hold on to what keeps you alive and on this planet
gravity is a constant but your sadness is not

I'm sorry I don't paint the canvas
of our dialogues because
what is left between us are of
bittersweet memories.

And I can't be there anymore
to hold onto what is left of broken pieces
because you can't even apologize to broken plates
once you've thrown them to the wall.

Falling too quickly,
Too sudden,
And too hard.

I trusted you, let you in,
And gave you all the weapons.
Everything you need to catch me or destroy me.

I opened up my heart,
Trusting that you would hold it,
Hold it and keep it warm, like how you hold my hands everyday without a fail - But you just reminded me why things break when they fall.

You just got my heart and ripped it out.
Left me feeling empty, ******, and bad about myself.
Letting me fall but without you on the other end,
leaving me broken and shattered.

My heart went out like a star
****** in like a breath, laid down in the dark
I cannot see well these days, or far
except the flicker of the tiniest pilot light-
your spark.

"I don't love you anymore," she says
as she chokes back tears.
Lying through her teeth,
trying to convince herself
that the words she says are true,
but they aren't
and they never will be.

"I can live without him," she shrugs,
as she tries to find him elsewhere
at the bottom of bottles
and bowls of herb.
Sometimes, she finds comfort
in the arms of strangers,
and for a moment she is content,
but they'll never fill the void
and she knows that all too well.

"I miss you," she texts him
in a moment of weakness,
lying on the bathroom floor
drunk off too many shots
of cheap whiskey.
She knows she shouldn't
but she sends it anyways,
thinking the regret of letting him go
is worse than the pain of loving him.

"I wish I'd never met you," she screams,
and these words are true.
Because loving a toxic person,
someone you know isn't right for you,
is the worst form of torture.
At times she'd take a bullet because it might hurt less,
but the sick side of her loves the pain
and she keeps coming back...

*She still doesn't know why.

°°°
You asked me once,
“Will you write about me
if I break your heart one day?”

*I thought you were joking.