I found myself faking smiles
Just to make it seem like nothing is wrong
I stare at their lips moving, speaking something,
Yet the words never reach my ears

I wake up and move around
Just to show them I could still function
They tell me to go out and bask in the sun
Yet sunlight has done nothing but create more shadows

I write on my skin with a knife
Not fearing death but fearing numbness
I cry not of pain
But because I was withering away

I found myself alone in the crowd
Surrounded by blurred faces who all failed to see
That I'm nothing but an unlit star
Swallowed by the shadows of the moon

Why do I feel like I’ve lost you?

And you weren’t even mine to begin with.

You’re within my grasp, yet I never held you.

Because I couldn’t. Because I shouldn’t.

Because your touch would shatter me.

Your smile would melt me.

Your laughter would be the end of me.

You’re across me…

But we’re oceans apart.

Your touch I would never experience.

Your smile would just be a distant star.

Your laughter would be just an echo.

Because I’ve lost you.

And you weren’t even mine to begin with.

Falling for you
It’s like skydiving without a parachute.
Free falling.
Almost feels like flying…
And then I crash.

Beauty meant power
The princess has a King, who lead wars and conquered kingdoms, wrapped around her fingers
A prince, who slay mighty dragons and beasts, fall onto her feet
So when did beauty become a weakness?

Beauty meant safe
Moats and towers kept her from plain sight
Dwarfs and talking animals always run for her defense
So when did beauty become a threat?

When Beauty touches unholy ground
The dead goes up their graves
At the scent of beauty, not of brain

The darkness hid their rotten flesh
Her naivety masked their stench
Because in her eyes, they’re all the same
For they call her “Beauty”.

Their ***** nails dug to her flawless cheek
Making scars that could never heal
The lips that once called her “Beauty” burned like coals on her flesh
They grip her hair and drag her around, leaving a trail of ******’s blood

As the moon become hidden by clouds
The dead just left her on the ground
She screamed for help yet no one came
Because her face just wasn’t the same

For every rustling of the trees
And every blow of the wind
The fear inside her grew
That the dead will be back
But as the days passed by
They never did

Because she was no longer “Beauty”
And she was no longer wanted
She had no power
She was weak
She was unarmed
But she was no longer beautiful
She was safe

Skin as white as unblemished snow
Lips as red as fresh blood
Hair as black as the darkest night sky
She’s the fairest of them all

Her smiles light up the world
Her voice soothes their souls
Her stares warm their hearts
They call her beautiful
Too often, as if it’s her name

And then he came
A sheep with magnificent wool
As beautiful as her

He claimed her as his own
Putting a crown on her head
Placing her on a golden throne

He made her smile brighter
Her voice softer
Her stare fixed on him

But it was never enough

Suddenly
His touch burned and cut through her flesh
Forming scars unseen by the naked eye

His kiss became a seal of her hellish fate

His hug became a cage
Trapping her
Suffocating her

His “I love you” became an insincere apology

Blood dripped on her head
From the crown of thorns
Her body, unmoving
Strapped on her throne

With her eyes wide open
She saw his big eyes
And sharp teeth
The beautiful sheep she fell in love
Was a rabid wolf
Dressed in wool

He's on top of the mountain
Pulling me up

I'm on the ocean floor
Dragging him down

I cut the rope
And let him go

He's up in the sky
Soaring
Flying
Finally free

I'm no longer his anchor

There once was a girl who’s too afraid to trust
Created her own prison
Locked all the doors so she couldn’t get out
She sat on the corner
Hid in the shadows
Together with the monster
She has become

There once was a girl who’s too afraid to trust
Found by a wanderer
Who saw her on the tiny crack on the wall
“Open the door and let me in,” he said
“I’m just a boy, what harm could you get?”
She stayed in the dark
Too scared to respond
Too afraid to open her heart

There once was a girl who’s too afraid to trust
Still terrified to open the door
But the boy had enough charm
To tear the walls down
He entered her life as if it was a walk in the park
Pulled her out of the shadows
And held her in his arms

There once was a girl who’s too afraid to trust
But wore her heart on her sleeve
For the boy oozing with charm
Was able to earn her trust with just a smile
“Beautiful,” he called her
Reminding her of her worth
Promising the repeat it again and again until he could no longer speak

There once was a girl who’s too afraid to trust
Who trusted a boy who made a promise
Trusted a boy who made a promise
A boy who made a promise
A promise
To call her beautiful
Until he could no longer speak

There once was a girl who’s too afraid to trust
Who believed in a boy who called her beautiful
He didn’t lose his voice
Only lost his sight
To the girl he once promised to
Love for the rest of his life

There once was a girl who’s too afraid to trust
Who no longer believed that she could be loved by another
For he didn’t just break his promise
But also break her heart
When he found another
Girl to call beautiful

There once was a girl who’s too afraid to trust
Created her own prison
Locked all the doors so she couldn’t get out
She sat on the corner
Hid in the shadows
Together with the monster
She has become

She opened her eyes
Disappointed that she's still alive
Another day filled with pain
Another day of endless shame

She was tired
and wanted this to end
Tonight
Tonight she'll no longer fight
Tonight
It will all end tonight

With her head down, as if trying to hide
She faced the crowd for one last time
Whispers started as she walked by
Eyes on her as if she committed a crime

Just as she tried to hide
A stranger came to her side
She braced herself, prepared for an attack
Ready to take a blow, ready to be mocked

But he just smiled
Flashing his crooked white teeth
And called her beautiful
But she didn't believe
For her ears were filled with hatred and mockery

He called her beautiful
Again and again
Until she believes

That night she went to sleep
Her nightmare vanished
Replaced by hopeful dreams

She opened her eyes
Thanking God that she's still alive
It may be another day filled with pain
And endless shame
But she knew her life will never be the same

With her head down, still trying to hide
She faced the crowd for one more time
Whispers still started as she walked by
Eyes still on her as if she committed a crime

And then suddenly, the stranger came
As if to protect her from all the shame
He called her beautiful
Again and again
Until it's all she hears

He called her beautiful
Making her forget
Years of torment
Years of living hell

He called her beautiful
And she believed.

Always dreaming
Yet never sleeping
She was caught up in a fantasy
She created in her head

Growing older
Yet never growing up
He was always playing
The games where he always wins

She got lost
Wandering in the enchanted forest
And found him
She instantly fell in love
Even when he didn’t offer his heart
And only promised
That he’ll teach her to fly

But she was just a player… a pawn
Caught up in his little game
Just like an innocent fly
Trapped in a spider web of lies

In her pretty little head
She can win the battle for his heart
Cause in a world of talking rabbits and caterpillars
She was the fierce warrior who defeated the Jabberwocky

But as he pulled her out of Wonderland
And brought her to Neverland
He let the pirates with hooks on their hands
Rip the heart off her chest
And served it on a silver platter to the crocodiles

She dragged herself back to Wonderland
Leaving a trail of her own blood
Still believing
Still hoping
That he’ll come after her
But he never did