
"This is for the mare of the dark night"

They ask me,
"What are these holes in your heart, darling?"
I tell them,
"I am a writer and my pen always needs a refill."

like the skin grows back to heal the wound,
we humans like to stay together to fix each other.

You are always the hardest thing to write about
Because I fear that my words won't do justice to you.

sitting in front of the television set
watching an explicit movie and
smoking the seventh cigarette
you shout at your little kid
to shut up and behave properly
the bell rings
"tell daddy is not home
daddy is somewhere out
and he also left his phone"
the kids lies
you smile
now go to your bed it's getting late
you shout again switching the channels
the kids tries to resist
instead he gets badly hit
"relax he is still a child, how else will he learn?"
with that you get back to the television.


years later
you sit here alone
wondering where did
you go wrong.

And as I woke up in his favorite black shirt, I realized how much burden he had carried all his life.

What is time?
Ticking of the clock,
Movement of the hands,
A game of numbers
Or maybe nothing at all.
What is time?
God of life and death
It keeps you running
It counts your every breath.

We were lying on the hood of
your old Chevy
under the stars with cigarettes
between our lips
as we watched our dreams somewhere in
between the smoke that
danced in the air.
The street lights started to look blurry
as I inhaled in
the figments of your dreams
as well as mine.
Your dreams tasted different;
a bit too unsweetened
that burned the inside of my lungs
lighting a fire.
They unwound my muscles
that were in a chaos since centuries
making all the stars align.
I sighed deeply asking for
another cigarette
as I whispered,
"One last time..."

she hid herself under the white sheets
while he followed her scent out in cold streets.

For the first time in my life, I wanted to learn every language of this world in search of words to explain exactly what you are to me.

God created you in the darkest of the times
along the suns and the stars,
He created you as a guiding light.
So when I asked God to prove His love to me
He made me see your face
which no one else could see.

I went to a gypsy to ask about my future
She said, 'show me your hand my child.'
Her eyes popped out and she gasped loudly
'Oh good Lord! What a frightful sight!'

'What's wrong?' I asked her curiously.
'Everything. Everything is wrong.' she replied.
'Your palm lacks the line of fate.' she said.
'I know.' I told her. 'He's gone from my life.'

She sang the song of the dead as I walked out
'Oh the ****** dark soul, Oh my poor little child.
You have no idea how unfortunate you are
You need to be safe. Run and hide. Run and hide!'

The cloud started to follow me down the street
as I cringed in pain, questioning the sky.
'What is my fault?' I screamed in tears.
I guess I'll never know why you had to die.

Sometimes you have to take
a sip from the bowl
of sins
just to know **
bitter it tastes.

(The clock is ticking, tick tock tick tock)
He returns from office, It was a bad day
He throws his files on the table
As he loosens the ties, exhausted.

(The T.V is not working again)
He smashes the remote against the wall
And collapses on the sofa,
His eyes are now closed.

(The water starts boiling)
She turns the stove off
And rushes to the t.v lounge
As she hears the shattering sound.

After wiping her face with the corner of her shirt
She manages to put on a smile weakly.
"Hey darling. Welcome back home
The dinner is also almost ready."

(The bulb starts flickering)
He opens his eyes staring at it.
He curses aloud as she stands waiting for a reply
Then he lights up a cigarette.

He puffs for a while and
Asks what's for dinner
She is frightened to upset him,
She starts to stammer.

"I asked what's for ******* dinner!?"
"Boiled vegetables and steak, dear."
"I told you to cook rice for me ******
How hard was it to remember!?"

Tears fill her eyes as he curses again
She pleads for him to stop
But he holds her by the arm
And kicks her out of the house.

(The T.V is now working again)
(And the flickering of the bulb has also stopped.)
No one is there to blame anymore
(The clock ticks, tick tock tick tock.)

please, don't lock me up just to keep me closer to yourself
it's spring outside, i need to dance and live and grow.
i am a seed that is capable of producing the finest roses in the garden
but give me some room to breathe before i wither and dry out.
you can pluck the flowers i give and make a bouquet out of them
gift it to someone you love, i would never care to know.