Shaking Ever so violently I hope nobody notices Quaking Ever so forcibly I dare not move Trembling Ever so timidly I hope nobody approaches Quivering Ever so fearfully I hope somebody sees me Whispering Ever so softly I hope they heard me Speaking Ever so nervously I hope they reply Screaming Ever so harshly I'm here! Why can't they see me? Why can't they hear? Where is my voice? My lips, why won't they part? There's a storm raging inside of me I want it to stop I can't make it stop Why won't it stop!? People are all around me Why am I alone? How am I alone? I don't want to be alone Everything begins to dim The permeating darkness won't stop closing in I can't see anyone or anything I can feel something Something I never felt before It's so heavy It's so tight What is this weight on me? Where is this pressure coming from? Around my ankles Around my wrists Around my neck There's something covering my mouth I can't breathe A sudden pain in my chest My heart is enwrapped in thorns This piercing pain is too much Relieve me Make it stop Somebody save me Now the pulling Something is pulling at my heart With each beat, the thorns pierce away The pulling on my heart scares me What is it that's pulling? My mind is a blank My mind is silent My mind is lost My heart slows its pace My heart is weary My heart stopped I am defeated The pulling starts again Where is it coming from? A faint whisper I don't understand but my heart jumps Shouts and screams of hatred and defilement echo harshly in my ears When did they return? Did they ever stop? Did I just go numb? They're drowning out the whispering I want to hear it I want to know what it said! There are eyes within the darkness They're glaring at me They hate me They want to destroy me Somebody help me Somebody save me Invisible hands reach out and begin to touch me They're disgusting and terrifying They're clawing at me Arguing...the shouters are arguing over me... Who gets what piece of me I don't know what to feel I don't know where to turn I'm ready for them to decide I'm ready for them to destroy me I just want this to end Another feint whisper "I..." My heart jumps again It's still too loud Why do they have to be screaming? Why does this voice have to whisper? "I am...and..." It's coming through clearer I'm trying to block out their evil words I throw my hands over my ears The whispering continues to grow clear My heart has started again The pulling I felt was the thorns being removed "I am the...truth...the...I..." The words aren't flowing through my ears They're flowing through my heart What is this sensation? The clawing away has stopped The eyes are turning away I can see a light above me It's so far away "I am the way, the truth...the...and I..." I'm reaching out, but the chains are too heavy I can't reach I can't get close I'm crying out but my voice won't do a thing Tears are streaming down my face I don't want to die My eyes shut in defeat once again There's no way I can ever reach that light What do you mean I don't have to...? I open my eyes and the light is before me A hand is reaching out of it towards me "I am the way, the truth, the life, and I love you." He grabs my hand in His The shackles around my limbs break The weight is gone I feel lighter than I ever felt I'm surrounded by the light now It's warm I feel calm Where once I would tremble and quake I was now still Where once I felt ignored I felt adored When once I felt alone no matter how many people were around me Now there were none, but I knew that I was not alone I knew people would still hate me but it no longer matters because... I'm loved by Him.
I wrote this for anyone who knows this feeling of defeat of being entrapped in the darkness. Jesus Christ can save you from anything, even when you're ready for an end to a world that just doesn't seem to stop crashing down around you.