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Oct 2017 · 216
jump
taia Oct 2017
i stand on the edge,
toes curled over,
urging me to step forward,
just one step,
just one,
you can do it,
believe,
step,
step...

the wind whips by me,
grabbing my hair as if trying to pull me towards it,
and i close my eyes;
if i close my eyes it doesn't seem so scary,
if i close my eyes i could just be walking down the street,
close your eyes,
eyes closed...

i don't hear anything any more.
the people in my classes,
dogs barking in backyards,
no more satellites.
i pass faces in the hallway but all they are are smudges.
it's like i'm part of this modern art piece but i don't know who the artist is.
god?
are you there?
no answer.
but maybe i'm screaming into an empty sky.

below me is the sea.
an ocean of pebbles and grass,
rolling what seems to be a mile down.
four stories can seem like a lifetime to be falling.
falling,
falling,
free-fall,
no destination,
my final destination.

from my trestle i take one last surveillance of the world i know.

my body goes limp...




then he grabs me.
Oct 2017 · 348
od
taia Oct 2017
od
i heard the siren.
    i heard the shrieks tear through the night,
but i couldn’t see anything.
    i thought i felt your hand,
but my fingers grasped at shreds of cloth
    and all i found was theft.

a sudden breath of air,
    my arms dancing by my sides-
my body knew this routine but my mind didn’t.
    my bloodstream suddenly infected,
i realize i lost count.

a tiny white gateway.
    it sneaks down my throat,
makes a home in my abandoned shack of a body.
    not long now…

and i wondered-
    "is this what it's like to be dead?"
there’s no one waiting for me.
    not anymore.

so you can call, my friend.
    but i won't hear you.
my eyes don’t search anymore,
    i'm not coming home.

the glow that once came from my house will be dim.
    because sometimes
        the lights
            don’t
                turn
                   ­ on.
Mar 2017 · 755
the fight
taia Mar 2017
the blankness
utter blankness
spiraling through the night
trying to latch on
no i say
let go of me
shaking it off
feeling it's teeth sink in once more
i go limp
the stars above start to spin
and my mouth goes dry
i cannot feel anymore
just my senses and i
alone
lol word dump
Jan 2017 · 1.2k
rumors (haiku)
taia Jan 2017
oh liar, liar
accusations shared by ear
finding awful truth
Jan 2017 · 368
wasted?
taia Jan 2017
i often thought that life would falter
that the sun would set too early one day,

and everything would be gone in a flash.

what i did would be in vain,

and my story would disintegrate into a distant memory of some mysterious girl.

i wondered if it was worth it.

but life is only what you make of it,

so i try to make it memorable.

though the memories will all be gone one day,

and i will be no more.
word dump. hi everyone.
Dec 2016 · 338
gentle rest (haiku)
taia Dec 2016
the cozy nights in
spent cuddled up next to you
my serenity
taia Dec 2016
she always stays up
through the night, hunched over art
her eyes wide awake
Dec 2016 · 400
intruder (haiku)
taia Dec 2016
a bump on the skin
foreign abnormality
that i must have missed
Dec 2016 · 506
brewery (haiku)
taia Dec 2016
the sky a faint grey
suddenly turned black as night
wind roars, thunder cracks
Nov 2016 · 666
wrong person (haiku)
taia Nov 2016
i'm not your baby
you must have mistaken me
for someone you knew
this is so stupid, i hate being uninspired.
Nov 2016 · 282
ever present
taia Nov 2016
something lingers in the air
   after you have left

perhaps it's your perfume
   but maybe it's the ***** on your breath

it both consoles me
   and worries me

the fact that your presence
   never leaves

maybe it's symbolic of how
   you never leave my thoughts

you're in the little things i do
   or experience

always on my mind
   you're always there
Nov 2016 · 609
the loneliness (haiku)
taia Nov 2016
solitude of art
long nights in the studio
paint my only friend
feeling quite lonely in my personal life recently. school is wonderful but i'm missing something.
Nov 2016 · 445
election (haiku)
taia Nov 2016
america spoke
they want a new man in charge
is this when i leave?
so, the US presidential election is over. Donald Trump won. i'm in shock, i don't know what to do. i can't believe this happened. being apart of LGBTQ+ i am afraid, for my self and for all other minorities. this can't be real. please wake me up.
Nov 2016 · 327
pourquoi? (haiku)
taia Nov 2016
the bewildered man
stumbles through his strict routine
say, cherchez la femme
excuse my heteronormative haiku, believe me, i'm not proud of myself. this was based on a show i was watching.
Oct 2016 · 1.0k
the five senses
taia Oct 2016
i remember your scent
it stained my favorite place to kiss on your neck,
and just behind your ear where you always nervously tucked your hair

i remember your flavor
the way your lips tasted like hope,
and the sweet tang of licking you off of my fingers

i remember your touch
how your palms where smooth like silk but your knuckles were hard and cracked,
and how our bodies felt when your bare skin rubbed against mine

i remember your sound
the way your morning voice resonated like you smoked two packs a day,
and how your moans were like the cries of angels

i remember the sight of you
how freckles were sprinkled across your cheeks,
and when your hair fell around your face and over your shoulders you looked a lioness

