I told her I was synthetic
A quick rebudle claimed
This was impossible, as
                
      I HAD EMOTIONS

Words have a way with my mind
They weave webs, twist and turn
Unwravelling to their roots
Then winding back into thoughts

I replied,
           How does one have an emotion?
           Are they something to be owned?
           Is it a possession to hold dear?

Anger and hatred can be harbored
In the hearts of the unfulfilled
But sunshine and a smile can,
Send such things fleeting

So to answer the question
Do I have emotion?

I understand the idea
I illustrate them with words
And words you know have emotion
The ink never lets them go.

I know right now your heart is broken,
The days are never ending and you're feel like you are.
I know that sometimes, it's hard to breathe,
Sometimes letting it all go away is not too far.
Your head hurts and your heart aches,
There is this heaviness that is weighing you down.
Somedays are so long that you wonder what made you like this,
You curse, you cry, you scream, you sit in silence.
Silence was usually comforting but now it allows the darkness to seep in slowly.

I know you're hurting,  I know you're bending.
But don't break, honey.
Things may hurt you, scar you, bruise you,
But don't let them break you.
You're worthy of all the happiness in this world.
Somedays, you might just exist and just existing is fine,
Don't break honey.
I promise you, it gets better.

I didn't have much
but I gave you all my secrets
somehow, I just knew
I could trust you to keep them

it's been a year, or maybe more
since I put faith in you
and when you're here with me,
I feel,
there's nothing I can't do

but sometimes you're so far away
and I feel so alone
the only way I hear your voice
is coming through the phone

though each day tears me up inside
it's not the hell it seems
you're with me when I drift away
you're always in my dreams

and there lies my serenity
no worries to be found
no fears, no anxiety
with no one else around

the forests welcome visitors
instead of trying to hide
and no one's ever known betrayal
there's no such word as "lie"

and though we're not the only ones
it's only you and I
and we still have just what we need
to make it paradise

and no matter what happens here
we'll always be together
my only regret is that
I can't stay there forever

though each day tears my soul apart
it's not the hell it seems
there's you, and fields of lavender
there waiting in my dreams

My own body keeps its secrets hidden; even from myself when I refuse to listen.

It screams and screams for attention and when I refuse to hear; it numbs itself in alignment with my wishes.

My body can dictate how much of life I wish to experience — how much I seek to feel. Whether it be dull or feeling.

When I refuse to feel, it closes like the gates of a prison. Inside, I feel numb to any vestiges of emotion; lacking life and freedom.

My body is an imprint of either acceptance or resistance, of condemnation or allowance, of love and care or distrust.

The body is a mirror; blame it not for sadness, anger, worry, nor a self reflected -- False or Aesthetic.

i wish to eat her petals
and swell their colors
from lowlight misty rose
to highlight magenta

and have her
burst into my mouthings
an unspoken
torque

bent toward winged skies

She kisses the boys and girls
that pay the most attention.
The boys play with vapor
and her girls play with tension.
I wish I was the only one
that she will decide to touch
but I am who I am
and, in a way, that is too much.

Sawblade-sunflower petals
wrap around an earthy cushion,
and the humidity hangs in the air
as her beige body is crumpled
and I feel too sober, pushing.

Baby yellow falls apart,
in her hair the flower starts
to trickle onto sheet and pillow,
decorating the absences
that define how hollow
she and I have felt before --
******* like an endangered species
on the killing floor, I whisper once,
I whisper sweet, "Don't you wish
that we didn't meet?"

She kisses the boys and girls
that give the most attention.
I played with vapor
and she played with tension.