Stand in the shadow of the apple tree
gaze into my chest where my heart use to be.
I hope revenge set thee free,
'cause my soul heads for eternity.
Thanks to this duel between you and me.

Look past the smoke into my eye
I'll be standing on my own two feet when you fall over and die.
Yet thine vengeance was a lie,
'cause you refused to lift your pistol past your thigh.
Thanks to this duel between you and I.

Like Bukowski
and like Langston Hughes
I've been consumed
by the midnight blues.

In a muddy field
My buddy and I shoot guns
then drink smoke and ****

Old Overholt
Straight Rye
Whiskey
****** man
do you miss
me?
We separate
when the sun
shine rises.
Kiss
where the moon
can't find
us.
After a while
you swoop me
off my feet
and
Help me lay
down for a
good night sleep.
After a while
you become an
empty shell
so I cast you away
into the darkness
called Hell.

On a cold Winter's day
    a plume of white smoke
could be seen from far away.

Not the smoke from a chimney or a cigarette lit,
this was a plume of heavy breathing
from two lovers having a fit.

Snow capped trees surround them as they argue,
neither wants to leave without first saying,
"I love you."

She pulls on the tips of her long black hair,
     standing in the middle of a forest,
unbeknownst to how she got there.

He fiddles with the lighter in his pocket,
wondering if leaving her
would be worth it.

Although it may not seem like it,
these two have made love,
                                             found love,
                                                                   and are in love.

The plume of heavy breathing will subside
    like the flame between them now
and turn into an ember
    burning long and bright,
as long as each one of them has the courage
     to say what's right.

The sun shone and the birds were out
today gave reason to shout
no doubt.

It's a red moon tonight
and I glance to the stars
for reassurance
that the world is still here---
that I was once apart of the heavens;
no reason to fear.

You were proud of me 4 days sober
you made me a quesadilla in my honor
you loved me greater than before
and I told you I wouldn't drink tonight
but honey
I'm sorry
I lost the fight
and I know you won't be mad at me
yet it was that light
that I'll miss, as I try to type this.

As the waves crash
when the sword makes a ****
we peer into the abyss
understanding what was always amiss
action, intention, and submission,
were lies to our mission.

Beat at it
and
Beat at it
and
Beat at it
Beat
Beat
Beat
Beat

Beat at it
till it hurts
Beat
Beat

Beat
till you're numb
Beat at it

Beat at it

Beat at it
till you're done

Beat
Beat
Beat

then wait
and wait and
Beat at it
some more.

What's the point
when a beer cap is shaped
like the mountains and valleys
of a heart beat?

Bryan, constantly worries about his life.
Today he went on a walk to clear his head.
It's a beautiful day, the sun is out and the birds chirp gaily.
After a bit, Bryan decides to sit on a log by a small pond
the woes of his future occupy his thoughts.
Then a spider bites Bryan,
suddenly he stops worrying, but,
poisoned by the spider,
Bryan dies.

I can remember
women with dark skin and ebony hair
entangling limbs with mine
turning to one,
give me a loving smile
making me feel fine

then

I fall off a balcony with a young boy
we fall together
hand-in-hand,
hitting the ground
the boy disappearing into the land

so

I lie in pain unable to move
yelling out "Why is no one helping me?"
my face against the snow
clowns dragging me home
walking to-and-fro

yet

I walk back up the stairs
in a dark indigo house,
with a nail through the foot
creating tears
dropping for a mile like soot

all the while

A 46 year old fool
playing with kids
has an unkempt beard and crown
laughing in my face and
is loved by all the town.
Its a circus, a terribly frightening circus.

Dani my dear, I made a mistake not expressing how I felt about you.
I miss those days when we danced in the cool summer evenings, buzzed from the wine, listening to the beat you made with your small Colombian feet stomping the hardwood.

I miss the quiet drives when we first met. I took you around the lake  during the Fall when the red leaves swirled in our wake.
Your long straight hair, jet-black, flowed downward resting on your chest; you were beautiful. You were beautiful against an orange blazing sunset with that long black hair and your tanned skin accenting that blue lake.

I miss the way you looked at me. Your deep brown eyes had something I couldn't touch or explain. I miss the way you'd smile when I'd become speechless looking into those eyes. I miss the way we hugged each other, as if each time was the first and last, how we used to stand holding each other.

I knew you wanted me to overcome my inner demons and kiss you and hold you and make love to you and caress you. Oh how badly I wanted to, every inch of me wished for me to give in to you. I wanted to love you. I wanted to love you.

I miss how you knew I couldn't bring myself to love you. I miss how you knew I had demons that tortured me, keeping me from loving you. My passion battling my reasoning.

I'm so sorry Dani... I think about you everyday and I failed to create something special between us. Something more special than the special relationship I had the honor having with you.

I miss you DanieLa

Sleep when the rain falls,
dirt and ash make the bed bugs crawl.
I'm contempt
watching spiders scurry across the ceiling wall.

