Shaking
Ever so violently
I hope nobody notices
Quaking
Ever so forcibly
I dare not move
Trembling
Ever so timidly
I hope nobody approaches
Quivering
Ever so fearfully
I hope somebody sees me
Whispering
Ever so softly
I hope they heard me
Speaking
Ever so nervously
I hope they reply
Screaming
Ever so harshly
I'm here! Why can't they see me?
Why can't they hear?
Where is my voice?
My lips, why won't they part?
There's a storm raging inside of me
I want it to stop
I can't make it stop
Why won't it stop!?
People are all around me
Why am I alone?
How am I alone?
I don't want to be alone
Everything begins to dim
The permeating darkness won't stop closing in
I can't see anyone or anything
I can feel something
Something I never felt before
It's so heavy
It's so tight
What is this weight on me?
Where is this pressure coming from?
Around my ankles
Around my wrists
Around my neck
There's something covering my mouth
I can't breathe
A sudden pain in my chest
My heart is enwrapped in thorns
This piercing pain is too much
Relieve me
Make it stop
Somebody save me
Now the pulling
Something is pulling at my heart
With each beat, the thorns pierce away
The pulling on my heart scares me
What is it that's pulling?
My mind is a blank
My mind is silent
My mind is lost
My heart slows its pace
My heart is weary
My heart stopped
I am defeated
The pulling starts again
Where is it coming from?
A faint whisper
I don't understand but my heart jumps
Shouts and screams of hatred and defilement echo harshly in my ears
When did they return? Did they ever stop? Did I just go numb?
They're drowning out the whispering
I want to hear it
I want to know what it said!
There are eyes within the darkness
They're glaring at me
They hate me
They want to destroy me
Somebody help me
Somebody save me
Invisible hands reach out and begin to touch me
They're disgusting and terrifying
They're clawing at me
Arguing...the shouters are arguing over me...
Who gets what piece of me
I don't know what to feel
I don't know where to turn
I'm ready for them to decide
I'm ready for them to destroy me
I just want this to end
Another feint whisper
"I..."
My heart jumps again
It's still too loud
Why do they have to be screaming?
Why does this voice have to whisper?
"I am...and..."
It's coming through clearer
I'm trying to block out their evil words
I throw my hands over my ears
The whispering continues to grow clear
My heart has started again
The pulling I felt was the thorns being removed
"I am the...truth...the...I..."
The words aren't flowing through my ears
They're flowing through my heart
What is this sensation?
The clawing away has stopped
The eyes are turning away
I can see a light above me
It's so far away
"I am the way, the truth...the...and I..."
I'm reaching out, but the chains are too heavy
I can't reach
I can't get close
I'm crying out but my voice won't do a thing
Tears are streaming down my face
I don't want to die
My eyes shut in defeat once again
There's no way I can ever reach that light
What do you mean I don't have to...?
I open my eyes and the light is before me
A hand is reaching out of it towards me
"I am the way, the truth, the life, and I love you."
He grabs my hand in His
The shackles around my limbs break
The weight is gone
I feel lighter than I ever felt
I'm surrounded by the light now
It's warm
I feel calm
Where once I would tremble and quake
I was now still
Where once I felt ignored
I felt adored
When once I felt alone no matter how many people were around me
Now there were none, but I knew that I was not alone
I knew people would still hate me but it no longer matters because...
I'm loved by Him.

