do you know how it feels
to be like me-
to lie and fight the wrongness
of your skin and bones
to feel fake
like an alien inhabiting your own shell
like a square peg in a round hole.
your face is a mask,
your name, a false label.
the most devastating betrayal is
the betrayal of your voice.
other parts feel empty, missing,
broken, burdensome, weak.
an inextinguishable sadness
lingers in your veins-
just enough to sting.

do you know how it feels?

i think you do

you are a human
your body is also a
prison

He doesn't want this to end,
This time they're spending
Together.

He looks so beautiful like this,
Head tilted, lips parted slightly
A pretty pink on his cheeks.

He's drinking peppermint tea
As is his ritual on days
Such as these.

I am indulging in coffee
Loaded with Extra Sweet creamer
And am focused on him.

His glasses bring out his
Jawline.

His gentle laugh lines are so
Welcoming.

There's an irresistible twinkle in his
Eyes.

We cuddled up and watched movies
Many of which made me cry,
Cry into his shoulder.

We shared a blanket that barely
Had room for two people, even
In close proximity.

His body was very warm,
His chest was inviting me
To lay my head on it.

His mouth tastes like peppermint tea.
His lips are as delicate as rose petals.
He is glowing with radiance.

Those days at the gym paid
Off.

His abs bring out his gentle
Curves.

His smooth skin bruises quite
Nicely.

i'm sorry
that i don't fit
your definition of male.

i'm sorry
i don't have testosterone
running rampant in my veins
i'm sorry
i don't have a bulge
like the mound on a hill
i'm sorry
i don't have a flat chest
acceptable enough to expose in the summer

i'm sorry
you can't begin to understand my heart
before judging my body.
i'm sorry
you were raised to define a man
by what's in his pants.
i'm sorry
you would rather spend your life
invalidating me
and so many others
than open the doors
that beg for a chance

but i
am just as much of a man
as the next guy.

i want to
have a cliché
love story.

i want to
fall in love
with someone

who will
kiss me in
the rain,

just to break
up with me
the next day.

i want to
move on
to someone

who i couldnt
care for less ;
and then i

repeat.
repeat.
repeat.

i think i
have fallen
in love.

but its not
cliché,
and no one

understands
that love
is love.

Who am I but another statistic
Destined to be the next trending tag on Twitter
More martyrdom made for the minority
Hated for who I am and as they think I chose to be
Who am I but another snowflake
Bashed and beaten for my identity
Invalidated for who I know myself to be
Fearing each day that comes to pass
Who am I but a name that doesn't feel my own
Confusion rattles my brain
As I stare at the name I've known my whole life
So close to me yet so unfamiliar
Who am I but myself
As no one else chooses to see

A life without gender.
Giving me my freedom that was taken.
End to my imprisonment by gender roles.
No I am not mistaken.
Don't ask me if I'm a girl or a boy.
Either is just not me.
Rather I am a person, a human being that is free.

When I think of being in love
It's only ever you
When I listen to gay love songs
You always come to mind
The one I want to kiss
The one I want to cuddle
The one I want to talk to forever
Even when we should be sleeping
You mean everything to me
And that's hard to admit most days
Even when it's hard
Even when **** hurts
It'll always be you

i know that you have no idea that i like you
and i plan on keeping it that way
because i know that you like some other girl
and i respect that, so im just going to keep this little secret to myself
but if you ever do find this and connect it to you
i hope you know that you mean a lot to me
i've become very attached to you and it scares me if im being honest
i have a tendency to put up walls but with you
it doesn't feel like i have to
and i don't know why i've fallen for you
but i did
and i keep trying to climb out of the hole that i've dug myself
but it seems as though i'm stuck

so, i just needed to get this out of my system
that i've fallen for you
and theres nothing i can do about it
and that maybe in the slight possibility that you see this and you like me back
that maybe you'll do something
because i'm too scared to
too scared to lose you and lose what we do have
to the girl who ive fallen for
maybe surprise me, or maybe just keep being you