Vivaldi
seduces the flask
of ***
with the violin
better
than Debussy
with the piano.

I get out of the car and rush towards her
grabbing her close to me
I kiss her
I kiss her ******* the cheek
my tears hidden in the rain
oh how happy I am
when she tells me
"Don't come back"
heavy tears
oh so heavy tears
hidden in the rain

The tik and tok of your life
cannot be described,
full of nothing
except hope
for something new,
something
waiting for you
to make life what you
dreamed,
yet only a dream
comes true
when you think.
The world spins around
the few
because
really it's
true.

The poor lonely duck
floats on the Spring mountain lake
waiting all alone.

*******, neon-green or bright red and pink
with polka dots yellow,
makes me one happy fellow.
She has bottoms so tight
that all of her *** hangs out with
just the crack out of sight.
Bikinis, bikinis---
what a way to spend
eating pasta fettuccine

I dream of fleeting moments desired,
juxtaposed along side of time already expired.

Gold beaches lined with floating palm leaves
billowing up and down in the warm Spring breeze.

Mesmerized by swaying hips dancing to the pounding
of drums and ***; my bliss I've found with every orange sun.

That world destroyed through paper thin walls
and every car crash and shop-lifted items stolen from the mall.

A stray dog barks and highways howl,
this moment I stay dreaming for a better now.

Three heads and a quarter,
barely even a meal for me.
How could one think it was good
for six pennies and tea?

*******,

A horse's tail whiplash made
Barefoot Pinot Grigio spill.
Angry children steal
from the shop owner's unguarded till.

What?

Eating apples with a pig under a fig tree;
I wonder if they'll ever find me?
A sword drawn on a child
the story ends with six pennies and a quarter
to spend. How mild?

If a man walked up and pointed a gun at my head and said,
"I can **** you or your friend. Now choose who will be dead."
I'd gladly choose myself to die instead.

I want to go on an adventure
where no one will bother me,
yet everywhere I go smiles.

Smiles like a child,
or smiles like the sun.

I want to go on an adventure

see the night on busy streets of the city,
wonder if the stars are brighter at sea,
feel the green grass of a meadow on a partly clouded day,
sleep on the sand and listen to the ocean,
make friends with a man who has no house but still has a home,
dance around a fire while drinking in an unsuspecting little town,

walk 'till my feet hurt ,
beg,
drift,
beg some more,

Through begging I'll find my fortune,
Like El Dorado.

I want to go on an adventure.

In the heat of the night bed bugs bite.
They'll crawl up the skin for every mortal sin.
Stuck asleep while covered in fear.
Swallowed up by a land both far and near.
This is a nightmare casted by witches.
Deservedly on handsome men and beautiful *******.

I stepped outside to see Him standing there
"Get in the car." He said
"I'll ride behind you in my limousine."
I drove myself down the long stretch of highway
it was finally happening, no more denying.
I stopped the car, got out, and walked back
He opened the black limousine door
knowing I wanted more.
"Come on, I'm a dead man." I said.
He handed me a cookie and I stole two more.

Cringe
to the whiskey
to the bad tattoos
to the radio music
and to the absence of Molotov cocktails
thrown against the tear gas

Got fired today
probably best for everyone anyway

Work made me secure
binding me up in a commitment to endure

I guess I'm not very nice
now I'm the one paying the price

I should try saving my money
Life's a ***** to those who just want food in their tummy

I suppose I should show a little gratitude
he offered me a job working on having a positive attitude

Driving along golden pastures
Between snow-capped mountain ranges
Under a perfect blue sky
is...
stunning,
but boring,
like you, my dear, just like you

Woe is me when I look up at the sky,
awe when the sky turns to night.
Blotting out the heavens,
like ink washing across a canvas,
pealing away our greatness and
revealing that we are miraculous.

I lay in bed
for a couple of hours
as cruel thoughts came creeping
to my dread
to share the mattress with me
so I said
"I'll get up"
apparently to eat bread
and to look at pictures
of newly-weds
and to smoke
and to sit on the toilet
and to read
all so I could get
cruel thoughts to subside in me
for a little sleep
and wake up dead.

It doesn't help to be sober
it only reminds me of you
Life would be so different
I wouldn't have to hit you
like I meant to

Lonely am I, when I lay in bed.
Holding on to you with just a thread.
Memories flash before me and I see you lying there,
All I want is to run my fingers through your hair.

You got mad when I didn't kiss you goodbye.
Every once and a while you told an occasional lie.
At times you were boring.
A few times I heard you snoring.
You never had anything to say.
We still had to talk everyday.
You didn't understand the hard life I lived.
You really didn't have much to give.

My room has no light,
and I sleep in the dark.
I shut my eyes but it lights up a spark.

Lonely am I, when I lay in bed.
With thoughts of you swirling in my head,
I become very sad, and then very glad.
Only if only I had not been so mad.