you awoke all five of my senses,
and you won't soon be forgotten
Oct 2016 · 483
sliver of light (haiku)
taia Oct 2016
the world can be cold
cruel, unforgiving, horrid
but sometimes there's warmth
not very happy with this one.
Oct 2016 · 359
anticipation (haiku)
taia Oct 2016
right before you kiss
that fraction of a second
words cannot describe
Oct 2016 · 270
special delivery (haiku)
taia Oct 2016
mailing the letter
sealing love in envelopes
a kiss for a stamp
Oct 2016 · 342
pleasure (haiku)
taia Oct 2016
her hands exploring
every inch of my body
shivers wouldn't stop
Oct 2016 · 534
the call (haiku)
taia Oct 2016
oh the agony
waiting by the phone for you
but it never rings
something cute and lighthearted because i've been in a gloomy mood recently.
Oct 2016 · 644
gag reflex
taia Oct 2016
writing poetry, for me, has become like a eating disorder.
although instead of consuming,
i'm the one producing.

each day i strive for this unattainable image,
this glorified idea of what i might become,
and the parasite in my brain grows.

i force my finger down my throat,
causing words to come bubbling up.
and each time they are more vile than the last,
a sour odor wafting from them.

my mouth burns from the acid but it tastes like victory.
because at least i created something.
and i leave my poetry there to rot,
refusing to admit i have a problem.

too blind to understand that each time i do this i'm slowly killing myself.
i'm hungry for something that can sustain me,
but i reject every antidote.
hopefully this isn't a trigger warning,  sorry. ironic enough that this isn't even the one i struggle with.
Oct 2016 · 400
pastel purity (haiku)
taia Oct 2016
bubblegum popping
you reminded me of sin
with scent sickly sweet
the last line has been amended thanks to bill :)
Sep 2016 · 276
warning signs (haiku)
taia Sep 2016
people were staring
the mark on my cheek speaking
words i dare not say
Sep 2016 · 374
glue (haiku)
taia Sep 2016
chemicals wafting
the sharp smell stings my nostrils
but it feels so good
Aug 2016 · 914
lolita (haiku)
taia Aug 2016
little ******
innocence stolen too young
a saddening sight
****** is such a classic yet tragic concept. i wanted to write a poem about her (or the idea of her) but this was difficult to come up with. not entirely thrilled.
Aug 2016 · 2.0k
transportation (haiku)
taia Aug 2016
a ride on the bus
sitting in the back row
staring out windows
bored on the bus right now. it's a good place to clear my head.
Aug 2016 · 394
have mercy
taia Aug 2016
you know better than to fall in love with me.

you know better than to look at me with those pleading eyes of yours.

because you know i am weak and will always give in.

i don't want to have to wake up early in the morning just to escape through the window,

because i know you'll be crushed to find my side of the bed cold once again.

if you pull my sweater like that i may just fall...

but i'm afraid to fall back into love.

so for now please behave yourself and keep your hands at your sides.

this is the only way- i don't want to hurt you.

but you know if you give me that smile i will always fall back into your bed.

i'll always come back.
listening to some music that pulled this out of me. not really a fan but i felt like publishing.
Aug 2016 · 1.8k
your mother's house (haiku)
taia Aug 2016
cookie tins and tea
your faded grade school drawings
and her chipped birdbath
i always find it strange when you visit someplace you spent so much time in as a kid, like a friends house, but when you return nothing has changed. it makes me feel twelve again.
Aug 2016 · 1.5k
in the pm (haiku)
taia Aug 2016
afternoon kisses
hand grazing over your thigh
naughty intentions
being back on the west coast brings out the friskier side of me. i was so much more carefree when i lived here. i grew up on rebellion, and i miss that.
Aug 2016 · 1.1k
a mug
taia Aug 2016
a broken mug.
a shattered piece of pottery lying in a puddle of three hour old coffee
(black with two sugars, just the way you like it).

that was the last straw for you.
the end of us.

i didn't mean to knock it over.
i was just trying to move my easel,
but in the process the handle got caught and your cup went flying.

against the door frame it hit,
the thundering smash amplified in my horror.
it was like watching a trainwreck in slow motion.

i quickly tried to clean it up,
but as i heard your footsteps going down the stairs i could feel my heart sink.

when you entered the look on your face made me freeze in my tracks.
the twisted rage in your eyes was enough to send me cowering.

apologizing was my only strategy,
wails of "i'm sorry!" rang through the house.
you raised your hand to strike me,
and i waited...

but nothing came.
you stood above me, as powerful as a hurricane, but you did not move.
instead you opened your mouth.

every hurtful thing you could think of came spewing out,
digging up incidents from months ago,
you knew exactly what would tear me to pieces.

i sat there taking it all in,
hoping that you'd let it all out.
but every word that seeped through your teeth was a slash to my heart;
i think i would have rather had the fist.

and then the worst thing you could've said-
"we're over."
just like that you were storming out of the house, grabbing your things.

i was crying and pleading, begging you to stay,
but you were gone.
i watched you get in your car and drive away.

another broken relationship.
you left me crumbled on the ground sobbing, only one thought running through my mind.

