it's 6 months already. i never thought someone would see and noticed me even when at least i think i am invisible. i loved and trusted him like a friend. but never i knew he would treat me differently.

sorry. i have no other ways of saying this. but. i can not reciprocate your feelings. sorry i don't know how to say this. sorry for making your efforts go to waste. sorry if i ran away after i knew. sorry if you never made it. sorry if i never gave you a chance.

i feel sorry for having somebody else in my heart.
sorry for rejecting you.
because trust me, i know what it feels.

She never understood
why she loved books
The way they are much more capable
of warming hearts on a stormy night
than a cup of bittersweet coffee.

She never understood
Why she hated capitalising
and hated the word ‘why'.

She never understood
Why her favourite word is still ‘incredible’
And why she loved repetition
And use of periods.
And commas.
And conjunctions.

She never understood
Why she always wanted to cut her hair herself,
But if she was bird
She wouldn't fly across oceans and seas
Because she wouldn't trust her wings that much.

She never understood
Why she always find herself late at night
Thinking about why and how
She can’t kiss the past good bye.

She never understood
Why she easily lose herself to others,
Like rivers to oceans,
And how she finds someone worthy
If he makes someone’s heart happy.

Somehow she can never love
Or hate herself wholly.
It was always between self-love and self-loathe.
And *she never understood why.

my eyes on his perfectly arched eyebrows,
heart pounding wide smile,
and dazzling eyes that hide behind the glasses

you look good today i say

you know jokes are half meant

i was never kidding.

it isn’t about a connection.
it isn’t about the heart or the brain.
it isn’t love and it isn’t explained away by a single word or a singular idea.
but it was momentous.
it was brief but beautiful.
an experience with no amount of magic.
that you passed me by and I don’t know who you are — not really, not completely — but you made me look up just by being who you are and bringing with you this warm rush of heat, this aura that spread like a tidal wave of energy.
it washed me up on the shore of earthly awareness.
it terrified my insides.
i felt it.
then I saw you.
stranger, you are amazing.
you are truly amazing.

he was there
enough that made my insides shake
terrified with every move he made
the air thickened -
a sharp tang of something else
i hope he didn't recognize
how even his slightest move sent chills down
down my spine

i want this poem to be mad
i want to hand you this poem because you hurt me again for the nth time
i am so angry with myself because i waited
but now
i hate myself for hating you
yet
i want to slapped this poem on your face,
the scenery i used to admire
i want to punch you on your shoulders,
places where i used to lean
i want to break your hands
for they used to held mine

i want to use these fists not to fist bump you
but for the last time,
to break your **** heart without me regretting it

I run to drown out fear
and to block out pain
no I do not run from them
I run for them

I run for heartbreaks
and nightmares
that cannot stop me
for I run

I run from love
and hate
because you cannot know one
without the other

No one loves me
I'm not worth a single drop of blood

It would be wasted
If you spilt it for me

And dry your tears
For I'm the only one that has to cry

This time,
So there's no use shedding them for me

Sometimes, I wish I knew
How to disappear completely

So no one would remember my voice
Have no memories with me

I feel like life
Would merrily move along

If I were just simply
Gone
                     Gone

    Gone.