Your beautiful neck was so soft to kiss.
It is one of those memories I truly miss.
I always worry about that thread,
the one that makes me lonely, as I lay here in bed.

Look onward to the sky
perhaps life will seem simpler.

Look onward to the sky
and smoke a cigarette,
perhaps life will seem calmer.

Look onward to the sky,
then drink a beer
and smoke a cigarette,
perhaps life will seem funnier.

Look onward to the sky,
while holding her hand,
then drink a beer
and smoke a cigarette,
perhaps life will seem less lonely.

Look onward to the sky,
but listen to the silence
while holding her hand,
then drink a beer
and smoke a cigarette,
perhaps life will seem more relaxing.

Look onward to the sky
when thinking about life,
but listen to the silence
while holding her hand,
then drink a beer
and smoke a cigarette,
perhaps life will seem more enjoyable.

Look onward to the sky
even if it's for a little bit.

She took to sleeping,
He took to drinking.

Why sleep? he thought,
Dreams only remind the waking eyes
that life is better shut.
Depression. He supposed.

Drinking!
Now there's a remedy. He believed.
Live life and attack the bad parts
with a vice. Shut out the wallow
and bathe in the horrors of strife.

He thought, drinking from the bottle
of malice and spite.

Ripped from my body before mortality,
the shape of your figure,
the ***** of your waist
the thunder of your thighs
your *******, mountains
it all fits
every crevice of my body was filled
with your flesh!
Every dark wonder of you, explored.
you the lock,
I, the key.
Neruda! Neruda!
You tried to warn me.

There sunk into the soul of the oppressed
did my smart girl
reach out of hysteria,
lean on the bench, in the park,
and tell me
"It's about time you did something for me."

She continued,
"How drunk are you?"

I replied,
"Just enough my dear...
to keep my wit about me and
sacrifice living without thee."

I smiled and they took me away.
I knew I would never see her sweet
soul again.

No longer would I ever have a friend.


Wow, what an end?

With that the loving Sandra kissed Alex gently on his cheek and although she had kissed his cheek many times before, there was something different about this one, a little bit longer, a little bit warmer, a little bit harder. She was saying her goodbye.

He wanted to say something, but nothing would come out. She gave him a comforting smile, turned and began to walk away, each step tearing away more and more of Alex's courage until she disappeared into the fog and falling snow.

Love,
what a difficult subject,
yet a stream of consciousness
could help understand what is felt.

Was it love or abuse?
Only time could tell---
perhaps love is
in part
using another for gain, and accepting the pain,
till another time when both love a'gain.

A red streak highlighted her crooked nose
as she caressed her head on the window
outside a *****-tonk called ***** Crows.

One hand in her pistol bag,
the other crumpled up the ends
to her black velvet skirt.

Then she licked her upper lip
while pushing her shoulders
forward.

Did her eyes have color?

I don't remember,
'cause my world took a trip
with the wind out of L.A.

When I asked for her name,
she uttered with the letter, K.

A bird flew overhead today,
maybe it was Wednesday?
yet it was a sight to see
flying high and free
flying toward the sea.
How it doesn't get lost I'll never know
perhaps it runs away from the snow?
It barely flapped its wings
and it had small little rings
that wrapped around its leg,
probably to show its rich and doesn't beg.

She moved away from me
And that was alright
Hey pretty woman
I hope I didn't give you a fright
its  been a long time since my eyes
laid upon such a sight.

She began to yell
And  that was alright
Ha! pretty woman
like a hound you howl!
WOOOOO a WOOOO
Now shush woman, don't be foul

She ran away
And that was alright
Huh, pretty woman
you weren't the only one
who thought could get away
before I had my fun today.

Common Computer
show me the future!
Writing with pen and paper
feels so much quicker.

Life is full of terrible moments of happiness
Life is full of amazing moments of sorrow
Life moves onward and all the characters in life try to keep up

My life isn't what I want it to be, but I don't know what my life should be. Do I go searching; searching for a life? Is there a point to searching for a life when mere breathing is enough to live life?

Life is full of questions
Life is full of answers
Life is a teacher that no one understands

He opened his eyes to view ***** hands regretfully in filth.
Sitting in the rain he realized it.
splish, splash, patter patter
He had made a mistake.
splish, splash, patter, patter
He kept his eyes closed believing the rain would wash the filth away.
splish, splash, patter patter
It wasn't until that moment in the rain.
He opened his eyes to view ***** hands regretfully in filth.

I worried like a madman
about you last night
Only to wake up at
2:30am to see I had
nothing to fright.

Perhaps, it is only to survive
these treacherous days,
contorting, amid our delicate time.

To take what other form should we proceed,
suffering always,
while keeping meaning against this battle?

Carrying faith forever through crisis,
willingly alone,
until hatred reconciles with peace.

That Endurance shall be tested constant
with our undoing,
proving challenge to rest in our demise.

Survive, survive if living is
too great a task now,
tonight we’ll pray Hope gives birth to Mercy.