"it was just a mug."
inspired by the museum of broken relationships, this is how my last relationship ended.
taia Aug 2016
my insomnia;
i'm awake at 4am
thinking about you.
i don't want to leave my hometown. currently visiting my beautiful seattle and being with my friends is healing me. i'm dreading having to leave.
Jul 2016 · 438
routine (haiku)
taia Jul 2016
not a day goes by
that i do not think of you
and how you left me
Jul 2016 · 569
disintegrating (haiku)
taia Jul 2016
i'm a broken mess
this pile of flesh and bones
doesn't feel like home
Jul 2016 · 909
who am i?
taia Jul 2016
i always wanted to believe in the goodness of people.
i always sought to find the light at the end of the tunnel.
i always strived to go above and beyond to make others happy.

but what was it all for?
in trying so hard to help everyone else,
i lost myself in the process.
who am i anymore?
i don't know my soul.

this person, this being, i don't know myself!
it was so frightening.
i'm trying to regain a sense of self awareness,
to find out who the **** i am.

but until then,
until i find every piece of the scavenger hunt,
please be patient with me.
i need some time for self discovery.
i don't know who i am anymore. it makes it very difficult to write.
Jul 2016 · 1.1k
reconnect (haiku)
taia Jul 2016
there's nothing better
than a warm embrace after
the coldest silence
Jul 2016 · 424
the movies (haiku)
taia Jul 2016
vivid imagery
plays through my dangerous mind
like an ancient film
Jun 2016 · 601
detest (haiku)
taia Jun 2016
boiling hatred
rises from the depths of me
directed at you
Jun 2016 · 722
6w story
taia Jun 2016
miniature casket, hearts full of regret
there was a contest similar to this going on at school and i thought i'd try it out. i know it *****, but i felt like publishing something. sorry.
Jun 2016 · 1.0k
alleyways (haiku)
taia Jun 2016
a winding pathway
leads to where i dare not roam
still i venture on
May 2016 · 495
solo performance
taia May 2016
her fingers dance
over flower petals.

the pinkish hue
slowly turning to red.

as the movement quickens,
her digits dampen.

the soft caressing
escalating to furious fondling.

the sheen of her skin
is bright from the sweat.

angelic moans escape her lips,
and her back arches.

the ****** of the story-
after all, this is what she came for.

how can what feels so heavenly
be considered so unholy?
wow um don't know where that came from but it happened so...sorry to offend. if you were offended.
May 2016 · 1.2k
atheism (haiku)
taia May 2016
i used to pray once
when i believed in winged men
and life after death
May 2016 · 422
onward march
taia May 2016
a kiss, my dear,
for old times sake.
swallow your pride
and just let go.

please embrace me
like you used to.
i want to feel
longing again.

emotions gone,
missing once more.
i do not know
if i'll survive.

holes in my heart
that you once filled,
are cavernous
craters, i know.

but move forward,
i tell myself.
do not look back,
smile through pain.
this awful awful poem is honestly one of my worst ever. but i feel like posting nonetheless. please forgive me, and how do not even read it.
May 2016 · 494
come true (haiku)
taia May 2016
a dream is a wish
that your heart makes late at night
whilst gazing at stars
May 2016 · 564
the last goodbye
taia May 2016
as i hug your body close to mine,
i feel my grasp tighten,
and my fingers clutch at folds of fabric.

this goodbye will break me.
you're the only thing holding me up,
and the second i let go i will crumble.

how could i become so dependent,
on you,
on this single soul?

be strong, they say, be fearless,
because fear is the enemy.
i ignored them.

but as i stand here,
holding you in an embrace for the last time,
every ounce of me is filled with remorse.

i regret not doing so many things,
simply because i was too afraid to.
fear was the enemy.

lessons learnt far too late,
my courage only now found.
but you're already gone.
May 2016 · 791
gone with the wind
taia May 2016
words escape my lips
      before i can restrain them

they are brutal murderers
      cold and unforgiving

i wonder if i'll get a life sentence
      for the things i have said

is there is a possibility of parole?
      or simply a life behind bars?

my own danger shocks me
      rattles me to the core

i never knew i could be capable of such things
      never knew i could say that to someone i loved so dearly

but the words are gone
      drifting in the breeze

constantly searching until they reach
      the ears of the person they will hurt most
May 2016 · 512
cold shoulder
taia May 2016
the silence is killing me.
     everyday we don't talk feels like eternity.

your blank stares are painful.
     it's enough to make me go mental.

i try to excuse you.
     but do you know what i'm going through?
May 2016 · 903
crescent (haiku)
taia May 2016
moons are out tonight
orbiting softly, unseen
just beyond planets
Apr 2016 · 667
courage to speak up (haiku)
taia Apr 2016
a piece of advice-
don't let moments pass you by
fear's the enemy
Apr 2016 · 1.5k
unseen (haiku)
taia Apr 2016
gestures unnoticed
a crime oh so trivial
yet it hurts the most
Apr 2016 · 891
late (haiku)
taia Apr 2016
the sun disappears
some say the world goes to sleep
but really it wakes
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