The girl with the bright blonde hair
drawing hearts on her notes with no care,
with her hand always raised
and always getting praised.

But one day she fell into a lull,
overtime her hair seemed to dull,
her seat moved farther back,
and new clothes all shades of black.

Maybe I should have taken it as a sign,
but she always swore she was fine-
I wonder if she would call me fake
if I were to show up at her wake.

From a boy who never said hi,
to a girl who committed suicide.

They say that relationships don't work endless you love yourself-
that you can't love someone if your not happy alone.  

That may be a problem-
but then why do I love my hands when your hands hold them?
or my legs when they are entangled in yours?
or my cheeks when you kiss them?
or my smile when you laugh?

is that close enough?
to love myself with you...
or are we doomed?

No one notices your scars as you do,
how deep they run, every little twist and turn on your skin

No one else will carry your scars the way you do,
how you hide them so perfectly, to never see the light of day

No one will know how the scars came about,
how you **** a little part of yourself every night, just to feel alive

No matter how many fingers run across your scars,
They will never fully understand your pain, the journey that you took

No one will know your pain as you do and that's okay-
You know what you feel, and no one can take your strength away

But no one else will start your recovery but you.

Whisper broken promises
I’ve heard them all before

Tell me all your excuses
I have them memorized word for word

Tell me pretty lies
Nothing you can do is new

The precedent was set before I was born-
Before anything had to do with you.

Just please promise you will stay
Because he never did.

Now I sit here and wait
Waiting for your text,
Waiting for his call,  
Or for the letter signed-
         Love,
                  Dad

I’ve missed you sadness
I’ve been pushing you off
Keeping busy
But your tang
Your forbidden kisses
On my wrist-

The pain
Gets me so high

I'm sorry for double texting
and reading into every word-
that I miss you so much
and that it consumes me,
and that I hold onto every little snippets of
emotion crumbs that you leave.

Sorry I just don't know how to love in a healthy way.

Haven’t written in a day
Nothing much to say
While I wither away

Oh all the words left unsaid-
All the fits of anger,  
   I twisted away under a bitten tongue.
All the tears i didn't cry,
  stored in a vault in my heart.
And yet we crammed all the 'what ifs' into a single,
   "Goodbye."

Yet, when he puts his hand on my waist,
and pulls me in
for the last fiery kiss
I hold my breath for just a second-
as if i could bottle this moment up
into a single memory,
and I could live there forever
floating in his arms.

And I'll wonder if he thinks of me
as the girl he could have loved all his life,
or just a chapter of many lovers
that he left unread.