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How can a shallow
girl giggle so much? Maybe
her jokes are witty.
I know it may seem odd
But sometimes
I can be in a crowd
And still feel alone
Ticking karma on the wall
far across your soulless eyes,
in the dimmed of sadness in the past memories
haunted people for their reckless mouth

Ticking karma on the wall
watched every steps that you take
swam in the deepest of your sane daydream
waiting for your guts down and weak

Ticking karma on the wall
there wasn't a loner yet a pathetic body
you are just an old time harbor
and they are the ships

There was a ticking karma on the wall,
and all you can do is just watching them come and go.
I always hear how self-harms are "emo" & "attention seeking". But self harm isn't a joke, it takes a lot to get to the point of turning mental pain to physical pain. When you sit there and make fun of them, you're just making them pull down their sleeves, put on a pair of pants and hide their skin even more. You're pushing them further and further into a hole and if you aren't careful with what you say, the hole will turn into a grave.

─ m.j
please read this, this goes for everyone.
I write this
Through watery eyes
and trembling hands.
Who are you?

Am... I a monster?
I don't remember doing anything...
Last night you confessed
You felt so happy and loved...
Till i went to sleep.
Awakening to y-you...

Only

That wasn't you...
You acted like... I hated you...
Saying I wanted you gone...and
Didn't care...

I began trembling in fear...
Scared and worried if you were okay
You said you were sorry... that you were just stupid so...
I asked you what was wrong... worried
For the way you were acting
You told me... it didn't matter...that I d-didn't care...
By n-now im shaking and crying... what did i do?
I asked you again... why you were saying these things...
You...yelled...told me you didnt know and to get off your case...
I apologized... I was in the wrong... I guess...
Sunken into myself i jusy shook and trembled quietly...
Till you told me to...stop and be happy...
Be nice to you... and when i again questioned what you w-were saying... that was wrong... it w-was just me not caring again...
I put on a smile and wished you a good day in the hopes thats what you wanted anf that it'd make you happier... cept...
It wasn't the case... you called me out...
So I told you I wasnt happy... but afraid and confused...
Sorry for ruining your day i guess...

I dont know what just h-happened or w-who that was... but it happened three times... you'd apologize and then something would happen...

Is it...me?
Im sorry
This is a mind scramble of thoughts.
I needed somewhere to put it... im so...what....i don't understand...what happened? What'd i do...im sorry?
24 hours ago I was someone different
but right now I'm crying right where I'm sitting:
in this old photo booth on the side of the beach
where you left me after saying that we should end things
because this wasn't turning out the way that you expected it to be.
When there seems
no progressive road
the past
savage
cruel
light finds you
the way out
whispers
the door awaits
I created a spoken word version on SoundCloud today, if anyone is interested -> https://soundcloud.com/suzyhazelwood/light-finds-you
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