~You were the first one to ever peak my curiosity. You had mood swings like day and night, you pulled at the threads in my flesh trying to search for what you could find underneath. We never got close enough that I could call you my girlfriend but I could feel what it was like. You were always talking about this boy, I had my first taste of jealousy because he would never love you like I could. I got tired of the cycle. Waiting for my turn. So I took from you what I could get and left you wishing you had loved what you had.

~You were so beautiful the way you had the ability to spot me in a crowded room. No matter the temperature your skin was always cold. You were always so cold. You spoke of how the stars here could never compare to the ones in Ohio. I didn't hesitate when you asked to be mine or when you asked if you could explore my every curve. You told me if I reached a certain weight you'd leave me so my fingers got to know the back of my throat in a disgustingly familiar way. I cried for three nights after you left, I was pathetically in lust with you. Months later you came to appreciate the way my hips rocked against yours and begged for my return. You are trash.

~You kissed me at the bottom of the stairs briefly. I could tell you didn't kiss often but I said yes anyway.  I remember being startled when I woke up at a friends house, my hair a filthy mess and you were sitting there watching me. I could barely have a conversation with you so I always kissed you to cover the involuntary silence. You were the nicest boy I'd ever met but I never loved you.

~We we're practically married the way we fought and ****** for three years. I gave you everything I had in summer on a blanket spread over the lush grass. I wrote novels in your pretty little heart and poured out my every struggle. I loved you from the hairs that stood on the back of my neck to the way I curled my toes..but then you changed. You said you were growing up and learning responsibility. But really you sat blankly in your room counting birds of death and you watched me struggle for breath, for life. I tried to get my love back but you'd buried him deep somewhere. I imagine he's laying beautifully in a bed of flowers and butterflies land on his lips trying to give him breath, although they are to minuscule to succeed. You've become a disgusting person. I do not love you.

~During a time that I sat waiting for death I found myself in August during September. You were the most beautiful boy I'd ever laid eyes on, I never imagined lips like yours touching mine. I've come to realize that you are the flowers, you are the butterflies and the sunshine. You are all of the bright magnificent things that you think you're not and you are mine. I fell for you involuntarily, but I would never turn back if I could. I've never had a best friend and a lover amalgamated.  I've never been so certain that love can exist in the darkest of beings. I've never tasted forever in someones kiss. Dear present love do not deceive me.

We spoke in tongues that day,
Your fingers trailed my body like
a harlot skimming through the bible finding her daily grace.

The Sun, her majesty, jealous of the
nervous heat that fought for a moment of breath between your satin body and my scarred chest.

Did you know that I almost cried?
Because your touch was everything I feared the most.
Your touch was confidence, maybe love.
It hurt.

We don't speak the same language anymore,
For your fingers,
are too holy for mine.

entice me with your language
not  your body but your soul
****** me with your words
sounds of trumpets as a whole
words, rolling off your tongue like Dew on blades of grass
not the typical talk and whispers of your amazing ***
challenge me and contradict
please lets keep this real
do not agree on everything
nevertheless of how you feel
see your mind is what is left, and ultimately the hook
lets talk of music, art and good times past and maybe even a book

****** me with your cleverness
caress me with your wit
to hear such entrancing thoughts has left me quite a bit - entangled in your uneasy tone, but frazzled evermore
completely distraught on how you taught me to leave things at the door

make love to my deepest thoughts, delusions, and desires
for that excites me more than all the daring red hot fires

I want to see the light in your eyes
but you think poetry is stupid.
Poetry is all I've ever known.
Am I stupid?

Love is the reason for our existence.
My personal neck tattoo would say L-O-V-E-R.
If you're too cynical to ever be happy...
...maybe I'll have to find someone more like me.

There's nothing wrong with you.
Never has been, never will.
You might look for something to be fixed
and I know you won't feel fulfilled.

It's okay.
You're okay.
Promise me this:
to spend one night
in unfaithful bliss.

Forget all your dreams
your pain, your sorrow
please put it off
and wait til' tomorrow.

Maybe not even then.

Promise me you'll be okay.
It's actually easy to swear-
you already are. There is no 'when?'
There is no 'where?'