a sudden burst of excitement!
because, wow, we have something to talk about!
and we talk and we laugh and we smile,
sometimes by ourselves, and other times in each other's company,
and we never think this fun is going to end,
because how could it end?
the pleasure has only just begun!

in the beginning, it starts out like this:
you talk to me, I talk to you
back and forth
we don't really know what we're talking about,
grasping at various ideas until we find some sort of connection,
and once we've found that connection,
it has started.

You listen to music for the music, and I listen to music for the lyrics.

And that is the difference between us.

You get caught up in the intertwining of chords and harmonies and sound, while I get caught up in the story and the meaning of the song.

You get so excited when you hear a new song because of how it makes you feel, and this is why I listen to the lyrics, because I love that about you.

I need a song to put my thoughts into words.
I need a song to explain how I'm feeling, when maybe I can't get the point across myself.
I need something to express my emotion and my longing.
I need you to know how I feel.
I need you to start listening to the lyrics.

Today is my birthday and I guess I got what I wanted, which was talking to you again.

The past two years I missed having someone to talk to who cared about me, and I’m not sure if you still care, but you seemed like it because you told me, “If [I] don’t have fun tonight [you’re] going to be mad at [me].”
That was just one of the things.

Well I guess I had fun because I listened to the playlist that you made me and I talked to you.
And that’s what I wanted right?
Right.

What I didn’t want was to lie on my floor crying off and on for an hour because that playlist, a simple thing, made me so happy and so scared. I am so scared because I do not know what is happening and I am afraid it is just going to vanish before my eyes like last time.

But I’m timid and I’m shy, too shy to tell you this, too worried about how it might affect the course of events playing out, so I will just write it down here in hopes that you’ll come across it one day. I hope you do see it and take note of just how much the little things you do matter to me.

I'm going to bed happy
for the first time in a long time.

And it feels good.

I'm going to bed with a smile on my face
for the first time in a long time.

And it feels good.

I'm going to bed laughing
for the first time in a long time.

And it feels so good.

What we did was so innocent
Even when it was not innocent within itself
It still felt like it

The way you would hum a little tune as I let myself blossom
Such as a flower after a warm spring rain
For you

The way we couldn't even say the word
We came up with a code that was secretly ours that would make no sense to the outside world
Only we could understand it in our little eutopia

And now we've grown and we're not so innocent anymore
We've changed and we've gone our separate ways but now we're gravitating back
Or so it seems

I can't help but think of that blossoming flower
Of that funny little tune
And of the innocence that existed strictly between the two of us

Do you ever feel like if you breathe too loud during a quiet song
You won't be able to hear the music?

Are you ever afraid you might miss your soon-to-be favorite part of the song
All because you breathed at the wrong moment?

Well I'm lying here and I'm listening to the most beautiful song
And I can't concentrate on the song because I'm too busy concentrating on my breath

And do you ever feel like you go through life like this?
Like you want so much to say what you need to but you're afraid you'll ruin the most beautiful parts?

I'm guilty of this
Of sacrificing my breath to hear the most beautiful song