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My father walked me down the aisle,
But my mother held my arm.
He went with me,
But we went not towards the altar,
But towards the door.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And the ***** rang through the church,
Humming through the elaborate crown molding,
Carved by my ancestors.

He went,
Not beside me,
But before me,
And I watched,
As he was illuminated by the bright,
Overbearing,
Texas sun.

My father walked me down the aisle,
But I did not wear white.
My father walked me in silence,
And I shed tears not for a man standing at the altar,
But for the one I would never see again.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And no veil obscured my face.
All eyes were upon me, but not for my pristine beauty,
Instead for my clenched jaw and furrowed brow,
Severe and fierce to distract from my glassy eyes.

My father did not leave me at the end of our walk to sit beside my mother.
She clung to me for support and sobbed breathlessly,
Loudly,
Unavoidably,
And I carried her with one hand,
My sister the other,
And walked towards my future.
A future family,
Not one person more,
But one person less.
I walked,
One final time,
With him.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And I will never forget it.
Hundreds of eyes isolating my family from the crowd,
Slow and muffled sounds drowning in the deafening beat of my heart,
Blurred faces staring,
Black heels clacking against the cobbled path from the church,
The anguished wails of my mother,
The whimpering of my sister,
And the wooden box that glided before us,
Pulling,
A string tied to our patriarch,
The pin key of our family,
Pulled taut and then snipped with the slam of the hearse doors.

My father walked me down the aisle,
Before I had a chance to grow up.
He walked me,
Out of the church,
Away from the altar,
Never to be walked again.
If you're late,
there's no hurry.

If you're not ready,
just take your time.

If you're holding on
to the tiniest hint of resentment,
I'll understand.

No matter what,
I'll meet you there.

Just promise me,
you'll give me a chance,
to call you mom and dad again.
Where you stood, that was me years ago. I'll wait for you.
Dear _,

I’m writing this more for myself — a bold attempt to  let go of things carried quietly for too long.

Life. It’s hard, harder still when I’m tired, or hurting myself. On these hard days, the feeling of alone superseded the need to show up. But for the pieces of family that still matter to me. — for those who try their best to show up, for the memory of people we miss… In a world made of struggles, I never dare to ask for perfection.

A humble, tearful cry. I don’t want to feel invisible. I selfishly ask for love that means something more than shared dinners once a week.
Emily Jo Sep 2019
I only seem to write poetry
About love, heartbreak and pain
And no matter how many i write
The emotions stay swirling in my brain

I try to write about life and happiness
Of moving forward and contentment

But it seems
I can only
Write
About love.
Heartbreak.
And pain.

Maybe when i love again,
I can flush the swirls out of my brain.
Until then please bear with me
With my sappy heart melodies
Coupled with gut wrenching pain.

19/07/19
Emily Jo Jul 2019
Sorry
I’m not

your

Pretty

Korean

Girl

With brown locks

and a pouty allure

Sorry I couldn’t
Be

Worth a mention

To your inner world
Emily Jo Jan 2019
The smell of bed hair
a gentle reminder
of cloudy mornings spent

An unshaven face
coarse to touch
but melts my heart
all the same

A deep exhale
of how long it’ll last
not long soon after
this playful love dance
ends too fast.

prologue:
A dance of ignorance
a game of who loved less
with silence our paths
stay unchanging
with my heart unattended
is it you that is missing?
Emily Jo Jan 2019
Thoughts of you linger
Seeping through the cracks
Clouding up my mirrors
Faint whispers say yes

Hopes of a future it offers
Sweet temptations of the Devil
Ravenously chasing after thoughts
Constantly fearing what its not
Reality blurs quickly as i see
The distances between you and me

The day i stop writing of you
Will be when your face
Disappears from my heart’s view
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