I’ve missed you sadness
I’ve been pushing you off
Keeping busy
But your tang
Your forbidden kisses
On my wrist-

The pain
Gets me so high

Whisper broken promises
I’ve heard them all before

Tell me all your excuses
I have them memorized word for word

Tell me pretty lies
Nothing you can do is new

The precedent was set before I was born-
Before anything had to do with you.

Just please promise you will stay
Because he never did.

Now I sit here and wait
Waiting for your text,
Waiting for his call,  
Or for the letter signed-
         Love,
                  Dad

somehow
i go on
simultaneously
knowing and ignoring
that you still love me

They say that relationships don't work endless you love yourself-
that you can't love someone if your not happy alone.  

That may be a problem-
but then why do I love my hands when your hands hold them?
or my legs when they are entangled in yours?
or my cheeks when you kiss them?
or my smile when you laugh?

is that close enough?
to love myself with you...
or are we doomed?

I'm sorry for double texting
and reading into every word-
that I miss you so much
and that it consumes me,
and that I hold onto every little snippets of
emotion crumbs that you leave.

Sorry I just don't know how to love in a healthy way.