Just like your handwriting
You’re a mess
You hide yourself
By cunning words
Trying to disguise how you really feel
But that’s okay
I see right through the facade
You are the type of guy
Who sometimes cries alone
In his room
The type of guy
Who teases and messes with girls
Making them feel awful
Because it’s hard to express how you really feel
You are the type of guy
Who never shows his inner thoughts
You don’t believe anyone will understand
The chaos in your mind
But that’s okay
I see right through it
I am the type of girl
Who’s willing to put
My heart out there
However
You are the type of guy
Who never sees
A girl like me.

I close my eyes and feel the sun come untucked from the clouds,
bleeding blood orange through my eyelids.

No one really knows you and I the way we know our footsteps,
coming home across wood floors late at night.

The way we used to sit on windowsills,
or crosslegged across from one another on your bed.

Our arms sank into the crevices of one another,
I wanted to feel the weight of you to crush me,
if only just to feel the peace of the street.

Emotional sadism
has seduced me
time and time again
to fall for the pain
that still makes me
feel
leading me to
let go of all things selfish
and attach myself
to the "selfless"

My paper
ached to feel stories of you
on its pages

yearned to taste the adventures
you had with my heart with every
curve of a letter

and craved to vicariously
enjoy the pressures of pleasures
on it's blank slate
every time
you trace bedtimes
stories up and
down my spine

When I was born you smiled so big I thought you were going to hurt your jaw
When you play football with me I know you let me win
When you go shopping with me you have no clue on how to shop for girl clothes but that's ok
You don't always understand me but that's ok
You always cook and I love that
You always support me in the sports I do
Even if I hurt myself in stupid ways playing it
If I make a bad grade your ok you help me study harder
If I fall your there to catch me
You laugh at my silly jokes
Even though they are not funny
You cry when I cry
You worry about me even when I am asleep
You always are proud of me
You tickle me till my stomach hurts from laughing
And you hold my hand when times our rough
You scare those boys away that teased me
You take me out to eat to celebrate my birthday
You always know what I want for christmas
You always forgive me if I do something wrong
You ell me I'm the most beautiful girl  in the school
When I doubt myself and try to go on diets
Even though I look fine
When I doubt myself you say you don't need makeup
Makeup is to cover up flaws and you do not have a single one
You don't always get why I'm so obsessed with makeup and shoes
You always tell me I'm perfect even if I think I'm not
You always tell me you love me
And I always will love you

seven hundred and twenty nine feet below
a ferris wheel turns
shimmering in its slow white circles

a vision blurred
by hotel room windows
and sad thoughts
at 12:00 am

Pave me a path to the moon
I'll walk the whole way
Encouraged
By the silver dust craters
And white light

It looks to be a gentle place
A place to go to close your eyes
And exhale.
A place to go
To have your face touched
And heart filled

On the moon
I will be peaceful
I will revel in the
Weightlessness of it all
And store that feeling in my heart
Remembering it in moments
When I am feeling
Crushed by this heavy earth

And in the meantime
While my path is being paved
I'll keep my moon dream alive
By late night star gazing
And keeping
Silver dust in my pocket