should i ? or should i not?
that's a hard choice
if i do , i'll leave my family behind
the person who gave birth to me
who offered me life
if i don't , i'll just be waiting,
in this miserable life
for my miserable beating heart to stop.

like a flower wilts
in winter, you will not last
depression's cold frost

i want enough liquor to make me sick
i want the most toxic **** for killer spliffs.
i want all the coke that i can get.
overdose tonight so every other i'll forget.
want nothing to do with sobriety or real life.
all my reality is is  just not right.
everything i do is for a good cause
but i cant seem to be cared for at all.
i want to sit on the floor, drugged and laughing.
i want to run on the walls free and happy.
i want to lose myself and not be me for the night.
overdose on the bitter sweetness of life.
possibly slipping into the next, and if i do, goodnight.