Break me
Oh mighty crafter
A stubborn statue I have been
Though the hardships have weathered against me
Sought to endure through them, I have
But it is not the will of man or myself that seeks me broken
It is Your Will, Lord
Break me, not so I will fall and crumble
Break me, so that I may be rebuilt
Crafted in the beginning so that I might be displayed in your righteous and Holy hall at the end
A darkness was cast upon the world and I was overtaken
Deteriorating, I was
Living in this sinful state, I continued
Why? Just to exist?
When your Son came down, He offered me shelter from the elements
I thought myself forgotten, ready for time to take its toll
Destroyed, I was prepared to be
The corruption went deeper than the surface
No longer fit was I to enter your Holy hall at the end of all
Yet your Son, by Your hand sent, came to restore me
Break me, so that I may be rebuilt in the glorious visage you envisioned
Though the elements will be harsh against me still, I will trust in You to keep me
Break me, Father, so that I may be restored

Fallen from grace, that is the current state of man
Held down by the shackles of sin to the prison of death
Seeming destined for a sentence of eternal damnation
Yet it was seen fit by You, oh righteous one, to break our shackles and tear the prison asunder by the means of a man
Setting before the rest of us a path that we can follow
Had you not sent us a man, we would have made the decision of extreme rationale, that a higher being could not be immitated and we would have made peace with our eternal cells
Yet it was a man You sent, in Your infinite wisdom, for You are righteous
Deliver me, oh redeemer, deliver me from the confines of death
Annoint my head with Your oil so that my cup runneth over
Fill me with Your Holy Spirit, Almighty One
Lead me to Your treasure chest
For it is a bountiful one
Filled to brimming with Your knowledge, Your understanding, Your wisdom, and Your grace; Your mercy and lovingkindness
Give me not the key, but withhold nothing that Your servant asks of You in faith
When I seek, I find.
When I ask, I am given.
When I knock, the door is opened.
Deny me my own ways and instruct me in Yours
Break my heart of stone and give me one of flesh
Redeem me

Oh, how the mighty art fallen
Lucifer, son of the morning star
Behooved by manner of thy own devices
How pompous thou hadst become to refuse to bend thy knee to man
It was pride that filled thee to burst
Had it not been but a few millenia later
Even your knee would have bent to the King of Glory
Whenst He did stoop down to the level of man
Even you wouldst have cried out "Lord, Lord wouldst thou not take upon thyself my raiment of glory? Clothe yourself as a king, not as a commoner."
Were it so much that us being made of dirt and you of fire that your proudness could render thee blind to our beauty as endowed by our shared Creator?
Though our mediums be different, were the Crafter's hands not the same?
Wouldst thou haft only humbled thyself, a different world we could have
I pity and thank thee, oh fallen one
For showing me how not to be

To whom do I write about life's blight?
Is it for you, happenstance that you've read?
It is for myself, trying to overcome my inner dread
On myself I have placed these chains, afraid to let myself sore
I can't take it, I'm done, these shackles must be no more
My heart pounds rapidly with anticipation
I'll stand up proud and announce myself before a nation
If death becomes me then I shall languish no more
Truly it is better than being Suffering's personal *****
I'll follow the path of Apollo and bring myself to the sun
The burns are as nothing, taking a chance to have some fun
Seek not to return me to a life bound by shackle and chain
No longer will I live a life entrenched in pain

Why am I afraid to go dance?
Why am I afraid to take a chance?
I just want to cut loose and express what I'm feeling
The ideas of having eyes on me has me reeling
To let go of fear and set myself ablaze with internal fire
Right now, this is my only desire
Why do I watch but never join?
Why do I leave my fate to be decided by a coin?
Why am I afraid to take a chance?
Why am I afraid to cut loose and dance?

What is it like to have confidence beyond your gaze?
What is it like to have unwavering courage, even on your worst days?
I wish upon a star that I knew
I wish upon a star that it would spring out of the blue
Lowering my head to the ground and raising my hands to God
Does the world really find this trend so odd?
I guess most are just obsessed with the human '***'
I'll submit myself to the will of the Lord
If only we were connected by an ethernet cord
I run about wishing I knew what He wanted me to do
My ears feel deaf, I'm focused on you
I try to change my focus
My brain wonders, what about 'us'?
Is there a potential future?
When is it that I will truly feel mature?
Why must I fear all that I think to do?
Why must my heart and brain revolve around you?