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a wonderful black woman told me recently
that a woman's silence can be potent

it reminded me of how
everyday actions by oppressed people
are so often defiance

to defy is to challenge, to do something considered impossible; to confront with assured power of resistance

and isn't that what i do?
i am not supposed to be so much,
everytime i smile
i am proving that i am happy

i am not supposed to be happy
i have so much to be sad about
but look at me
full of sun anyway
full of light anyway

i am supposed to be angry all the time
watch me love
watch me grieve

you do not want this multifaceted version of me
it is too much like you
you have found a similarity
does it scare you to know i am human?

good.

be scared.

because i will continue to defy every single thing
you think of me

i will be the unexpected.
no one will know how to handle me.
it will be beautiful.
it is beautiful
At the end of the day
I will feel good in my own skin
At the end of the day
I will be satisfied with who I am
At the end of the day
I will have survived another disaster
At the end of the day
I will look to myself and matter
At the end of the day
Im going to be okay
We are critical.

We find flaws in
everything we see
because nobody
wants to write
about perfection,
even though sometimes
we wish we could just stay
staring into that
unblemished surface.

2. We are never satisfied.

We live our lives upon
mountains of
scrunched up
bits of refill and
ideas we gave up
trying to
express.

3. We never forget.

We write words about
eye contact made
three months ago
that we replay over
and over in our minds
even though it
stopped
being relevant.

4. We are fickle.**

Our emotions flash
from one
to the other
like strobe lighting that
disorientates us
until we feel as if
the world
will never be still.

5. We are exposed.

We don't know how
to keep our feelings
to ourselves so
we'll write them
down for
you to find
'accidentally'.

6. We are vulnerable.

We wear our
hearts on our sleeves
and won't lift a
muscle to fight back
if somebody tries
to break it
because we thrive
from the pain.

7. We will never stop.

We will never stop
feeling and
we will never stop
hurting,
we will never stop
breaking and
bleeding and
loving
even though the cycle
is endless
and we know what's
coming next.


We are addicted
to agony,
but we agonise
for the art.
It's worth it though.
The dark side of the moon looks like an abandoned child...

Craters and dust, left alone in the wild.

The dark side of the moon looks like
a single mother with bruises on her face...

*And a motherless child
lost out in space.
Copyright 2015
Short poem. If this poem trends then we'll make a part two.
NYE
I shouldn't have left Toronto
I.
because I'd rather be sad in this small dark place and blame it on the dark,
than be sad out in the world and have nothing to blame but myself

II.
because I can't remember any other feeling

III.
because maybe recovery isn't for me

IV.
because maybe okay isn't for me

V.
because maybe happy isn't for me

VI.
maybe it never was
it was poetic at first
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